A Christmas-y Christmas in Christmas-Town
A Christmas-y Christmas in Christmas-Town
By Ryan E. Peterson, Esq.
It was a beautiful and Christmas-y day in New York City. The date was December 5th, and already the streets were bustling with Christmas tree lighting ceremonies, craft fairs, Christmas tree lighting fairs, Christmas craft ceremonies, taffy-pulling exhibitions, hot cocoa vendors, carolers, festive hobos, police officers punching out drunk guys in cheap Santa suits, pipers piping, swans-a-swimming, maids-a-milking, and a partridge in a pear tree. It was the type of perfect Christmas day that could only happen in the magical land of New York City, where a light snow always seemed to be falling everywhere you went. All was right with the world.
Except for Mindy Tinselton.
Mindy had everything going for her, or so she thought. Just six months ago, she had landed her dream job at an architecture/publishing/law firm, as an architect/editor/attorney. They were long hours at the firm, and she had little time in the evenings to pursue her passion as an amateur violinist/painter/travel blogger, while also singing lead vocals in her death metal band, Terror-rantula, on the weekends.
But just when all of her big plans had fallen into place, fate had knocked her upside the head and back to reality, just like a midnight mugger with a claw hammer. Her boyfriend of the last two years, Roger Corningstone, had abruptly broken off their engagement. He had accepted a position as an underwater yoga instructor in Cyprus, and just like that, their relationship of 745 days was in shambles. His passion for his work had always come first, but Mindy didn’t think that it would mean the end of their love.
Mindy was a mess for weeks. Finally, she had found the strength to pull herself back together, like the scraps of hair strewn across a barbershop swept back into one wooly mess. Without Roger, she threw herself into her work, putting in long hours and shutting out the world. Protecting herself and her heart… ready to never love… again.
On this sunny yet somehow also snowy day in New York, Mindy arrived at her office on 5th Avenue 15 minutes early, as she always did. She glanced in the mirror before stepping into the elevator. She brushed a few strands of her chestnut-colored hair away from her face, checking her makeup one last time before stepping into the office. She was pretty, but not like, “Hollywood” pretty. I mean, she wasn’t going to show up in an actual movie released in theaters or something, but definitely pretty enough to play the best friend role in a movie on Lifetime or something like that.
Before she could even say hello to her sassy Latina friend at the front desk, Carmen Guadalupe Navidad de las Palmas Gonzales Rodriguez, her boss Harry Harriman called her into his office.
“Let’s get down to business, Mindy,” he said as he settled into his chair. “I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I think that Big Promotion… should go to you.”
Mindy didn’t know what to say. “I don’t know what to say,” she said, not knowing what to say. “I’ve only been here six months, and there are other architect/editor/attorneys who have been here for much longer than me!”
“Irrelevant,” Mr. Harriman replied in an effort to move the plot along speedily. “You’re a hard worker, and you always get the job done. But the Big Promotion isn’t all fun and games, it will be the end of your social life. You’ll have to say goodbye to weekends with your death metal bandmates.”
Mindy sighed. “The Big Promotion? Really? I just don’t know, sir. I’m honored, but I’ll have to give it some thought.”
Her boss seemed taken aback. “Are you sure? I thought you would be thrilled. Oh well, I understand you need some time to decide. I suppose I should impose some arbitrary deadline to heighten the sense of drama. You have until midnight on Christmas Eve to make your decision. And not a moment later!”
Mindy sighed, but smiled slightly. “Thank you, sir, that’s oddly very precise, but I appreciate your patience.” She excused herself and stepped out into the hallway.
Her friend Carmen spotted her from the front desk. “Girrrrll, you look like you just saw the Ghost of Christmas Future? You OK?”
Mindy was a bit wobbly as she walked over to the reception desk. She spoke in a hushed tone. “Mr. Harriman just offered me the Big Promotion!”
“The Big Promotion? Really?”
“I know. It’s quite a shock.”
“Well, of course you’re going to take it,” Carmen continued.
Mindy pursed her lips. “I told him I’d need to think about it.”
“You said what?!” Carmen nearly fell out of her chair. “But you’ve been talking about the Big Promotion for weeks.”
“I know, but I’m just not sure if I’m ready for the commitment.”
“Girl, please! I know you just work all day and then go home to your sad little apartment and microwave a Kraft single on top of some Wheat Thins and call them nachos. It’s nasty.”
“Harsh,” Mindy scowled, “but fair.”
“Hey, I’m just trying to paint a picture of your life for the reader.”
Mindy opened her mouth to reply when one of her coworkers called out to her. “Mindy, you have a call on line one. It’s your mother!” Mindy sighed. Could this day get any crazier?
It could.
Thirty minutes later, Mindy was standing back at Carmen’s desk, explaining her predicament.
“Let me get this straight,” Carmen said sassily. “So your parents run a bed-and-breakfast in your hometown? And they are in charge of this year’s tree lighting ceremony? And the annual dinner at the homeless shelter? And your father just broke both his legs in a freak luging accident in his Senior Luge League? And now your mother needs your help to pull everything together?!”
Mindy nodded sadly. “That’s about right.”
“Unbelievable! And you mean to tell me that your hometown is named ‘Christmas-Town?’ And your last name is ‘Tinselton?’”
“Yup,” Mindy replied. “Pretty on the nose, isn’t it?”
“What are you going to do?”
“I told Mr. Harriman I’ll need to take the next few weeks off. He’s an amateur luger, himself, so he understood.”
Carmen nodded. “Well, maybe this will give you some time to think over the Big Promotion. And maybe remember the magic of the holiday season?”
Mindy shook her head. “I don’t think so, Carmen. I guess I’m just not in much of a Christmas-y mood this year. And I don’t see how anything could change that,” she said foreshadowing-ly.
Christmas-Town was named for one of its founders, Arthur T. Christmas. He was by all accounts a miserable and horrible misanthrope, but his surname had a nice ring to it, so they named the town after him anyway. Mindy could have driven or flown to her hometown, but opted to take a train instead, since that’s the type of dreamy, romantic atmosphere that the author is trying to create here.
Mindy looked cute as she wore a cute beret and matching scarf, looking out the window as they pulled into the Christmas-Town station. The train had arrived at the station just after dusk, as all the colored lights were coming on around the town. Mindy gasped. There were more blinking lights than the control panels of a submarine that had just been hit by a torpedo. But unlike a naval warfare catastrophe, this view was beautiful and even a bit exciting. Even as the jaded “big city girl” that she was, Mindy couldn’t help but look forward to a few weeks back in her hometown.
Her mother was there to meet her at the station.
“Mindy!” she cried, as she threw her arms around her. “Oh, it’s so good to see you!”
“Good to see you too, Mom,” Mindy said, smiling as she held on to the embrace from her mother. “How’s Dad?”
Her mother’s smile faded. “Oh, he’s seen better days. The doctors did a good job though. When they found him, both of his knees were folded forward so that his toes were poking him in the ribs. They said it was the most extreme case of Human Flamingo-Leg Syndrome they had ever seen.”
“Oh no!”
“It will be alright. The doctors said he’ll make a full recovery, and be back luging by next season. But he’s been driving me crazy in the meantime.”
“Well,” Mindy said with a faint smile. “I hope I can provide some help.”
Mindy and her mother caught up as they walked through the town square. There were beautiful sights and sounds all around her, as well as the smells of crackling fires, steaming hot cocoa, roasted chestnuts, toasted marshmallows, fresh dog doo-doo left out in the snow, and gingerbread cookies. And all those smells were absolutely delicious to her, save for the second-to-last one. Mindy smiled to herself. Maybe this was just what she needed to clear her head, and forget about the heartache and headache caused by her hot yoga instructor ex-boyfriend Roger.
Mindy stayed up late into the evening talking with her parents and her younger sister and brother-in-law. Those last two characters really aren’t all that important and only show up in a few scenes. She slept late into the morning. Then she got up, got dressed (looking remarkably put together considering she just woke up), and headed toward the town square for a cup of coffee.
A fresh layer of snow dusted the sidewalks, and Mindy tucked her hands in her pockets as she rushed over to the coffee shop. When she opened the door, she was met with the delicious smells of freshly-brewed coffee and freshly-baked pastries. All the employees were wearing tiny little red-and-green elf hats, and the whole scene was impossibly adorable and Christmas-y.
She placed her order at the counter, waited a moment, then took her coffee and turned to find a table in the packed coffee house.
Mindy hadn’t been watching where she was going, and accidentally spilled her short caramel macchiato right onto a tall drink of water named Dirk. The coffee ran down the front of the man’s parka.
“Cruddy candy canes!” Mindy exclaimed. “I’m so sorry!” She reached back to the counter to grab a stack of napkins, and awkwardly tried to dry off the front of the man’s parka.
He laughed it off. “Don’t worry about it, really! I’m sure the coffee will keep me warm when I’m back out on the streets.”
Mindy stopped what she was doing and looked up at the stranger she had doused in scalding hot coffee. He was tall, with dark hair and stubble, with piercing blue eyes and a dazzling smile. No doubt about it, this guy was straight-up 100% beefcake.
“Um… I’m Mindy,” she said sheepishly. “Mindy Tinselton.”
“I’m Dirk,” said Dirk. “Dirk Hotbod.”
Mindy smiled, brushing her auburn hair back behind her ears.
“Tinselton, huh?” Dirk continued. “No doubt related to Buddy and Beatrice Tinselton.”
“That’s right,” Mindy said. “They’re my parents.”
Dirk winced. “I heard about your dad’s Human Flamingo-Leg Syndrome. How’s he doing?”
“Alright, I suppose. He’s got my mother waiting on him hand and foot. She barely has enough time for the annual Christmas tree lighting and homeless shelter dinner. That’s why I’m here, to help out.”
“That’s really great of you. My company is actually helping to sponsor the Christmas tree lighting ceremony.”
Mindy perked up. “Really? What company?”
“Hotbod Enterprises. It’s a carpentry/veterinarian/single dad support center. I’ll be building the scaffolding for the tree in the town square. So it sounds like I’ll be working for you.”
Mindy blushed. “Well, in that case, you better get that scaffolding going, if you don’t want me to throw any more coffee on you.” She chuckled. It was a lame joke, but she was cute, and Dirk was handsome, so neither of them needed to be particularly witty.
Dirk laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind. Well, I guess I’ll be seeing you around. And I’ll be sure to bring a poncho next time.”
Mindy smiled. “Sounds like a plan. Until we meet again, Mr. Hotbod.”
“Truly a pleasure, Ms. Tinselton.”
Mindy and Dirk’s paths crossed again later that evening. Mindy was surveying the Christmas tree that had been selected for the lighting ceremony in the town square, and supervising the flamethrower technicians she had hired to blast the remaining birds and woodland creatures out of tree that had once been their home.
“Hey boss,” Dirk said. Mindy spun around to see him walking up to her across the town square. He was wearing jeans and a plaid shirt under his wool coat, and looked like the Brawny guy on the paper towel roll package. Who was the most handsome of all company mascots (except for maybe Mr. Clean), in Mindy’s opinion.
Mindy was awoken from her paper-towel-man fantasy when she saw a young girl walking alongside Dirk. “Hello, Ms. Tinselton.”
Mindy knelt down and smiled. Even though she was a workaholic who lived in a tiny apartment in Manhattan, she adored and instinctively related to children for some reason. “Oh, hello, what’s your name?”
“My name’s Noelle.” She tugged on Dirk’s shirtsleeve. “I’m his precocious daughter.”
“Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Noelle. Are you excited for Christmas this year?”
“I sure am,” Noelle said sunnily. “I’m going to ask Santa for the 11th edition of Black’s Law Dictionary!”
“Oh, that’s exciting!” Mindy replied. “Do you want to be a lawyer?”
“I think so,” Noelle replied, making that cute scrunched-up face thing that little kids do. “Either that or a book editor or an architect.”
“Or maybe all three!” Mindy said with a knowing smile. “That’s what I do in Manhattan.”
“Oh wow! Do you love what you do?”
Mindy’s smile faded. She looked off in the distance dramatically, gazing at the small town charm on display all around her. “I thought so, Noelle, but sometimes… I’m not so sure.”
“Well, maybe you should write Santa a letter to ask for his help,” Noelle said in a precocious but also adorable manner. “Magical things can happen at Christmas-time, especially in Christmas-Town!”
Mindy smiled. “Maybe you’re right, Noelle. Say, I think they’re giving away gingerbread cookies over at the tree. Why don’t you go grab one?”
“Yippee!”
Noelle sprinted toward the tree, bowling over an old lady on the way like a Heisman Trophy candidate running back. Mindy and Dirk watched contentedly as the poor old woman lay motionless in the snow.
“She seems like a handful,” Mindy chuckled.
“She sure is,” Dirk replied. “Just like her mother.”
Mindy watched Dirk out of the corner of her eye. “Oh! Is her mother back at home?”
“No,” Dirk said. “She passed away a few years ago, in a tragic crocodile attack when we visited Egypt.”
“Oh no, that’s terrible,” Mindy said sadly. At least that’s what she said on the outside, but on the inside, she was like, “Yessssssssssss!”
“She’s handled it pretty well,” Dirk went on. “But she could use a mother in her life. There’s only so much a handsome, successful carpenter/veterinarian/ social worker can teach his daughter.”
Mindy patted him on the arm. “I’m sure you’re doing a great job. She seems like a wonderful girl.” And she meant it, but she also wanted an excuse to touch that man’s forearm, and it felt like it was made out of granite. Nice!
If this were a movie, this would be the part of the film where you would watch a montage of Christmas scenes, with Mindy and Dirk getting closer together. But seeing as this is a book and not a movie, the author will have to get creative with the montage imagery.
So first there’s a scene of Dirk and Mindy talking over some planning stuff. He’s wearing a hard hat and looking rugged, and she’s got some blueprints for some reason. Maybe we’ll splice in some scenes of Mindy laughing with her family and drinking cocoa. Imagine there’s some upbeat music with lots of sleigh bells so you know that Mindy is rediscovering her passion for Christmas.
And let’s not forget dear adorable Noelle. There’s a scene of Noelle and Mindy making paper ornaments. Maybe they’re cutting out snowflakes, and Noelle holds hers up, and it looks beautiful. But then Mindy holds hers up and it looks like crap, and they have a good laugh over it.
Back to Mindy and Dirk. They’re having dinner and looking into each other’s eyes, and it’s all super-romantic. But then Mindy glances at her phone. It’s a text from Carmen, asking her if she’s made her decision about the Big Promotion. Mindy looks conflicted.
OK, end of montage. The music dies down, and it’s the day of the big Christmas tree lighting ceremony. Mindy has organized a party at her parents’ house as a thank you to all of the workers that made the event a success. It seems odd to have the party before the event has even taken place, but it works for plot purposes, so here we go.
“I’m so glad you were all able to make it,” Mindy said to some unnamed workers. “Please help yourselves to some of the fudge. It’s my mom’s secret recipe!”
Mindy walked into the kitchen, and happened to find Dirk waiting for her. He was looking fine as always. Like a statue of a Greek god that had come to life and put on some Wranglers and a flannel shirt. He handed her a glass of hot chocolate.
“Cheers!”
“Thanks!” Mindy replied, accepting it happily with both hands.
“Thank you,” Dirk replied, “for this amazing party. You’ve really pulled out all the stops. Love the indoor rock climbing course and eggnog dunk tank.”
Mindy smiled, sipping her cocoa. “It’s the least I could do. You all have done so much. And you really saved the pancake breakfast at the homeless shelter with the 300 pounds of bacon you brought in.”
“Yeah, I thought I’d try my hand at butchering. It turned out alright. Although the squeals of those pigs,” his voice trailed off as he gazed into the distance, “they’ll haunt me for years to come.”
They stood quietly for a moment, until Dirk broke the silence by changing the subject. “You have a knack for party planning in Christmas-Town. Maybe you could… stick around for a while.”
Mindy’s eyes widened, and she was at a loss for words.
“Of course,” Dirk continued, “I know you have the Big Promotion to think about as well. It’s everything you’ve been working toward. At least, I think it is, seems like that was something we discussed during the montage earlier.”
“I know,” Mindy said softly. She looked up into his smoldering eyes, and felt week in the knees, not unlike her father, who was of course a recent victim of Human Flamingo-Leg Syndrome.
Dirk shifted uncomfortably. Finally, he opened his mouth to speak. “Mindy, there’s something I have to tell you…”
But before he could say another word, there was a clamor near the entrance to the kitchen. Mindy’s mom came around the corner, out of breath. “Mindy,” she exclaimed. “You won’t believe who just arrived.” She pointed to the door. “Roger Corningstone!”
Mindy gasped as her ex-fiance walked into the room. “Roger! What are you doing here?!”
Roger was looking as handsome as ever. He was tall, toned, and tanned, no doubt from the last six months as an underwater yoga instructor in Cyprus. He was wearing swim trunks and a Hawaiian shirt, with swim goggles draped around his neck.
“Mindy! It’s so great to see you!” He fumbled for words. “Mindy, I made a mistake. Choosing underwater yoga over you was the greatest mistake of my life. But there I was, 20 feet down in the middle of downward dog, and then it hit me. You and I are meant to be together. So I surfaced, swam back to the mainland, and went straight to the airport. That was ten days ago. I spent a week in ICE detention since I didn’t bring my passport or any form of identification, but here I am.”
Mindy was too shocked to speak.
“Mindy,” Roger continued, “I’m just a man, standing here in his swimsuit, asking a woman to love him.”
“Roger!” Mindy stammered, “I… I don’t know what to say.”
She glanced at Dirk, who looked unsure of himself. Then she looked back at Roger.
“Mindy, I love you, and I think you love me too.”
Dirk slammed his mug of hot cocoa onto the table, which would have looked really manly and severe if it hadn’t been a mug shaped like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’s head. Regardless, he turned and stormed out of the kitchen.
Mindy focused her attention on Roger. “Roger, I’m flattered. But you and I, were from two different worlds. You, you’re meant to live under the sea, and me, I’m meant to live on land. Like a normal person.”
Roger looked deflated, awkwardly playing with his puka shell necklace.
Mindy continued. “I realize now it would have never worked between us. Your true love is the sea. I’m sorry, but I… I don’t love you anymore.”
“Huh?” Roger said. “That’s a real bummer.” He looked around. “Listen, I haven’t eaten in three days. Would it be cool if I just hung around and got a bite to eat? Maybe took a turn in the eggnog dunk tank?”
Mindy smiled and patted him on the shoulder. “Knock yourself out. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have something I have to do.”
Mindy pushed past her handsome suitor. She found her mother. “Do you know where Dirk is?”
“I’m not sure,” her mother replied. “But we better wrap this party up soon. The tree lighting is in thirty minutes. Maybe that’s where Dirk is?”
Mindy nodded. She put on her parka and stepped out into the front yard. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone, dialing the number for her boss, Mr. Harriman.
“Hello?”
“Hello, sir, this is Mindy.”
“Mindy! Merry Christmas! I take it you’ve made your decision about the Big Promotion?”
“Yes, sir, I believe I have.”
“Well?”
Mindy sighed. “I can’t accept it. I’m sorry, but it’s just not what I’m looking for in my life right now. I thought it was, but… then I found something more.”
“Wow,” she heard her boss say on the other end of the line. “Sounds like you went through quite a journey of spiritual self-discovery over the last few weeks. Would you say that you also found love, and a renewed passion for the Christmas holiday?”
Mindy blushed. “I suppose you could say that, sir. Also, I might be quitting, but we’ll see how this whole unrequited love thing works out. Hold that thought.”
Mindy hung up before her boss could say another word. She took a deep breath, glancing backward to take one last look at her childhood home, the bright Christmas lights reflecting off the freshly-fallen snow. She knew what she had to do.
Mindy Tinselton ran to the town square. Running wasn’t really necessary, but it seemed to add some heightened tension to the scene.
Out of breath, she found herself among throngs of people waiting for the Christmas tree lighting, which was due to begin in a few minutes. She pushed her way up to the stage, and found one of the stagehands.
“Have you seen Dirk?” she asked.
“I think he’s in the back,” the worker replied.
Mindy took the steps up to the stage, and continued her frantic search.
In that moment, she was an arctic hunter, and he was her beautiful, elusive snow leopard. Finally, she laid eyes on her quarry. Dirk was standing near the back, all broody and handsome and sad and whatnot.
She ran to him. “Dirk!” she cried.
At the sound of his name, Dirk’s eyes rose to meet hers. “Mindy?”
They embraced, and she felt enveloped in his warm, beefy arms. “I don’t love Roger,” she said through tears. “And I turned down the Big Promotion.”
Dirk pulled back and looked into her arms. “What are you saying?”
In the distance, the countdown to the Christmas tree lighting had begun. They heard the throngs of revelers counting, but it all seemed miles away. In that moment, they were far away, secluded in a winter wonderland of their own making. Kind of like a giant snow globe, but figuratively speaking.
“I love you,” Mindy said.
The countdown reached zero, and suddenly the thousands of lights of the Christmas tree lit up all at once.
Dirk said nothing. He leaned in, and their lips met. They kissed, and Mindy had the sense that Dirk may have had a chili dog for lunch or something, but in that moment, she didn’t care.
Suddenly, Dirk pulled back. “I love you, too. But there’s something I have to tell you.”
Mindy’s eyes widened. “What is it?”
“I’m actually the crown prince of Snowlandia, a small country in Central Europe. I didn’t want to say something in case it might change our relationship. But yeah, I’m actually super-rich in addition to being a hot single dad.”
“Wow!”
They kissed again as a light snow began to fall.
And it truly was the most Christmas-y Christmas in Christmas-Town.
The End
