There Was Once a Man

There was once a man. Not a real man but old enough to know he does not want to be called a boy. His name is not important, nor is what he looks like. It does not matter what country he is from, nor does it matter what faith he believes in. This man is everyone and he is no one.

Newly released from the peaceful existence of high school he is not ready for anything but a fantasy. He wants to be a Hollywood director working alongside Spielberg on the next blockbuster. With a beautiful blonde bombshell on his side wearing the latest Prada shoes, Valentino Garavani dress, and Gucci bag.

He wants to design the Banana Ephone. He wears the same wife beater singlet with scrambled egg stains on the collar. His swim shorts will always be white with blue stripes and never blue with white stripes. He will have a wife that people will suggest was one of his inventions. Her beauty simple and her mind intelligent. But not smart enough to bruise his ego and will remain forever silent not to disturb his brilliance. His sandals scream misunderstood genius but below the surface the mad murmurings of a totalitarian dictator remain well hidden.

He wants to be a Young Adult author. His health deteriorating from the coffee he has running on an IV directly into his veins. He can’t get out of his own head. If he had a wife and kids, he would only see them as possible inspiration. Or place them in the slush pile for he cannot manipulate them with his pen.

He is a musician. Asleep on a pillow of white powders. He is a scientist. Probing his friends for experimentation. He is a philosopher, who can’t answer the question “How was your day?”

He is everything! Or is he nothing?

He is a boy. I retract what I said. He cannot be a man. He was taught that men are big and burly. They drink, fight and piss standing up. He is none of those things. He does none of those things.

Men provide. Their feelings, merely things to hide. He cannot do any of those things. Is he a man? He is caring and kind. He accepts his feelings and loves to support his beloved’s life. He is not macho, brave or demanding. Is he still a man? Is a man insecure? Are men scared, lost and confused? Because he is.

He is not popular. He is funny, goofy and witty. But he is not popular. He cares for his friends. He looks after, checks in and fiercely protects them. They do not do the same.

He is not cool. He is not on Instagram, TikTok or Snapchat. He does not know what a hashtag is or how to dance the renegade. He listens to Springsteen, Bowie, the Stones, the Beatles, and the Eagles. He does not know what a WAP is or think swearing is cool.

He treats women with respect. He talks, not flirts. He is kind, not creepy. He has a heart of gold. Send him into the world and it will only be eroded.

What is a man?

What will he do?

What is his dream?

Is he cool?

Is he popular?

These questions burn the man.

He is everyone.

He is no one.