Kye Houser - Nerves
Bolting out of the house I snatched up my bookbag from my screened in porch. Living in Florida had its perks, but not when you’re used to living in Minnesota. Living in Minnesota, you’d be used to being able to sleep in during the winter season cause school is usually delayed. Though in Florida that’s not the case and everything is so much more different. For college you have to get up earlier than back in high school. That shit fucking sucked, but I worked up to getting a football scholarship to please my dad. Just like he did when he was in high school. Though that wasn’t my dream at all, he didn’t care.
Panting some as I ran to the bus stop, I needed to catch this first bus or I’m screwed. It was only a few blocks, but I wasn’t exactly in shape from my conditioning for football practice for a while. I make it just in time though and sit on the bench as I wait. A few other people were also there. A taller man than my 5’ 4” stature was standing by the bus stop booth while he was on his phone talking to someone. Next to me on the bench was an older lady who seemed like she’d hate anyone and everyone. Just the look on her face made me scoot to the other side of the bench.
I hope that I don’t get picked on for still not being able to drive like back in high school. I thought and sighed to myself as a hard swallow went down my throat.
Sitting there for what felt like the good part of forever, I pulled my phone out of my pocket. Tapping the screen to get it to light up. The bus driver was already fifteen minutes late. “Sure the day that I need to be at school early..” I groan to myself as I slip my phone back into my hoodie pocket. Just as I do, the giant public automobile pulls into it’s station and I scurry to my feet, clenching my bookbag.
Not making the first move to the bus though, the elderly lady gets up as I do and she gets on before me, but then I feel a small shove. The taller man was pushing his way in front of me. “Hey…” I spoke softly, but then stopped myself. I knew that speaking up wouldn’t do anything in my favor.
Scanning the aisles there were seats in between people, though I still knew no one here. This was the first time I lived on my own. Though I didn’t feel like making friends with possible creeps on the bus. Making my decision I took the seat right behind the bus driver’s seat where there was no one.
I missed Minnesota. I wanted to go back home, but I had already gotten that football scholarship into ‘the best college in Florida’. Though if anyone threw me a free plane ticket back home I wouldn’t contemplate.
Once the bus arrived at the stop for Seal Bay, I stood up and got off of the bus, stumbling slightly over my own feet. Walking into the atrium I see the whole group of students in the entryway, seeming to be in awe of something. It’s the first day of college. What could everyone be so excited over? I questioned the thoughts in my brain. But then that’s when I saw why.
A male that looks to be around my age or maybe a bit younger. Though he definitely wasn’t a freshman just out of high school or a sophomore. Watching him strut into the atrium caused my to unknowingly bite my bottom lip. He seemed like he owned the place. Dressed in higher brand clothes, being fine as hell. Holy damn. Hello there mister hot looking. I thought to myself as I kept my gaze locked onto him like the rest of the school. He had thick chocolate brown hair that was brought into a swoop like my own, and his eyes were the most gorgeous version of hazel that I’d ever seen.
As I watched him he settled into a chair at a table in the atrium. A shiver shoots down my spine as I feel his eyes look toward the direction of literally the entire school. I feel as though he’s looking directly at me though, and my eyes divert.
Looking at the floor and kicking my feet a bit. “He’s way too good looking and presumably too rich for someone like myself to have any luck even talking to him. Or even him liking me. I’m just a poor little Minnesota boy.” I whisper to myself as I feel a shove into my side and I fall faces first onto the hard floor. I didn’t want to look up but I heard laughing as a group of people walked up the stairs out of the atrium. “Go back to your old school dumbass.” One of them bellowed as they walked.
Once I was sure they were gone I got back to my feet, head throbbing. My face turns sour as I know I was gonna get bullied here too. So much for that possibility. I thought as I looked back at the table, but the guy was gone already. Sighing softly I go to find a place to take a seat, knowing the headmaster was going to talk soon.
“Hello students! I’m Mr. Terry. Your headmaster.” Starts a middle aged balding man on the small stage in the atrium. “Welcome to another new year here at Seal Bay Specialty College. We have such a great year ahead of us, and I can’t wait to see where it takes you all. I hope you all reach your goals and dreams.” He was saying, but I was completely tuning this guy out. My thoughts kept drifting to that guy. I’d love to be his friend. At least, I think. It’s not like I’m homophobic or anything. I just came from a very conservative state. But… for some strange reason I can’t seem to shake this guy off of my mind. Am I… attracted to him? No way! I can’t possibly be. There’s no way I’m gay. Am I?
Though soon the headmaster’s rambling was over. The bell dismissed us and I looked at my schedule on my phone.
First class of the day: Zoology. At least it wasn’t the most boring class to start off with.
The class started like any other class on the first day. Given a syllabus of what we’ll learn, and a pretest. Pretests are bullshit. They’re just meant to pad out an already long day to be even longer. Which is why I finished my test in five minutes, and spent the rest of the class looking around.
That’s when I noticed that one of the guys that shoved me down were also in that class. Fuck. Today is gonna be shit isn’t it. I lay my head down on the desk, still really tired. The teacher ranted on about the syllabus after everyone had completed their pretests. Though I was spacing again on anything and everything that he was talking about.
My eyes were getting heavy, and before I knew it, I was passed out face down at my desk. I only woke up when I heard the bell ring. I had slept through the entire class. “Shit, I must’ve been really tired.” I said as I quickly scrambled to gather up my things. My heart raced as I began to think about the dream that I had had. It was about that boy again. If it wasn’t then it was a boy very similar.
The dream consisted of the boy coming and helping me after what happened this morning. Then him telling me I was cute, and just like that I was attracted to him in the dream.
No. No. No no no. There’s no fucking way I like him.
Nope. No fucking way. I’m not gay.
I’m very into girls. I can’t be.
This can’t happen to me. Not with my family.
Though as I was lost in my thoughts the teacher had come over and slammed his hand down on my desk. “Wednesday if you fall asleep in my class you’ll be staying extra to catch up on what you missed.” He said in a slightly monotone but yet strict voice. I knew he wasn’t playing. Though I just nodded and started past him as I exited. My face growing extremely hot.
Lunch was an affair in itself. It wasn’t exactly clique upon clique as more people just sat within their big or smaller groups of friends. Me being the new kid, however, I had no friends. So I got my lunch and clung to the shadows of the cafeteria. Pulling out my phone I text one of my old friends from Merrifield Community College, all the way back in Minnesota.
Not too many responses from them though. They were always so busy with their own life to care about mine. Though once I looked up, I noticed that guy again. For fucks sake. Every time I look up, I see him. At this point I might as well have just said hi. But he was fast enough to beat me to it.
“Hi,” he said. I blushed immediately and looked down, too embarrassed to say anything at all. He gave a puzzled look and shrugged, walking away. Phew.
Though it was making me wonder. My attrac- my curiosity towards him. Why did I want his attention so bad when I was so shy? He’s just a decent looking guy. So what? He’s probably not even into guys anyways. Like that would matter to me of course. I liked girls, and girls only.
I shook off the entire thing, I didn’t even touch my lunch. Though to be honest, I never really ate lunches at any type of school. They always made my stomach hurt afterwards. I never knew why though. Today was hell on earth but it was almost over. Just a few more hours. A few more classes. I just wanted to go home already. Even if home was a shitty little run down beach shack.
Sighing, I got up and dumped my tray. Though instead of going and sitting back down I went into the hall and to one of the vending machines. I got a bag of chips and a can of Mtn Dew from it. Hearing giggling from behind me I look up and see a group of girls staring and giggling softly to themselves. I sigh and head off down the hall. Heading to my next class sooner than I needed to. I wanted to be alone for a bit.
