Always With You

I've always been the outcast something that no one ever pays attention to. Its been like this since I was in 1st grade. Now I'm entering my Jr year of high school. Which means one more year in this shithole they call high school.

Back at my old high school I didn't talk or get super close to anyone. Getting close to people means them getting to know you who are you and most important who you like.

See there's the problem and here's why I'm gay yea I know times are changing blah blah blah not a huge deal right. I mean I've seen a bunch or gay movies and watch a whole lotta tv shows that have a representation of LGBTQA+ characters. These are just a few of my favorites Love Simon, Love Victor, Hidden Kisses, Struck By Lightning, Glee, Pose, Queer As Folk, Shameless, Andi Mack, you get the point.

It's not that I don't want to tell my family and the only two friends I really have its just I don't know how to tell them or how they'll react.I have very loving friends and family members its just the fact that they have their beliefs on how things should be and I don't fit those beliefs so I have to put on an act 24/7.

The only person who knew I was gay was my older brother now I'm the oldest sibling William died in an accident five months ago.I miss him like hell but I can't show it, right now I'm thinking about literally everything that can go wrong today and this school year.My mom is taking forever to come to the car and I'm kinda get not in a great mood today.One I can drive myself to school but this morning she practically begged me to let her drive me to school and two my car is sitting in the driveway so why can't I just drive.

After like ten more minutes of waiting for my mom she finally comes."Sorry Adler I had to help your brothers and sister get ready your father is having trouble with them but were good ready to go its your first day as a Jr.

I try to sound as exciting as I possible can

"Yea Mom I'm really excited to start school without my older brother and with a bunch of strangers."

I did a really fake smile.

"Honey we moved so that we all can start over and start fresh this is your year make new friends go out find a nice girl go to dances."

I just said "okay Mom" I truly didn't know what else to say would this have been the right time to say "Mom I'm gay" I shook my head at that ridiculous thought and stared at the window some more.

Until we pulled up to the school building I jumped out the car so fast I almost tripped.

"Be careful honey have a nice day at school"

"Okay"

I said in a weird tone I'm almost 17 years old and she says that type of stuff on a high school campus ground embarrassing.

"This is going to be a very long year."

And I walk to my classroom I got my schedule last week so I'm good.

Here's to my Jr Year.

Great.