Why did it have to be you?

Why did it have to be you?

I can still remember that fateful day. The day your family moved in next door to mine. I watched anxiously as the moving trucks and the minivan ushered you into my life.

Why did it have to be you?

I wanted so bad for you to be a boy my age. A boy I could play with. A boy to call my best friend.

Why did it have to be you?

My heart sank when I saw you exit that minivan. That young girl wearing blue jean shorts and a white American flag t-shirt. That young girl who was nervous about moving to a new neighborhood. I didn’t want a girl as a friend. A girl who plays with dolls, wears makeup, or plays house. I close the curtain feeling the loneliness return.

Why did it have to be you?

Our families instantly became close and I ended up getting stuck with you. The girl I had nothing in common with. Why couldn’t you have been a boy?

Why did it have to be you?

As the years went by we both started to change. You grew up faster, taller, and much tougher than me. You loved horror movies, video games, and sports. You made friends so easily, while most of the people didn’t even know I spoke.

Why did it have to be you?

You were the girl with everything this boy wished he had. I was so jealous of you, god it made me so mad. If I was picked on or bullied you were the one who would step up to take my side, to fight my fight. This only made things worse. I am the guy, I should be protecting you.

Why did it have to be you?

We eventually grew into our own person, and started hanging with different crowds. We didn’t talk much in school, we were pretty much strangers. But once we were at our homes there was nothing we didn’t share with each other. We talked about school, our other friends, even the relationships we were in. You hated all the bitches I dated, and all the guys you dated were assholes. Even though I never admitted it, you were my best friend.

I am so glad it was you.

I am not really sure when it happened, I am thinking maybe senior year. We both got accepted to different colleges in different states. This was going to be the first time in many many years you wouldn’t be next door to me. My heart began to hurt knowing you wouldn’t be there. Would we still talk to each other? Or would we lose touch altogether? Would I get to see you on holidays or between semesters?

I am going to miss you.

Again the years passed and we kept in touch. I got to see you on those holidays and even between the semesters. My excitement overflowed every time I would get to see you. Then my heart would ache every time I had to leave you. No other females could enter my mind, or even my heart. I felt so empty. That’s when I knew,

It had to be you.

I plotted and planned just how I was going to tell you. You’re my best friend and that will always be. I couldn’t live with just that, I wanted so much more. I wanted to be the man who you tell your feelings and troubles too. I wanted to be the man who held you when you cried. I wanted to be the man you come home too. I wanted to be that man who kisses you in the morning and when you fall asleep. I wanted to be the man who was always by your side. I just wanted to tell you how I truly feel inside. There has only been one true love in my life.

It has always been you.

Then that fateful day came bringing me back to you once again. I’m finally going to do it. I am finally going to tell you how I feel. It can’t wait any longer. My nervousness rises the closer I get to home. Will me telling you how I feel change things with us? Do you feel the same? I don’t know if I could take your rejection. I close my eyes and pray that I won’t lose you by admitting my feelings to you.

I am in love with you.

My eyes open again to see that the light has turned green. Only one more block till I turn on to our street. Will you already be at my house awaiting my arrival? I can already picture your beautiful face lighting up with a smile. I can already feel your arms around me as you hug me once again. I smile and pull forward...

(CRASH)

At his funeral, it was solemn and grim. It was my turn to say one last thing before letting you go. I slowly make my way up to the casket. My body is shaking the tears were flowing down my cheeks. It can’t be real, it can’t be you in that casket. This is just going to be a bad dream and I am going to wake up at any minute. You were always such a careful driver. If something like this would happen, it would happen to me.

Why did it have to be you?

Why did you have to leave me; why now? I finally built up the courage to tell you just how I feel. I didn’t care if it messed up our friendship or made things different between us. I didn’t care if you didn’t feel the same way. I was going to tell you just how I felt. How could they take you away from me?

Why did it have to be you?