Great!

"I have to say, I usually don't read stories like these (ironically since the story I'm writing is a fantasy novel). I'm a pretty strict Stephen King style book reader, horror is my jam and if not horror then I like romances; so I don't know if I have much to comment about how this book compares to other fantasy novels since my experience reading this genre is the Twilight books. I did like the plot though, albeit it is a bit complicated at times; it reminds me a bit of "It" in that sense that there is a lot going on, which some people might not like but I really enjoy.. I think the characters are well developed, although my criticism with that would be there are a LOT of characters. Like Game of Thrones level a lot of characters to the point where I have a really hard time keeping track of who is who and what they're doing because there's just a lot. I think perhaps taking out some characters that aren't as crucial to the story might be helpful? Story plots to me are like a river, you don't want to just have a straight river down the center with no current and no danger (cause what fun would that be?), but you also don't want raging rapids with thousands of twists and turns that the story is complete chaos. I'm not sure if that is a good analogy, but I think you know what I mean. Although, a lot of people like stories like this (Game of Thrones is one of the most popular book/TV franchises in history after all), so take this with a grain of salt I guess. There were a few moments in the story where you used past tense verbs instead of present tense, but not enough for it to be a recurring problem (so just look out for that when you edit). I couldn't find any spelling or grammar mistakes that were obvious, but a great way to check for those (since the human brain will correct them automatically without actively noticing them) is to use Grammarly, since the computer won't have that same human error we do. The basic version (which is free) should be enough to find the small mistakes with commas and spelling, but the premium version helps with passive voice and eliminating overused words (which I've been finding super helpful in my editing process, so figured I'd share with you) All in all, I think as you've said this novel has already proven to be a success and so I think you have a lot to be proud of! I'll be happy to see this on New York Time's Bestseller one day or on the center table of a Barnes and Noble! Good luck and keep writing!"