Be

The afternoon was exceptionally bright. All the faces were looking happy. Why wasn’t anyone crying? Why wasn’t anyone running and screaming?

Ethan went to say hi to his friends and he left me alone. I turned around to look at the building right in front of me. It was exuding calmness. Little did I know that it would be the last time I look with the same heart and breath.

Suddenly I felt something sharp puncture my chest. Everything stopped for a second. Now people were screaming, crying and running. Not for me, but for themselves. They feared their own lives. It seemed as though time was ticking a hundred times slower. I felt like I had all the time in the world. Everything around me was happening in slow motion.

I could clearly see each drop of blood coming out of my wounded heart, people looking at me from afar as if they were watching a horror movie, my chest going up and down each time I would inhale and exhale, the sun shining brightly like it was my birthday.

Suddenly I realized that I was going to die. I started feeling lonely and scared, so I wanted to die while having someone I knew by my side. I lived lonely and I didn’t want to end my journey with the same excruciating feeling. Among all the unknown faces that slowly started approaching me lying flat on the floor, I spotted Ethan. “E, where is…?” I felt my breath slowly becoming shorter and shorter.

Time started going a lot faster. The world was now spinning like a ball on fire. Every word people were saying became a million times louder.

“Thal please don’t speak. Just keep on breathing.” Ethan looked ridiculously angry. Ethan was my friend of 1 year. We were very close even though we never tried to. Everything, with him, felt so natural. He was like my brother. He was someone who looked out for me, and I trusted him with every inch of my being. Ethan had dark brown eyes and hair. He had the shape of a body builder. he always dressed in all black clothes.

“Arlen” I whispered in Ethan’s ear. “fuck! Where is Ar. Arlen!” he called Arlen with all his might. Ethan started crying, the last thing I expected him to do since he was such a strong and cold looking guy. Arlen was on the stairs right beside where I was. The boy didn’t know me. We just had some classes together and that was it. Ar came and I instantly recognized him despite the pain I was feeling in my heart.

Fear of dying is really cruel. It makes you do things that you were scared of doing the most. I smiled at Ar. That was all I could do. He was so disoriented that he asked if I was hurt when he could clearly see that I was bleeding my guts out. How I wished I could get up and hug him. Tell him that everything will be fine. Tell him that I will always be there to protect his innocent heart.

Yes. Arlen was my crush. He usually spoke very little, but he had the most attractive voice I had ever heard. The most beautiful hazel eyes anyone could have. In my eyes, he always looked like an angel straight out of heaven. Shining with lights from God, Himself. You know, heart is a very strange thing. It does what it wants without minding whether you will be hurt or not. My feelings for him were so strong that sometimes, I would get confused if I liked, loved, or hated Ar. That didn't seem to matter anymore as it was my last moments breathing the same air as him.

I got to a point where I couldn’t breathe at all. My whole body was shaking. Strangely enough, an ambulance arrived in a matter of minutes. Usually they were late. I guess I was lucky. They got me into the ambulance and I held Ar’s hand tightly. I was so scared. Ar and Ethan got into the ambulance with me. I couldn’t breathe, The nurse who was inside held something to my mouth that made breathing a bit easier. She told the two guys that I should stay awake at all costs or else I would die. I was holding Arlen’s hand so tight. We were looking into each other’s eyes as he was sitting Across of me. He started talking. “You’re going to be fine, Thalia. You will get better. I promise. Please stay with me. We are going to finish the classes together and we will graduate. Thalia please!” I started crying. It was really strange. I didn't shed not even one tear this whole time, but i started crying like a baby once Ar opened his mouth to talk.

The pain was so intense that I couldn’t do anything. “Arlen, mom and dad are going to be so sad about me leaving.” I managed to finally say my words. “Don’t worry Thal, the university staff will call them and they will be with you. You won’t die Thal. Promise me. We have so many things left to do together.” Ethan was bawling his eyes out.

The strangest feeling to feel while being driven to a hospital is feeling loved and appreciated. Ethan's tears and Arlen's words made me feel like I mattered for the first time in my life. Suddenly I didn't want to die. That moment was way too precious to just pass and never come back.

"Thank you, guys." I said with the slightest hint of smile on my face.

We finally arrived at the hospital. I was still holding onto Ar’s hand like it was the only thing I had in the entire world. Words can’t describe, at that moment, how strongly I felt attached to a guy that didn’t like me or even know me.