Thought provoking

"I am glad that you decided to write on a topic so close to your heart. I can't imagine what this would have been like to experience first hand! I feel like the story could be a bit longer with a few more details added in. By adding more description to the landscape and children, I feel like it would heighten emotion. I like that the story ended with hope for the future. It would be great to hear what the protagonist decided to do in response to this."