That Night
It was already late into the the night when Pam's phone lit up with a notification. Her heart skipped in anticipation of what the message would read and despite being overly desperate to know it's content she feared it might not be what she wanted to hear.
She knew that there was a 70% chance that this would backfire but she took her chances and was ready to deal with whatever consequences that came with it.
Pam was nervous while she walked down the dark empty street.
Her stomach churned and the content of her stomach constantly threatened to come out at any moment. Her fingers had turned cold and she didn't need to touch her earlobes to know that they were cold too. That was her tell tale for all the nervousness she was feeling.
She had worn a hoodie and sweatpants, this wasn't exactly a date anyway so who cared?? A lot was running through her mind as she made her way to coffee shop where the text from Macey had told her to come. What if it wasn't Macey who had replied the text? What if it was Liam, her boyfriend. To hell with him she chided. She knew that actions came with consequences when she had decided to do what she did. She knew she was probably going to get a talking down or worse get her ass beaten by Liam and his squad but she was ready for any of that.
The coffee shop had closed when she got there. The place that looked soo lively in the mornings looked deserted and no sign of life was to be seen there. Pam was scared , maybe terrified even. She had sneaked out of home with nobody knowing her whereabout and then no sign of Macey. She pulled her phone out and realized that she was more than 5 minutes earlier than they had agreed on.. Damn!! She cussed out loud..
Anything the matter?? She heard someone say from behind her.. Pam's back and her whole body stiffened, she knew that voice and she knew the effect it had on her. The churning in her stomach returned, her fingers grew cold and she didn't need a diviner to tell her that under her hoodie, there were goosebumps all over her.. Yes , Macey did that and more to her. She didn't even have to try, all she had to do was be herself, her smile, her hysterical laughter when she found something extremely funny, the way she wore her clothes, her everyday messy bun on her head... Pam found everything about Macey Mac Clare simply amazing. She had had it in for Macey right from their junior year when she hadn't even realized how very gay she was. She had thought it a mare admiration but having come to terms with her sexuality Pam knew better than to call it a mare admiration. Macey on the other hand was straight and has always been straight at least to the best of Pam's knowledge. She had only dated boys and Pam was still contemplating what had given her the balls to tell Macey how she felt about her. Was it the occasional smile she sent her way ever too often? Was it the fact that she had called her beautiful? Or that time she had offered her a jacket when she had fallen ill in school.. Pam didn't know, all she knew was that she had to tell Macey how she felt about her tonight.
No, nothing. There is no matter Pam stuttered.
I got your text, Macey said after a long stretch of silence between them.
I must say I got a little confused by it so I would like you to tell me again.
Pam suddenly felt like her tongue had been glued to the roof of her mouth.
All the words she had prepared to sweep Macey off her feet had forsaken her and she had no backup plan anywhere. Her face looked drained of blood and Macey saw the discomfort.
Hey Pam, Macey said while taking her hand into her palm and rubbing it with her other hand to provide it with warmth. Look at me, it's just you and me.
Pam looked into Macy's eyes and saw something she had never quite seen in her eyes before. Among a host of other things,she saw vulnerability. She wasn't quite sure whether this was a good thing or a bad thing but the warmth from Macy's palm urged her on..
"Macey, I have thought about this moment a million times and have rehearsed everything I ever wanted to say to you.. I swear , it played out better than it is coming along ryt now.
I like you Macey, I like you a lot.. no, that's bullshit.. I do more than just like you. I'm in love with you Macey. I have been for as long as I can remember knowing you and I know you are straight and dating Liam and I don't mean to cause any rift between you two. But I have kept this feeling all bottled up inside me and I feel it will be unfair to you if you didn't know that someone loved you this much and I don't want to be the only one who knows I loved this much. I know you probably don't feel the same and that's okay, you don't have to I....
Come on Pam, Macey interrupted look at me!! Look into my eyes and lemme know at what part of your speech realization will hit you ... and you will kiss me she added silently.
That was when Pam took a break looked at the girl who now stared back at her face with nothing but love shinning in her eyes.
I like you too Pam, I like you a lot.. no, that's another bullshit she said and they both chuckled. Yes , that was the smile. The smile Pam knew had always been and will forever be her weakness.
Do I seriously need to continue this speech or you .....
The words died in Macey's mouth as Pam's lips caught hers in a kiss. Her lips were soft and her breadth warm. It was everything Macey had imagined and yet like nothing she had imagined. It made her insides flare and her thoughts empty. In this moment all the questions she had ever had about herself and all her doubts had come to rest. She understood now why she had held out on Liam all this while, yes it finally did make sense now. She leaned into the kiss. She wanted more of the peace, the assurance and love this kiss was offering she wanted more of Pam and she knew Pam wanted more of her..
No, nothing. There is no matter Pam stuttered.
I got your text, Macey said after a long stretch of silence between them.
I must say I got a little confused by it so I would like you to tell me again.
Pam suddenly felt like her tongue had been glued to the roof of her mouth.
All the words she had prepared to sweep Macey off her feet had forsaken her and she had no backup plan anywhere. Her face looked drained of blood and Macey saw the discomfort.
Hey Pam, Macey said while taking her hand into her palm and rubbing it with her other hand to provide it with warmth. Look at me, it's just you and me.
Pam looked into Macy's eyes and saw something she had never quite seen in her eyes before. Among a host of other things,she saw vulnerability. She wasn't quite sure whether this was a good thing or a bad thing but the warmth from Macy's palm urged her on..
"Macey, I have thought about this moment a million times and have rehearsed everything I ever wanted to say to you.. I swear , it played out better than it is coming along ryt now.
I like you Macey, I like you a lot.. no, that's bullshit.. I do more than just like you. I'm in love with you Macey. I have been for as long as I can remember knowing you and I know you are straight and dating Liam and I don't mean to cause any rift between you two. But I have kept this feeling all bottled up inside me and I feel it will be unfair to you if you didn't know that someone loved you this much and I don't want to be the only one who knows I loved this much. I know you probably don't feel the same and that's okay, you don't have to I....
Come on Pam, Macey interrupted look at me!! Look into my eyes and lemme know at what part of your speech realization will hit you ... and you will kiss me she added silently.
That was when Pam took a break looked at the girl who now stared back at her face with nothing but love shinning in her eyes.
I like you too Pam, I like you a lot.. no, that's another bullshit she said and they both chuckled. Yes , that was the smile. The smile Pam knew had always been and will forever be her weakness.
Do I seriously need to continue this speech or you .....
The words died in Macey's mouth as Pam's lips caught hers in a kiss. Her lips were soft and her breadth warm. It was everything Macey had imagined and yet like nothing she had imagined. It made her insides flare and her thoughts empty. In this moment all the questions she had ever had about herself and all her doubts had come to rest. She understood now why she had held out on Liam all this while, yes it finally did make sense now. She leaned into the kiss. She wanted more of the peace, the assurance and love this kiss was offering she wanted more of Pam and she knew Pam wanted more of her..
Why did it take you so long? Macey asked after they had broken the kiss.
You Macey, she replied. I was afraid I will ruin every other chance at anything I had with you if I tried telling you how I felt and you didn't feel the same.
Goodness Pam, we need to get your eyes checked then. The confusion on Pam's face when Macey said that was hilarious and Macey laughed out loudly into the night air.. I have been flirting or trying to flirt with you for as long as I can remember and if u didn't see any of that then yes , we need to get your eyes checked.
Wow, what about Liam?? You guys look so cute on campus together and..
No, Liam and I are not a thing Pam. He did ask me out but I declined tho we did kiss once. I let him go on to parade himself as my bf because it keeps everyone else away..
I'm glad it didn't keep me away then...
I'm glad it didn't...
The night was far gone and they knew it but they also knew neither of them would be getting any sleep tonight. They would rather share it together than alone in their beds they thought as they strolled down the street hand in hand..
