Ursanthropy

A/n: New book, new adventure! Please let me know what you think, and push your fluffy paw on the ‘like’ button!

Doreen

Looking at the sight in front of me, I was content. The final touch on the lower left corner, my signature, made it complete. I put the brush, with the off-white paint still on it, into the jar of dirty water and took the multicolour apron off of my neck. I chuckled for a second at all the colours that were on there and remembered how some of those stains had gotten on it. The reminiscent thoughts of my past came surging in, but I shook them off. I don’t want to think back a lot about it, as finishing this painting without her, my mother, was difficult enough already.

I was finishing the painting that my father loved so much. He had been pushing me the past few weeks to get it done, but I didn’t have the inspiration for it to find the right colours.

“Oh, come on princess, it would brighten your old man’s heart to see it finished.” He had said lovingly.

He was really loving about it, but he couldn’t understand that an artist, even though I’m only seventeen, needs a certain flow to create something. Pushing and stressing about it, wouldn’t work, but I guess that he thought different about it.

In his line of work, although I didn’t truly understand what it is that he did, he had to use a lot of anger and stress, to get things done. That is at least what I made out from all his phone calls and ‘meetings’.

He had these gatherings in one of the rooms in our house, the room which was made soundproof. And at the end of almost every ‘meeting’, tall strong men came out of it, with pale skin and fear clearly written on their faces. Once, I even looked at the hallway, as I sat on the couch, and believed to even see someone with a busted-up face and blood pouring out of his ear.

I had tried asking my father about it, but he told me to not be bothered by it. He just gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me to go paint or read a book again. I just shrugged it off, and had continued to read my book indeed. Why should I bother myself about it, if he didn’t? I mean, I live in an amazing house, my father gave me everything I needed, there were servants to make me food or fetch me things, and guards were at our premises twenty-four seven.

Besides, we live in a secluded area in the forest, where it was quiet to read some books, and I had a beautiful view to paint. Actually, I was finished right now.

While looking to my work one more time and viewing past the painting on the easel, to compare it with the actual view behind it, I smiled. I believe I have done an excellent job.

The lake, including its shimmers, the pine trees in the distance, the mountaintops reaching high above it, and the golden sunset, that went down in the middle, creating a beautiful shadow from the person in the front.

Well, the person on my painting wasn’t in my actual vision, but it was that of my memory. I hoped that I had perfected her outlining and that my father would appreciate the effort for it as well.

I went to the house, to tell my father about my completion and happily hopped up the stairs, that led to the garden door. The glass of the door showed me my reflection and I was grunting softly towards the view I momentarily saw. With my short length, thin body and long black hair, no one dared to talk to me like I was a young adult, instead they always pretended me to be a child.

The guards that were standing at the door had nodded their head in greeting and I repaid that gesture to them. I might be spoiled with everything I wanted to have, but I’d still like to think that I was a nice person.

My father had said earlier that he was having a meeting, and just as I walked into the hallway, again there were men with their blush now gone, stepping out of the room at the backend of the hall. They must have seen something awful for them to have pale and frightened faces.

It was still several yards away, but as one of those feared men had left the door open, I could glance inside the soundproof room that I was never allowed to go into.

One of the guards that wasn’t fazed by the sight, had tried to step in front of me, to guard me from peeking inside. But the horror had been burned into my eyes already. It had been only a few seconds, but it was enough. My naive mind, soon broke in two.

There where I had always thought highly of my father, as a loving, yet stern man, he was now drenched in blood, holding a knife in his hand, as a lifeless body laid on a table in front of him.

I just stood there, feeling my body being lifted by probably one of the guards, taken away from the room…

“Honk, honk!”

Suddenly a loud pair of honks interrupted my brain, snapping me out of my flashback and I focused on the sight in front of me. A set of bright shining lights, together with the sound of slipping brakes and wheezing tires, I managed to avoid the truck that was driving in my lane.

Shit! I was on his lane!

“For fuck sakes, Doreen, keep your head straight for a while!” I said to myself.

I had taken the next stop at a gas station and figured I needed a few hours of sleep. Great, no motel. Car it is again, I suppose.

For the past three years, after I had left my parental home, ever since I had witnessed my dad killing someone, and executed my escape plan, I had been travelling non-stop.

After getting myself to safety, I had bought another simpler car, by selling off the expensive one that I had taken from my dad, to a shady second-hand dealer. And with the leftover money, which was plenty enough to get me through the first year, I was now living from day to day.

I went inside the gas station and made use of the bathroom, before buying a sandwich and headed outside to the old rusty car again. I sighed looking at it, at its bumps and worn-out tires, but it took me everywhere I needed, and it kept a dry roof above my head.

Thinking of which, I quickly stepped inside as the rain started to poor heavy now.

I ate my sandwich, which wasn’t of course a full dinner, but I couldn’t be picky with my current amount of money. And then I lowered the chair, into a laying position, to try and get myself some sleep, while the music of raindrops brought me to a serene slumber.

“Hey, you alright?” Someone asked me in a muffled voice, while knocking on the window and waking me up.

I sat up straight, looked at my surroundings and hoped that I was back at my father’s house, before the bad things had started, but I guess that I was still the lonely travelling girl. I sighed and told the man who knocked me awake, that I was alright.

While rubbing my eyes I got out of the car and shook my face to get me awake a little better. The man was gone now and I took a shirt from the back of the car, made it wet with water from one of the bottles that were there too and cleaned my face a little.

Crap that’s cold! Well, at least I’m awake now.

The shirt got stuck on the necklace that I wore, and carefully I tried to get it loose.

Luckily, it did, and I was happy I didn’t break the necklace while doing so. This necklace had been a gift from my mother and she had told me to never take it off. She had said that it would protect me, and when I was young I believed it, but not anymore. It hadn’t prevented me for this life and I doubt that it would keep a bullet or something else dangerous, from hurting me.

The silver, entwined Celtic knot that was in the middle of the medallion, was symbolizing the female empowerment, as she had explained as well. But it didn’t mean anything like that to me, to me it was only a memory, of her. But I wore it, no matter what, as this was my last item to remember her by.

When no one looked, I changed into something that smelled less awful than the clothes I was wearing now and got back into the car. I refuelled it and went onto the road again.

I need to get myself another job, soon.