Passion Reignited

Start writing here…September 1990

Sweating as I ran on the treadmill at the gym, I noticed a crowd of gorgeous blondes gathering around a dark-haired, muscular man. Curiosity got the better of me, so I pushed stop, wiped my brow, and moved to the weight bench to get a better view. My heart stopped when I saw my ex-boyfriend from college at the center. Muscles bulged from his legs. I couldn’t let him see my 27-year-old divorced extra body weight. I grabbed a pop-psychology, self-help magazine from the stand for members and ducked my head.

Seeing Tony, my college lover, made me recall days filled with excitement and carefree romance. We were young and in love, and damn anyone who wanted to stop us. Since David, my ex-husband and I split, I felt older and unattractive. I hoped that the gym membership would help boost my self-esteem. Who expected to see him here?

After the blondes disbursed, I looked over at him as he took a washcloth and wiped the sweat from his face and neck. I marveled at how he could appear more fit and distinguished while I felt worn out and exhausted. In college, I could have had any guy, but I wanted Tony. Unfortunately, he wasn’t ready to settle down, and I ended up getting hurt. I married a man who was the total opposite, but that didn’t work either. So the best thing for me to do was to stay away from all of them, which I did, but loneliness engulfed me.

I continued working out, praying that Tony wouldn’t see me. But a few minutes later, he was waving to me from behind three thin, taut females who were gawking at him.I smiled and quickly bent my head, and turned up the volume on my disc player. Later, while pushing hard on the stepper, a finger poked my shoulder, and I turned to see him standing next to me. I scoffed and rolled my eyes, but truthfully, I was flattered he left three stunning women to come see me.

“I thought I recognized you, Rachel.”

I pulled my headphones off to hear him. “Yup, it’s me,” I continued stepping, my heart pounded with nerves.

“How’ve you been?”

“Good, good,” Tony stared at me. Since he always read me well, it was possible he’d know I was lying, so I decided to be honest. “Well, not great, I got divorced about six months ago, so it’s been a little rough.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” He sounded genuinely upset, “His loss.”

“And you?” I asked, avoiding the comment.

“Same, really. I still enjoy working out, obviously.” Yes, and it shows. Not being able to concentrate on exercising and searching for the right words to say to him at the same time, I hit the stop button. “Well, as you may remember, I backpacked through Europe.” Yes, that’s what you told me when you left me. “I opened a restaurant in Italy, but after three years, it went under.”

“Hey, I’m sorry to hear that.” He always talked about opening a restaurant when we were dating. Feeling sorry for him, I held back the urge to touch his hand.

“Well, things worked out for the best. My parents handed the reins of the family business over to me and I’ve became passionate about real estate. But now, well, the mortgage rates are steadily rising. Not great for business.”

“Don’t have to tell me that, I’m aware. I actually work for a mortgage company.” I saw him smile when he realized we had this in common. “Not exciting, I’m just a loan processor and I find it dreadfully boring. But right now I’m praying I can hold onto the job.”

“You’re a bright lady, hard worker. I’m sure you’ll be fine.” Tony raised his eyebrows up at me.

I pressed the button to continue my workout. He moved to the front of the machine, with his arms folded, he leaned against the wall and watched me. I got out of breath and finally stopped. I had no choice but to address him. I asked him what I wanted to know. “Did you ever get married or have kids?” I hoped to sound nonchalant.

“No, never found the right woman. To be honest, not sure if I could settle down. Work and building a name for myself in the business took over my life.” He asked, “Still dancing?”

I laughed, “No. A little here and there when I was married. The money I made from dancing wasn’t a lot so I worked some administrative jobs. Later, I ended up finding a temp job at the mortgage department of a bank. I picked up the loan industry easily and learned the process from the bottom up. I’ve needed money since the divorce, so I haven’t had time.”

He cocked his head to the side. “ I’m sorry that you had to give it up.” He sighed. “You were so talented. I loved watching you.”

“Thank you. You were always supportive,” I said, reminiscing about him never missing a performance. “From what I can tell, you haven’t changed much. Looks like the ladies are still drooling over you.”

He shrugged, “It doesn’t mean much to me anymore.” I didn’t believe him for a second. “Hey, want to get some smoothies so we can talk more?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“We said all we needed to say.” I wiped my face with the towel that was draped over my shoulder. “We were never good at talking anyway.” My cheeks flushed when I realized what I said out loud.

Tony continued to talk as we walked to the juice bar. “But we were very good at other things.” Typical Tony. He could talk me into just about anything with his smoldering look, as I followed him. At the bar, he put his hand over mine and reminded me how he could melt me with a simple touch. His voice was deep, smooth and seductive. The man oozed with sex appeal.

I looked into his light brown eyes briefly, “Right. Sex, freedom and rebellion. That’s about all we were good at.”

“I didn’t have a problem with the way we were.” He took his eyes off me, and asked the server for two banana smoothies. Didn’t ask what I wanted just made the decision for me.

“I didn’t either,” I was referring to our sexual connection. “But we were kids, and college life wasn’t real life. We didn’t have responsibilities. Now there’s bills, careers, well, the real world.”

“True, but my real estate career gives me flexibility and selling comes easily, as I know a lot of people around here. I have no problems paying my bills, so I’m doing okay.”

“Hey, that’s great.” I lied. I was jealous he found his life’s calling, because I had no clue where my life was going.

“Maybe I could give you some contacts to get you started dancing again?”

I shrugged, “I don’t find joy in dancing anymore.”

“I can’t believe that.” He leaned against the bar, crossing his arms.

“It’s true, I haven’t danced in six months, probably.” I started to get up from the stool.

“No, wait Rachel! Maybe we had more than just sexual chemistry?”

I sat back down. “Tony we had fun. I don’t regret the relationship we had. What I do regret is that you left me.” I told him the truth.

“In my opinion,” Tony’s eyes traveled the length of my body, “For sex to be good, there has to be something.”

“I suppose,” I shrugged.

“You mean you never thought about me through the years?” Tony was too much. Any other man would have been offended by my kiss-off. He continued, “I think you have. In fact, if I know anything at all about you, you probably thought about me a lot.”

I smirked. “What makes you so sure?”

“I couldn’t stop wondering about you.”

“Really?” It moved me that he admitted this. “Then why didn’t you come looking for me when you got back from Europe?” As we sat on the stools at the bar, I nervously tore the edges of ,my napkin on the bar counter top.

“Because I heard you got married.”

“Oh.” Well that made sense.

I tilted my cup up for the last of my smoothie and then looked at him. What now? Now that I had seen him, I didn’t want to stop talking, but I certainly didn’t want to go anywhere with him either. I didn’t trust my celibate self with him, it’s been six months, probably more if you count the last year or so of my marriage.

“I’d love to see you again Rachel. What days do you work out?”

“I don’t have set days,” I shrugged, “I only joined last month.”

“Guess I’ll see you here then.” He hesitated a second. “But maybe you’d consider going out sometime since we’re both single?” He borrowed a pen from the server and used the napkin that I frayed in my nervous state to scribble down his number. Tony placed it in my hand.

We stood up at the same time and awkwardly gave each other a short hug,he whispered in my ear, “Even sweaty, you still feel great.”

Yeah, right. He always knew just what to say.