Chapter 1
“Here's my key,” My husband James whispered as he slid the key slowly across the kitchen counter. I could see his strong hands trembling. The same hands that had held me, comforted me. He didn’t even look up at me, afraid I would see the tears welling up in his exquisite blue gray eyes.0
I wanted to reach out, grab him, and plead don’t go, I love you. I couldn’t, I stood there frozen and exhausted. I loved this man so deeply, to only be hurt the worst hurt possible. This man was my everything and now my everything was gone. It all felt so unreal.
Looking back, I still don’t understand why. He was my everything. My soulmate. We started out so perfect…
I was 21 and in my junior year at college when I met him. I was attending Missouri State University. I had grown up a few hours from there and loved the campus. It wasn't one of those big universities, where classes were overcrowded, or the professors never knew you. My advisor had suggested I take an accounting course to see if business would appeal to me. I had no clue as to what I wanted to do with my life and since this was my junior year I knew had to get serious and choose a major.
However, the course had proved to be more than I could handle and my GPA was in serious jeopardy. After graduating from high school valedictorian and receiving a full scholarship, my GPA could not suffer. I did not have the luxury of falling back on my parents for help. They both worked full time but were barely able to make ends meet as it was. They helped me with expenses when they could but I never wanted to burden them. I knew the struggles they faced and I never wanted to add strain to their lives.
After class one day, I approached Mrs. Lovitz, my professor, regarding my grade. She was a sweet woman in her mid 40’s, well-dressed, and very smart. I knew I had passed the date to drop the class unless your professor would sign a waiver, which I assumed this would not be a problem, since she was always so warm and inviting in class. I was wrong, so wrong.
“Ms. Parker”, replied Mrs. Lovitz. “I am assigning you a tutor for the class. His name is James and he will meet with you on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I will email you all the information regarding the arrangements. I know you have great potential and I don’t want to see you just give up.”
What! I wanted to scream. You have got to be kidding me. I don't have time for this. Between studying, classes, my job, I didn't need to add more to my full plate.
“Oh great, thank you Mrs. Lovitz.” I said with a fake grin on my face. I’m sure she could hear the sarcasm in my tone. Great some know it all geek was going to teach me accounting. All I wanted was to drop this course and move on, now I was stuck having a tutor. Wonderful!
I would have never guessed at that moment, this meeting would change my life.
It was Tuesday and time for my first tutoring session. Mrs. Lovitz told me to meet James in the library meeting room at 2:15.
I was about to open the door when the knob turned and slowly opened. I looked up to find myself staring into the eyes of the most beautiful man I had ever seen. I gazed into his blue gray eyes. His perfectly sculpted face with his caramel brown hair sweeping just across his forehead. I could feel my heart rate increase and my knees weaken. It was as though time had stopped around us.
“Ms. Parker?” The handsome stranger asked staring deep into my eyes with a beautiful, charming smile. One of those smiles that was wickedly charming and seductive. I found myself struggling to breathe, mesmerized.
“Um... Yes, I am yours. I mean I'm Macy Parker.” I said as I felt as though I should run out screaming. I am yours. Come on Macy get a grip. Yes, this man is unbelievably handsome but I needed to pull myself together. My head was spinning from the intense feelings running through my body.
“You must be James?” I scrambled trying to shift the conversation back to him and regain my nonexistent confidence.
“Yes, it is such a pleasure to meet you.” He grabbed my hand softly to shake it. He had an elegance and grace about him I had only ever seen in the old movies my mom would make me watch with her. Those black and white movies where the man was suave, sophisticated, charming. That was James to a tee. He could have been the Cary Grant of our day.
When he touched my hand, it was as though a current of electricity ran through me, sending shock waves throughout my body. His breathtakingly beautiful eyes were watching my every move.
In all of my 21 years, I had never felt a reaction like that towards a man. I realized Mrs. Lovitz was an angel for assigning me this tutor, and I must remember to thank her.
With his free hand, he slid out the metal chair for me to sit. He was not like the boys I had been used to being around, this was a man. He was wearing a pair of khakis, which normally would not turn me on, however the way he wore them did. They hung just right on his hips, hugging just the right spots. His shirt was a slim fit solid blue button down, that allowed me to imagine his physique underneath. I could tell his body was physically fit the way his clothes hugged his body.
“Mrs. Lovitz has given me an idea of areas we should focus on during our tutoring session to help you improve your grade.” He spoke in a deep, husky voice. I could listen for hours to this voice. His voice could make accounting the most intriguing subject.
“Ok,” was the only word I could get out of my mouth. My whole body was reacting to him in a way I was not accustomed too. I felt something deep within me wanting, yearning to touch him and have him touch me. Screw accounting, I just wanted him to screw me right now.
“Ms. Parker, we can start by reviewing your last assignment” he spoke, however all I heard was Ms. Parker. It was as if my whole body reacted to him calling me that. My friends called me Macy; however, there was something so sensual and provocative when he said Ms. Parker. The way his lips parted as his softly spoke my name.
I realized he was staring at me, and I needed to respond.
“Yes, whatever you think is best.” What I think would be best is if you were naked on this table right now and I was on top of you. I mean, this is not like me. OMG, what the hell am I thinking?
“I have no idea” realizing I had just answered my own question aloud. I flushed, embarrassed because I have never been so out of sorts.
“About what?” he responded quickly, as if he is coming to my rescue.
Fumbling for a response, I stuttered “ The.. the whole class. I mean I just have no idea where to begin.” I watched his reaction and his face softened, thankful I was able to come up with a quick response to avoid more embarrassment.
“Ms. Parker, don’t worry. You seem like a bright young woman” he assured me as he placed his hand on mine. There it was again, the current I had felt before. I was looking in his eyes as he touched my hand and I could swear he felt that current too. A spark that ignited with a single touch. How could that even be possible?
“Let’s begin,” James stated, releasing my hand. I tried not to appear disappointed, but I really just wanted to feel his touch. To hell with accounting, I just wanted him.
Forty-five minutes flew by and I listened as he explained every aspect of my previous chapter. I was in awe of him as he spoke of the material. There was a passion, which I could not help but feel jealous.
“This was a great session, and you did a great job.” He said while standing.
“Thank you so much. This was wonderful.” I could not take my eyes off him. I would not see him again until Thursday. Two days without him seemed like a lifetime.
“Here is my email and cell number in case you need any help with anything.” James said as he slid over a card with his info on it. I could not help the goofy grin that came across my face. Though I knew the feeling would never be mutual, I could not help myself. This man was beautiful. He would never be interested in anyone like me.
I was a tall, slender girl with long dark hair. My hair was naturally curly and fell to the middle of my back. I had dark hazel eyes. I always felt as though my eyes were my best feature, but honestly, I always felt very plain compared to other girls around.
He grabbed the door and opened as I began to walk out. “Ms. Parker, it was a pleasure meeting you,” he spoke in a deeper, sexier voice. His eyes were focused on me, consuming me. His wicked grin suggested something; however, I assured myself he was just being courteous or the ultimate player.
“You as well,” I whispered and bit my bottom lip as I walked out. Trying not to trip on anything to look like a fool.
In moments, I was out of the library and headed to my next class, though I had no idea how I would ever make it through that.
The next hour was a blur. My English professor was lecturing on one of her favorite Jane Austen books; however, I never heard a word. I relived my encounter with James. Even when I thought of his touch, my body reacted. My breathing changed, becoming more rapid when I imagined his face or his touch. Just the thought of each small touch made me crave him more.
When I got back to my dorm room, my best friend Holly was there. Thank goodness, I needed to talk to her.
“How was tutoring” Holly asked sarcastically. She had known how much I did not want to go.
Holly had been my best friend since elementary school. We grew up together and shared everything. She was beautiful, funny, and smart. She was the whole package. She came from an affluent family and dressed beautifully. Her long blonde hair, blue eyes, and perfect figure were the downfall of every man she met. She was also the sweetest and most amazing friend in the world.
“Amazing” I said slowly. I watched her reaction and she seemed confused.
“Macy Parker, what the hell is going on with you? Amazing, tutoring was amazing?”
“James is the most beautiful man I have ever met. Holly he is like a drug, I feel like I just can’t get enough.”
“Are you serious? Macy, you never talk this way about guys.” She replied shocked at my declaration.
“I know, I don’t understand. He just makes me feel something I have never felt before.” His touch alone could send my body over the edge.
“Macy, that is wonderful. He would be a lucky guy to have a hottie like you.”
“Yeah right. Like that will ever happen. He is out of my league.” I scoffed.
“You always do this. Macy, you are a gorgeous girl. Give yourself some credit. If any guy can’t see that then they are crazy.” She said as she hugged me tight.
“I hate to run but I have a date tonight with Scott,” she stated as she ran out the door. “Love ya!”
“You too, have fun,” I shouted as the door shut behind her.
I decided I needed to get busy on my homework. I had a paper to write and needed the distraction. I knew this would get my mind off James.
I was lying on my bed working on my laptop when suddenly there was a ding. I looked at the time it was 9:30 and I had been moving along on my paper. I clicked the flashing instant message on my screen. It was from him. Oh my God!
