Lone Life - 1
What did you think I'd say to that?
Does a scorpion sting while fighting back?
....
....
I don't know when my voice became this melodious or perhaps its just me who thinks like that. Taylor's songs really make you want to stay put and sing with her. And these lyrics are just killing me, how beautiful, they just suit my lone life.
It's no big deal, it's quarantine time, everyone is having their lone time. But I feel sick of it. Finally, after 8 months. Funny, right?
I sit up, my chair making that screeching noise, and I go out of my room. Today has been such a waste. I did not study at all. How am I gonna do it man! I was supposed to give 4 hours to theory and 5 hours to question practice but, I felt lonely, actually lonely, so I did what I usually do.
I opened Wattpad and started reading a new story. I read two today. Yeah, my reading speed is quite fast but this is me digging my own grave. So, when I felt like I couldn't stand ut anymore, I couldn't stand reading about someone else's life, and trying to fill my life with their happiness and sorrows, I decided, that I'll write my own story.
Yes.
I will, write my own story, but I haven't even started yet, I'm just pretending in my head that my life is such an amazing Wattpad story, speaking these lines in my head as I go out of my room.
Mum is sitting on the sofa, she's feeling quite sick nowadays. I wish I was a doctor already and tell her how to heal and all. But I'm not. And I'm clearly not working hard enough for that. Let me cry for my pathetic self for two minutes.
Life has been quite peaceful and a lot boring this year. 2020 hasn't been a treat of chocolates of course, I don't even want to start about it. But it's boring af.
"Ji, do the laundry, beta" ( translation : literally, son; child)
Mum orders me. I'm a spoilt child, I guess, not totally but I'm a rebel. A fucking big rebel.
"Um Hmm."
I collect all the clothes needed to be washed and put them in the washing machine. This is, perhaps, the third time in this year, I'm doing laundry. Argh, I'm...
I make my way back to my room, which is just near the washing machine area. My room is small, really small, and I like it that way, it's cozy, and it's a beautiful study space. I got a bunk bed, upper part of which is used to keep my books and some not-so-often used items and lower part has this irritating mattress that I would never want to sleep here.
And I don't, I sleep in my old bedroom where my brother and mother also sleep, it's just more comfortable there. And no, we're not poor, we're just a normal middle class family living in India.
In the morning, I made a list of things I needed to complete before the end of the week. And all of it included either physics, chemistry or biology. And right now I'm staring at Natural Selection written in the module provided by my coaching centre.
It's beautiful, studying. But I just can't concentrate. My mind takes me to all the places which make me realise that how pathetically lonely and boring my life is, and so I resort to doing that thing again: reading about fictional people's life. It's fun, but you can't keep on doing it forever.
I have to do magnetism too, yeah, I got just 1 month left. Well, I just open my eyes and see, my life isn't free, as free as I feel it is, I got a syllabus of both 11th and 12th grade to complete and then revise and take tests, review myself, etc.
But no doubt its boring, but no doubt its gonna make my life interesting later.
It's not like I'm completely lonely, I got two best friends. One of them, Aisha, whom we don't contact as often as we wish and another one, Cara, who is normal in this case.
I often meet Cara while we go for walks but being our lazy selfs, that's not so common. Usually I sit and wait, for something interesting to happen in my life, like a new crush, a new person to annoy or get annoyed with or anything exciting. But....
I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you was fading
.....
