Head-canons 1-11
Stephan: We must prevent Thanos from destroying the universe.
Peter: ...?
Tony: *sigh* ...We have to snatch Thanos’s weave and yet him outta existence, kid.
Shuri: *applauds in the distance*
Stephan: ...
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Meanwhile in the soul stone:
Bucky: I gotta get back to Steve and help him.
T’challa: I need to make sure my people are safe.
Groot: I am Groot.
Strange: I hope Tony can pull this off.
Peter: I literally did all my homework for nothing last night.
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Loki: Stark! I need to borrow your 3D printer.
Tony: Whatever for?
Loki: I plan to trick my brother into thinking I’m worthy of ruling Asgard.
Tony: And your asking permission to use a 3D printer?
Loki: Well, I’m actually just giving you a warning so you’ve got time to set up cameras so we can stream it.
Tony: You know what? I’m on board
Tony: So what are we 3D printing?
Loki: Mjolnir.
Tony: I’ll get Pete to hide the real one.
Loki: What an excellent idea.
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*Clint at his farm, sees the Avengers and Thanos fighting in the distance*
Clint: Nah
*Takes out his hearing aid and locks his front door.*
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Tony: Everybody seems to be having a midlife crisis at 16.
Peter: Since I don’t know which part of my life is in the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.
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Nat: Have you all seen Thor’s braids
Steve: Yeah they’re pretty
Carol: Cute
Thor: Thank you guys
Nat: You’re going to be so surprised when you learn who did them
Carol: Oh? Who
Bruce: Me!
Carol: Oh cute
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Thanos: I finally restored everything and brought balance to the universe. There is not a single person who can stand in my-
[Ground starts shaking, an army of undead zombies come barrelling in, “Ride of the Valkyries” is heard in the distance, Fenris the wolf is seen carrying Hela on his back.]
Hela: [Lights a cigarette] Alright little brother, who was it that hurt you?
Loki: [peeking over behind Hela’s cape and points to Thanos]
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Peter: *coming home 11.5 minutes past curfew*
May I’m home!
Tony: *a dramatic dad sitting in the dark* Hi home I’m diSaPPOINTED.
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Nat: What are you doing?
Bucky: [digging though a jar of M&M’S and putting some in a separate bowl] Sam really likes the green ones, so I’m separating them.
Nat: Aw, that’s so sweet!
Bucky: What? No. I plan to eat them in front of him and then run.
Loki : *grabbing Peter by the back of his neck in the Spider suit like a puppy* Who is this? He wasn’t with you guys when I attacked you before?
*Irondad panic button going off in the background*
Peter: Hi, I’m new. Nice to meet you.
*Tony waking up in the middle of the night to see Peter an inch from his face*
Peter: So we had this id- stop screaming- so we had this idea
Tony: what the Who’s we?
Shuri: *Directly beside his face* We had this idea
Tony: Christ there’s two of them
*This chapter had so many Tony and Peter ones but I’m just using the ones that come up on my page first*
