What is your opinion?
Relatable characters in a fictional world
"The writing style managed to maintain the theme of the story, silent twists and constant suspense are two pillars that hold up the intriguing plot, constant improvement in writing style can be noticed as we go further into the story, the main character is very relatable and lengthy paragraphs kept the story continuous, need a little improvement in explaining the world of winterwich, and I really liked how occasional updates about time and mood of the story are given by News headlines popping at the end or in the midst of a chapter. amazing visualisation, do not stop, all the best!!"
Good but needs work
"The description sets up things well but seriously lacking in important punctuation like full stops there though. The opening paragraph is ok, but it is one big sentence that needs to be broken up and you need to choose better descriptive words. You repeat ‘cold’ in ‘cold snowy’ and ‘cold-blooded’ - this needs changing to maybe frozen snowy or cut-throat. The lack of full stops continues into the first chapter and your paragraphs need to be put together better too. A lot of your paragraphs are just long sentences. It does move at a good pace though. There are times when after commas you start words with capital letters, is that where new sentences are supposed to start? If so the commas after the word before it need to be full stops. You also you ‘I’ a lot like ‘I did’ and ‘I saw’, maybe trying changing that a bit because it is repetitive. There is also problems with punctuation after speech marks. Commas and full stops right after speech need to be in the speech marks, and you need to make sure you start a new line for a new speaker, that only happens once in chapter one. The build up to Leo meeting Freddy was very good, but again the long sentences mean it isn’t a smooth read. The line ‘I apologised them like a gentleman’ about a third of the way into chapter one should be ‘I apologised to them like a gentlemen’. Just after that you start a new line and paragraph with ‘it’s’ but it needs a capital I. There are a few really long paragraphs that are hard to read due to the long sentences and lack of punctuation. The mystery around this figure and the fear is interesting and you really feel how much it is troubling Leo and how desperate he is to catch him. I liked the cliff hanger of chapter 1 too. In chapter 2 you do give good information to the reader, but the last line in the first chapter needs to be changed to make better sense ‘we were not sure if he was alone or operated as a group’ needs to be ‘we were not sure if he was alone or if he operated with a group’. The fact he becomes a star on social media and there spooky hashtag really makes this more disturbing and says a lot about the area and world this story is set in. In the second part there are a few times where the wrong speech marks are used at the end of speech. There is an interesting and thrilling story here but the many mistakes hide that. I'm sure it will be great when you fix them and the reader will enjoy solving the mystery with Leo."
Thrilling
"Damm the way you write is giving me the goosebumps...I’m waiting to read more! Update soon✨✨✨"
review
"spine chilling thriller highly recommended and waiting for the upcoming chapters the way the scenes are depicted really dipped me into the story"
