Chapter 1. The Party
Serenity Rose Lightheart gets invited to a party specifically by name from an unknown sender. The invitation had the address, time, and stated that she is to dress NICE. Serenity set the invitation down on her blackwood kitchen table and went to her room to look for a nice dress to wear to the party when she came across a black-lace dress with blue accents, then chose her black heels to go with it, then she found a pair of black bat earrings and skull studs then she went to bed setting her bat alarm clock for 7am since the party was tomorrow.0
The next morning serenity woke up to the sound of her bat alarm clock and went to the kitchen for some breakfast. She had hashbrowns on the extra crispy side, scrambled eggs, and a cup of orange juice. She decided she wanted to go shopping so she showered and put on black jeans, a shirt that said 'bite me' and black converse, then she hopped in her car and headed to the mall. At the mall she bought a couple thongs, a pair of jet black heels with grey cobwebs, cobweb earrings, and small studs that said 'bite' on one stud and 'me' on the other stud. She went back home around 3' and started getting ready for the party which would begin at 5'. She changed out of her t-shirt and jeans and slipped into her black-lace dress with blue accents and put on her new heels along with a thong and the cobweb earrings. She let her waist length jet black curly hair flow untouched then put on blood red lipstick against her pale pink lips with black and blue eyeshadow and black mascara. She looked at herself in her full size mirror one last time then headed over to the party in the next town over. As she approached the address, she couldn't help but be memorized by the mansion ahead. She noticed a metal box on a short pole as a voice asked for her name, "your name please" said a woman's voice. "My name is Serenity Rose Lightheart and I was invited to a party at this address" she answered with sincerity. Then the wraught iron gates opened for her to come in. She drove in and parked her car before walking up to the front doors. She knocked loudly and suddenly she was greeted by a woman. "Hello, I'm ----" she began to say as the woman cut her off and finishing the sentence "Serenity Lightheart, what a pleasure to see you darling, come in please" the woman said cheerfully as serenity entered the mansion. "I'm Lucindya Bridgestone, so nice to finally meet you after all these years" Lucindya said cheerfully. "The party will be starting soon and I can't wait for you to meet my son and husband" she said extra cheerfully. The party started at 5' and quite a few people showed up dressed in suits and formal dresses and walked into a large room with a bar and snack bar that soon turned into a dinner buffet. Serenity followed the people to the large room when she caught a glimpse of a very handsome looking young man staring in her direction as she sat down on a charcoal black couch.
Hi everyone this is my first time writing on here and here's something that came to mind from the blue.... I'll update whenever I can.
What happens after the hound man walks over to serenity? Wait and see what happens.
And I didn't draw the pic, anyone can find it on Google.
Hi, you write well, with good quality grammar and punctuation. The beginning of this chapter drags a little, with the description of clothes, then breakfast, then shopping, then bed... Our advise is get to the action. Start out with her looking at her invitation, then walking in and make something interesting/shocking/unexpected happen at the end of the chapter. One way to do this would be to build up the tension between the man and herself. Have her see him, note he is handsome, then a few minutes later she could pick up his stares. She looks away, looks back, he is still staring. He stands abruptly, and starts walking at pace, straight towards her. End of chapter.