Spare Parts

We're both best friends,


And we both liked each other,


Yes it may be cliche,


But in this story we actually know,


We both know that we have these weird feelings for each other,


But can't do anything about it,


We're too scared to actually say "fuck it, why don't we just date?"


Instead, we're constantly facing the problems that normal "friends with benefits" do,


Missing them constantly, but knowing you can't call them up or else it might go further


Kissing once in a while, aka every week, to get it out of your system, then realize that you can't get it out of your system because your too in love,


And finally having to deal with the shit that comes along when they have a new partner.

What else could happen if you throw in some crime here and there?








꧁꧂


"𝚆𝚑𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚛𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔?"

My best friend of 12 years, and I were laying here, on our backs, one hand intertwined with another, slowly coming to the conclusion that this was it.

The end of another night.

The countless nights that we had, the same exact ending, the same exact hurt that surfaced whenever I came to realization that I wasn’t going to wake up like this tomorrow.

I was going to wake up alone, cold, and empty.

No butterflies, no comfort, just the same old bed that I slept in for years, alone.

Our feelings keep growing, but only ever last one night at a time.

Why, you may ask?

Four years ago we kissed for the first time.

It was beautiful as they all say.

For me it felt like a million tingles hit me all at once.

Like I just drank water after running outside.

Like I just found the best high that gave me all the endorphins I needed to run for days without ever feeling tired.

It felt like bubbles, tears of joy, like the most purest form of love and happiness.

Like something was there to comfort me, love me, and keep me safe.

Of course at the time I was the only one who felt anything, it took him a while.

Even to this day, it confuses me if he really does feel the same way, or is only using me as an escape goat whenever he has a fight with his long term girlfriend, Ella.

She was gorgeous, a little bit shorter than Daniel, and a little bit taller than me, she had long flowing dirty blonde hair.

Perfect tan, body proportion on point always, even in the winter time.

She was everything that Daniel wanted, yet he chooses me from time to time, which I've learned to stop questioning, it's easier to forget and be in the moment, than to face reality so quickly.








~








"What?!" My other best friend, Corbyn, exclaimed as he stood on the other side of my kitchen island staring at me like I was purely insane.

Which I wasn’t, well not yet.

"They had a fight! What was I supposed to do? Just kick him out when he was shit-faced?" I argued as we now stood in the middle of my house arguing as I explained to him what happened last night.

"Yes, Agnes!”

“You are too much!” I exclaimed thankful that my parents were on one of their infamous trips that led them to not be here for a few days, or months, I forgot which.

“No I’m not. You're supposed to leave him to fend for himself." He said with much annoyance, "You can't keep letting him cling onto you when he needs help. It's not healthy for you or for him!" he threw his arms up in effect to help me see his frustration and the steam practically coming out of his ears.

"I know that it's not healthy, but what am I supposed to do?!" I sat on the couch with a huff.

“I don’t know how to move on. Leave him to learn his lesson. That's what his parents do.” He exclaimed.

“I am not heartless to do that,” I muttered.

“It’s not being heartless. It's doing what right, tough love if you will,” He reasoned.

“I just can’t-” I started then lost my train of thought and quickly gave up and zipped my lips.

“Were you ever planning on telling Ella, about your guy’s little escapades?” he asked.

“No. She would flip out,” I muttered.

“It’s been forever since you guys have started this, and she knew. Now that they’re together, isn’t that better than keeping her, and I mean only her in the dark.”

He was right, she saw that Daniel and I were close as kids, but she made it heartbreakingly clear that she liked him so whatever this was that we had, was better left in the dark to save herself.

“I can’t hurt her.” I said truthfully, “This is more than just about Daniel and I, but respect for her as my old friend.”

“Isn’t that too late, though?” He asked before pausing and licking his lips, “I mean, you're already hurting her because you know, and we know that she isn’t the only one he loves.”

“I don’t want to hurt her. I didn’t want to fall for him, but I did and I’m here,” i said pointing to me being on my couch on a Saturday afternoon, in my pajamas, my hair in a messy bun, and wearing fuzzy bunny slippers even if it is 100 degrees outside.

"Listen as your best friend, this is all I have to say. Stop enabling him. And stop falling for his games. He’s my friend too, but we know him and what he does. You'll end up hurt again if you keep expecting him to love you even if her can’t." He softly rubbed my arms before making his way towards the front door, and showed himself out.

I was left to my own thoughts as he left.

Corbyn and I are probably the closest in our little group. He was the one who I could always run to with things like this, he was always there for me, especially when I had issues with Daniel. Or rather when we started this whole mess.

We had, in total, around eight close friends. Jonah, Jack, Zach, Christina, Corbyn, Daniel, and I. Daniel, Jonah, Corbyn, and I grew up together, our parents were all best friends in high school, and eventually became business partners.

We met Zach in elementary school when he transferred in from Texas. Jack we met in elementary school as well, after he got hit with a baseball that Jonah hit. Christina was one of my friends in middle school when we joined the cheer team, and eventually became Corbyn's girlfriend. Though I quit mid way last year as I injured myself.

Daniel, full name is Daniel Moran, was the playboy type, as you see, he had light brown hair that he dyed black, the blonde, then black again, which is an odd, but eye pleasing mix. He was quite tall standing at 5’8, quite muscular, and emitted the aura of a confident soccer player, which he was.

Corbyn Hudson was the fake blonde of the group, who was also quite tall being 5’9. He was a massive nerd who loved space and time, but was also interested in swimming, thus he was the co-captain of our swim team.

Another addition to our little bundle was Zach was our little texan, he hailed from a multinational family as he was from the Olivero family, who was famous in our town for making the best wine. His mother was half korean, and half filipino, while his dad was half Italian, and a half mixture of white.

And Christina was my first friend that was a girl, since forever, we usually argued about almost everything, but were always there for each other, back then. She had long flowing brown-auburn ish hair that we all decided to change out hair into during the last leg of middle school. She kept it since she thought it suited her, which it did. She eventually became the co-captain and became more popular.

We also grew up with two other girls Addison and Ella. Addison was a jet black haired girl, quite tall, 5’7, athletic as hell.

Ella on the other hand was the complete opposite, she had natural blonde hair, long as it can be, the shortest out of all of us standing at 5’4. But we eventually grew apart.

The others and I have all been attached to the hip ever since. Since our families were on the richer side, we were blessed enough to go to one of the most elite schools in all of California, Isla Preparatory Academy. It wasn't bad I guess, a lot of preppy bull-crap, but not enough to really complain, yet.


I shrugged off my thoughts and laid in bed, slowly falling asleep with a certain faded blonde in my head.