Terrific Piece!

"To put it simply: I loved this story. You certainly do a fantastic job establishing the setting right away. Busy, chaotic, and of course, full of drunk people. I might see how someone could write this off as being written too quickly, but from what I gathered, it was perfect. It's our first glimpse into Ava's mind, and for someone who isn't ostentatious or really likes much attention at all, it's easy to see it as being overwhelming. This, coupled with such things like her thoughts about her dress and the committee of voices in her head, help illustrate what basically the norm for people who deal with high anxiety. I've read a few stories dealing with similar characters, but I've yet to see one who captures that exhausting fear and dread, well, until now. Brief though the story seemed, Ava and the characters around her were very well-written. Again, I enjoyed that so much of this story took place in Ava's head. It simply wouldn't have been the same if it were solely descriptive, going against the often given writing advice of "Show, don't tell." The betrayal she was dealt with was certainly enough to begin with, but once we see what she's actually been through, one will only find more ways to relate to her. I think that's what I found so great about this story, in that it has something that so many of us have dealt with, and thus, can find easy to relate to in this story. I awarded you four stars on the technical writing category not to avoid giving you a perfect score, but just glancing over the story a second time, I simply noticed a few typos here and there. Nothing major or consequential to the flow of the story by any means. The only one I can think of right this second was somewhere in the first chapter where you wrote 'was' twice in a row. There were a few others, but honestly, a quick read through would likely correct all of these in short order. For anyone who looks at reviews before jumping into a story, I can't recommend "Ava's Last Run" enough. It has something for just about everyone to relate to, be that to whoever has ever lost someone they loved, felt the pain of betrayal, dealt with crippling anxiety, or even lost themselves in an activity such as running. A well-written, bittersweet story. Thank you for sharing this with us."