I'm still waiting for you

I try to find you

but my words do not reach you...

I look for you in the dark closed night

of your current indifference

I arm myself with the memories of a love

so sweet, so simple, so full

While your new being disarms me

with lies, with deceptions, with absence...

I try to find you because still,

from the bottom, sometimes you look out

You run away to meet me,

vulnerable and simple, kind and warm...

Sweet companion of my soul,

I look for you to treasure you,

to hug you, to love you

But you escape from my hands

like sand, like water, like air...

You seem immaterial to me

Maybe I have imagined or dreamed you...

Maybe you were another lie

that I wanted to believe because I needed it...

Maybe the routine, maybe the pain,

maybe the misunderstandings were the cause...

Probably pride ...

Maybe heartbreak

And yet, sometimes,

you resurface your new self

And he allows me to have you again,

a short time, only a few days maybe...

And for that promise I wait for you ...

Time has passed and I feel less and less of you

I'm still waiting for you...

And in your place now there is only that man

who treats me like a stranger,

like an enemy

And I can't understand so much resentment, so much disdain, so much passion

just to hurt my soul...

And it makes me desperate

And it infuriates me

Sometimes I would like to break the world, hit life...

It exhausts me

And here I have continued waiting for you for a long time

but each time the wait gets longer,

more painful, more hopeless...

But suddenly I understand

that something in me has changed,

I can no longer believe him

I can no longer wait for you...

However, I'm still here,

another love holds me back,

other pains chain me,

hers are mine...

That love that was born from ours

needs me whole, strong and firm

I no longer have the time or the strength

or the desire to wait for you,

to believe you, to dream of you...

And yet one day you barely appear...

And I discover it again:

Here I am...

I'm still waiting for you...

Fabiana Elizabeth Agüero

© Fabiana Elizabeth Agüero