GRIEF STRICKEN SOUL

I repeat, I wasn’t always like this. I repeat, I was in love!

I defined my heart as a hollow muscular organ that pumps the blood through the circulatory system by rhythmic contraction and dilation. I had no knowledge that my heart and soul could link interactively to attract love of the same energy, and that time and space does not hinder communication from both hearts. This prompted our hearts to link interactively to our souls and join electrically through a term called, frequency.

At that past ecstatic moment, I experienced my first phase of love with my so-called Mr. Right. I then realized from that past peril moment that this, was called love. I honoured and praised the term called Love, as I was loved so dearly. In my own understanding, love was an intense feeling of deep affection towards someone of delight, and to have great interest and pleasure towards that special someone.

At this present moment, I now discern the reason why my heart took time to mend. It suffered from great tremendous pain and sorrow, caused by my vicious special someone. This pain went through my emotions to my heart, from my heart to my soul. This resulted to a grief - stricken soul, an intense sorrow that was caused by an undesirable event of a mutual feeling, that eventually affected me physically and emotionally.

I was a grief-Stricken soul. My soul was heart-broken like a broken glass lacking maintenance. I was no use. I defined my heart as a dying rose, roses were not red, and clearly skies were not blue. Only darkness and hatred surrounded my misery. I repeat, I wasn’t always like this. I repeat, I was in love! I called myself a grief-stricken soul. I was lacking what was once said to be endless cursed love.

At this present moment, I think love manipulated my heart and made me a fool. Love made me to have a perception of trust, care, kindness, support and most importantly, honesty, towards the demonic one I so deeply loved.

The first few months were bliss with unrated happiness and love. To me, it felt like I was the queen of his kingdom. I needed no one but him. School was not my priority anymore but him. My friends were not my utmost priority anymore but him. I thought my life revolved around him. He made my heart to manipulate my thoughts to believe on his fairy-tale love that has no risks and lies.

The evil boy tempted my heart and made me one of his daily free cookies. I repeat, I wasn’t always like this. I repeat, I was in love. To speak the truth, his demonic love made me to forget about pain, stress and poverty. I knew the definition of love from its core to its edges. I know, you probably feeling sorry for me right now, but, I was loved, and it felt good. I know, it is amusing but surprising, I felt the dishonourable love physically and emotionally.

His love made me a woman around women. My thoughts drifted, and I could hear his voice whispering inside my ears. His name was a tune inside my heard, Mr. Vee, it continued like a melody from my ears to my thoughts. Before I realized it, I was daydreaming about him in class and my friends thought I was sick in the head, but I knew, he was my medicine through the months of cold season. He kept me warm from the freezing weather and gave me pleasure in times of need. Suddenly, I could define love with fondness filled inside out. I would define love with pride and say, and I repeat, love is an intense feeling of deep affection, tenderness, warmth and intimacy. But sadly, that changed to an island filled with polluted water, at the end, I defined love as hell on Earth, but at the beginning, it felt like paradise on Earth or should I say heaven on Earth.

A queen I was to him. Only thing missing was a palace meant for me and him, with his music playing on the background. I believed our love was biblical. I repeat, I wasn’t always like this. I repeat, I was in love. I felt like Adam and Eve, without knowledge, the evil snake was present. It soon felt like the island was being swallowed by the dip sea and the sun was blazing its powerful force to our unholy land and making our endless cursed love to disappear within thin air.

What I asked myself shocked me, as I sat alone in my room thinking of ending my miserable soul in flesh and blood. I thought about the good I’ll be neglecting but the pain took over like a night raider or should I say like a Polo driver. Then I asked myself a question with grief, what is love? What is the purpose of love? A question popped out unanswered. I repeat, I wasn’t always like this. I repeat, I was in love