Existing Connections

I tied the laces of my heavy hiking boots, and grabbed my backpack out of my truck. I gathered with the rest of the town's volunteers.

"A foreigner has gotten lost while hiking, his last known location was on the Saint Rosa trails. Considering the circumstances he could be in the forest by now" boomed the search and rescue officer.

At least once a year someone gets lost, they are usually found though. The officer knew most of us from previous searches, our capabilities were clear. Those inexperienced brought nothing but flashlights, the regulars brought small backpacks with food and first aid kits. Experienced searches were adorned with heavy boots, medical equipment and enough provisions to last at least 72 hours for two as well as other essentials like rope and flares. This is how we were assigned as well. My area was ghost walkers trail, it had a way of confusing people and was near a forest.

I headed out in search of the man, we'd been given a look at a photo. I turned and walked into the forest, the heavy fog that hung heavy in the air was quite common here. It is very likely that caught the person off guard.

The sun hung low in the sky, barely above the horizon. We only had an hour or so of light, not that it mattered. Tall evergreen and leaves covered trees created a nearly impenetrable canopy. Don't get me wrong, the forest was beautiful, but it was equally dangerous.

If I did find the missing person out here, we would likely have to make a camp, the chances of me finding them were low though. I kept my eyes trained on my surroundings, looking for broken branches and ah ha, a set of footprints.

It looked like they were fresh, they also curved oddly like the person was unsure what way to go and twisted around. No doubt it was the man. They headed off onto a small path, not even a trail. Maybe someone's old camping area. I grabbed a flashlight out of my bag, I held it tightly almost like a weapon against the animals that lurked in the dark.

I froze. Something was close. I pointed the light along the trees, I couldn't see much through the fog but the silhouette of someone was outlined between the light and fog. I exhaled in relief.

"Umm hey" I spoke awkwardly, I didn't expect to actually find him. I waved the flashlight in my hand.

"Hello" a deep voice called out, as we approached each other, he sounded quite attractive. Our footsteps and breathing echoed throughout the nearly silent forest. He was quite tall and had defined muscles. It was time to follow protocol now

"Are you injured sir? I'm part of the volunteer search party" I asked

"No no, I'm fine, just extremely lost. I'm so glad you found me" he spoke gratitude etched across his face.

I grabbed my satellite phone, I waited patiently while it rung

"I've found him, he's injured, I will make camp and head back at first light." I waited for an okay before hanging up.

"We are going to stay here until morning, it will be too hard to get back once the sun fully sets okay?" I spoke

"Fine by me, I'm Emanuel by the way. And you are?" he questioned, Emanuel sounded like such a mature name, i wonder how old he is or if he knows. I cringed at the thought.

"Amara" I said

"It's lovely to meet you Amara," he said, testing my name.

I stayed quiet, focusing on tying the tarp I carried, to an overhanging tree branch. It was odd seeing someone so familiar with this type of thing to get lost I thought, as he grabbed the fire and started with ease. Little sparks danced into the air and red embers glowed on the ground.

As the fire grew to a small but illuminating size I began to see him more clearly, he wore a navy blue dress shirt and jeans. The lines in his face showed his age as he blew on the fire. He was very out of place.

I wasn't sure what to say to him, I was never good at talking to people. Especially after the diagnosis, I think it made me critical of myself. That could be me trying to deflect though. Every time i tried to change and be better I'd fail the moment I had to show any progress.

I shivered lightly, it was really cooling down. I rummaged around my backpack, I felt the softness of a thermal blanket. I looked for another, there was only one though. I clenched my hands together, we would have to share.

I wasn't mad about it just uncomfortable, I wonder if Emanuel would feel that too. I wasn't sure how to even approach that, should I just be like hey um I have a blanket wanna share. No I could not ask to tell him that way, thinking about it made me beyond uncomfortable. Should i just say that i have it and not provide an explanation, yeah that doesn't sound too awkward.

"I've got only one blanket..." I said trailing off. Uhhh we only had one shelter to, being so close to him would be..., I don't really know. I was close to no one, not even my parents. I sighed, I wanted to be. But actions are harder than words.

"Sharing or not is okay with me, it's up to you." he said while feeding the fire, I couldn't say no. Doing that would be rude in my opinion, I would have to get over it.

"I don't mind either" I said preoccupied with the shelter. There would be enough room for us both to sleep, the space between us would be no more than one foot depending on how much muscle he had.

"Alright then Amara" he said while walking around the fire to sit by me. It would be easier to share in the shelter, and less nerve wracking.

"The shelter is ready, that's your side" I said pointing to the left. We both crawled under the small tarp and laid down. I tossed the other half of the blanket towards him. He was closer than I thought. Our backs were nearly touching. My hands shook lightly and a thin layer of sweat covered my forehead. The sound of my breathing felt too loud for comfort. I struggled to control my every action and reaction.

In situations like these I always thought too much, I stayed silent for I don't know how long. I think Emanuel is asleep, his breathing was even and I could nearly feel the rise and fall of the blanket as he slept. My shoulders loosened a little as I shifted to a more comfortable position. My eyes fluttered close, I might actually get some rest.

I yawned the moment I woke up and opened my eyes, forgetting myself. I rolled over onto Emanuels side. Thankfully he was already awake. Sitting up I grabbed my phone, I turned it on. It was still early, only 7 or so. We would have plenty of time to get back, it was still best if we packed up though.

"Good morning" Emanuel said while kicking the remaining ashes, just in case they were still hot.

"Good morning, we should get ready to leave" I said while packing up the shelter. Food, I thought as my stomach grumbled. He was out here longer he must be so hungry. I grabbed two granola bars and offered him one.

"Here" I said waiting for him to take it

"Thank you" he replied while grasping the food.

"So Amara tell me about yourself," he said as we walked. He looked genuinely curious and not just trying to be polite.

"What do you wanna know" I questioned, Emanuel thought for a moment before answering

"Well are you from here" he questioned, I nodded realizing that I didn't speak, and he didn't see me.

"All my life" I said, he looked shocked

"Have you ever left Saint Rosa?" he questioned while turning to look at my face, I avoided his eyes.

"Other than a couple towns over, I've never been off the island" he wasn't surprised at my answer, it seemed obvious to him.

"Have you ever wanted to leave?" he asked as we moved closer on the narrow path. I had to think of my answer, truthfully I craved to leave but it terrified me.

"Sometimes" I spoke

"Where are you from?" I questioned

"I was born here, and grew up in Europe and that is more like my home" my mouth went slightly agape. I never would've guessed he was from here. Everything from his attire to manner screamed foreigner

"So what brings you here" he must have a motive everyone does, whether it be visiting family to business.

"Work" it made sense

"Are you happy Amara" his question shocked me, where did it even come from.

"I-Im content I think" I said unsure, I'd never really thought about it. We were strangers and would stay strangers though. Being honest to him was okay today even if I denied it when this was over.

"Why do you ask that, are you unhappy" I questioned him finding a little bit of confidence

"I don't believe I am, yet I have nothing to be overly happy about." I thought about what he said for a minute, i'm not sure why but I understood what he meant.

I hummed in agreement, without specifically answering him. I couldn't think of the right words to address his realization or my own.

The closer we got back to town, the more light that streamed down onto the ground. As unideal this circumstance was, I don't want to go home. Staying out here meant I could actually breath. Even with Emanuel here, the space between us gave me enough reason to feel more comfortable with someone than I had in a long time.

The town loomed in the distance a kilometre or two away, the beach was right beside us, there is no way he could get lost. Seeing this Emanuel stopped walking and turned towards me.

"Thank you for rescuing me, I don't want this to be goodbye. Not yet" he paused for a moment. I waited intently, I wondered what he would say next

"Will you accompany me for a short walk on the beach?" I tried to contain the giddy smile that spread across my face, into a more neutral one. I couldn't deny how much I wanted to think so I smiled.

"Sure" I said while placing my foot on one of the fence rails, it was the fastest way down to the beach. I waited a moment and looked back to Emanuel. I didn't want him to think I was different, so I waited until he decided to do the same. He moved beside me and placed his hands on the top and feet on the bottom. We each climbed up and down.

My shoe caught on the edge of the top, I lost my grip and slipped lightly. Before I could lose my balance and fall Emanuel who had already made it to the ground rested his hand on my back catching me. He held his hand out. I gripped it awkwardly as I jumped down.

I didn't want to shrug him off when he touched me like most people, instead it was pleasant. Despite that, it was different, and hard to react to. Most people would react like he did, how do I react now though.

I shivered, my jacket had gotten muddy earlier, it was warm then. I rubbed my hands up and down my arms, trying to bring some warmth back into them. I tried not to be too obvious, the last thing I wanted was for Emanuel to notice.

"Here your cold" he offered holding out his suit jacket

"No, it's fine really" i said shaking my head rapidly

"Amara, take it." I sighed and nodded. He draped the jacket around my shoulders

We walked quietly along the shore, the waves made up for our silence. They took what we couldn't say and said it for us in a little burst of anger.

"The last day with you has been really good, talking with you has made me happy" he spoke sincerely as we approached the parking lot.

"Me too," I said, stopping by my truck, remembering his jacket. I pulled it off my shoulders, noticing what i was doing he put his hand up dismissing the matter

"Keep it, to remember our time together" he said, opening his mouth again than abruptly closing it. He soon spoke

"Goodbye Amara" there was nothing else I could say, other than what he just did

"Goodbye Emanuel."

After uttering these words I tossed my bag into my truck and started the engine, back where this experience started. Back to my life. All the uncomfortable moments couldn't turn me away for craving his company though.