Save Me If You Can

I have been told ever since I was little that I was a disgrace and should have died when I was a baby, but even as they looked down on me I know that someday I will prove them all wrong. Even if it means pushing myself to hell and back to prove to everyone that I can accomplish everything they send I couldn’t. Oh sorry, I’m over here ranting and you don’t even know my name. My name is Delilah Faith Rosewood and I have always been treated differently because of my heritage, my mom was a shadowhunter while my dad was a warlock. The Clave doesn’t approve of me because for centuries there have been fights between downworlders and shadowhunters and they consider me an abomination because I have both warlock and shadowhunter blood. I am both a shadowhunter and a warlock it really sucks because I have to train twice as hard as the rest because I have more to learn, like how to use my powers correctly and how to kill demons right. So it is really hard because I constantly have to train and study so that I can do things right and not mess up when I try and do a spell or when fighting a demon. When I don’t have to practice spells or training how to kill demons I love to draw because it helps me feel more connected to my mother. After all, she used to be an artist but she died when I was 5 and my dad doesn’t talk about her that much I guess it’s just too painful for him. I just really wish I knew more about her so I could feel like I am close to her even though I don’t remember anything about her. My dad keeps a box on his bedside stand that has my mom’s picture, several paintings or drawings, and even a lock of her hair, sometimes he will open it and pick the hair up and move it against his face. I guess he does it to feel more at home with my mom even though she isn’t here, I sometimes wish he would tell me about her but he doesn’t have any other pictures of her besides the one in the box beside his bed. I have never been outside the fey lines that tell us where each of the other downworlders land is, but then again my dad is very protective over me and doesn’t want me to get hurt in any way. I think he is overprotective because we lost my mom, but he won’t even tell me how she died. Why can’t I know? What happened that was so bad that he won’t tell me? I mean I am 17 after all, in a year I will technically be an adult in the Claves eyes. I just wish after all this time that my Dad wouldn’t see me as his little girl I mean I, not a little kid that needs taken care of 24/7. I have two best friends that I barely get to see anymore because my Dad is overprotective. He once tried to kill my friend Justin Nightshade all because he hugged me after I woke up from a nightmare. Justin has always been there for me no matter what like the time when someone was making fun of me for having mixed blood Justin was there and he told them that it wasn’t my fault for having mixed blood and that instead of everyone going against it they should consider it because all my parents wanted was peace between both of their groups. There was another time after me and my other best friend Evelynn Hope Carstairs, she is the only one I can talk to when I feel alone in this world plus she is my parabatai. What that means is that we swear to fight for one another, and if it came down to it we would die for each other, and this also means that we are tighter than blood.We mean the world to each other even though Justin hasn’t found a parabatai yet doesn’t mean he won’t because the Accords say that if you don’t have a parabatai after you turn eighteen then they have to give you one at random and you are stuck with them until one of you dies. That is why it is good to find someone you trust when you are little so that when the conversation of becoming parabatai comes it won’t be scary because you are already used to fighting, protecting, and taking care of each other that you will be ready to do it. I remember after the parabatai ceremony I looked at the rune and as I looked at it I felt a jolt of energy course through my veins. I turned around to find Evelynn looking at me with just as much hope as I looked at her with, but when I turned to look to show my dad that I finally got a parabatai I saw that he wasn’t even there. I remember feeling Evelynn’s and Justin’s arms go around me and pull me into a hug, I cried that night because I was sure that it was my fault for my Dad not being there. That’s why when I start to feel that way I remember what Evelynn alway said to me, ” It is his fault for not coming not yours, I promise.” My Dad doesn’t talk to me that often and he barely even recognizes that I’m around any more that is why most of the time I stay at Evelynn’s or Justin’s house. I don’t like the fact that it feels as if I don’t belong in my own house, it is sad sometimes I think it is my fault because of the fact that based on the picture that I look at a couple times when my Dad isn’t looking. It seems as if I am the mirror image of my mom so I guess that’s why my Dad can’t look at me without almost crying.