Chapter 1
The air was cold, making my lips chatter with every passing minute. As I took in my surroundings, I could see the dark figures of tall trees. Looking up to scan the trees, I noticed glowing lights of blue and red behind them. Piquing my curiosity, I started to follow the lights that shined brighter with every step in its direction.
Pushing past the last tree, my arms had begun to sting with each branch that I had to move past, scraping against them. As I hissed out in pain and started to cradle my arm, expecting the deep scratches, a glistening on the ground caught my eye. Crouching down to get a better look, I picked the item up, expecting it between my two fingers.
Glass.
Being so low to the ground, I could now notice a scattered trail of the small broken pieces of glass. Shooting my head up, I began to chase after the lights and follow the glass. A sinking feeling began to erupt around me as I got closer.
Coming up closer, I could see police cars, an ambulance, and a firetruck that were scattered across the road, causing me to squeeze in between each one so I could get a better look. A small car had been turned upside down, now residing smashed against part of the guard rail.
A team of first responders ran past me, heading for the passenger’s side of the damaged car. Slowly following behind, I came to the other side of the vehicle, crouching down to the broken window. The woman in the driver’s seat began to shout for them to help her daughter. “ISABELLA,” she cried.
I knew that voice. I knew the panicked screams that were being shouted out to help the woman’s little girl. With the memories beginning to flood back, I ran to the passenger side scraping my knees as I quickly kneeled, pushing past everyone there to help.
The girl’s dark hair blocked her face as I grabbed her shoulder and shook, trying to wake her up. The tears started to fall down my cheeks as I screamed for her to wake up. “Please, please!” I shouted, already knowing the outcome.
Soon my screams for the young girl turned into the ones that shouted for her to wake up first.
“ISABELLA- ”
The dark night began to fade. The cars, the glass, and the screaming mother had all started to disappear, leaving me in an empty abstract of my restless mind.
Waking up with a slight scream, I could hear the footsteps running to my room. Seconds after my door was opened, two delicate arms wrapped around me. My mother’s sweet vanilla scent started to flood my senses.
I could feel her arms start to wrap around me as her soothing voice calmed me down from the horror of my dreams. “Isabella, It’s okay, honey, you’re safe now.”
My tears began to dry, only leaving a few hiccups behind. With my mother petting my hair and humming little songs, it wasn’t long before I was once again falling asleep. Only this time, my dreams were nothing but the darkness that always follows me.
5:00 A.M
My alarm started to ring off the time attempting to wake me up. I felt around until I could locate the robotic voice, finally bringing the noise to an end. My bones popped as I stretched my back and squeezed my hands together before getting ready to start the day.
I searched for the right clothes, feeling for the ones my mother had set aside for me today. The clothes felt soft to the touch, a soft sweater with a knee-length skirt. I slipped on my thigh high socks and some booties. I started preparing to meet my family at the breakfast table.
I knew breakfast would have an awkward presence. When I announced to everyone that I wanted to move out, it came as a shock to my parents and siblings. But with me being the oldest of my mother’s three children at twenty-one, I was more than eager to be on my own finally.
The railing guide led me to the kitchen, where I could smell chocolate chip pancakes in the making. “Good morning, sweetheart. Are you ready for your big day?” My dad asked while embracing me in a hug.
“Good morning, dad. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”
I could hear my mother sigh knowing she was reluctant about me going, especially with how I would occasionally have nightmares. “You can always change your mind If you want to, there’s nothing wrong with needing to wait a while longer.” My mother said while placing a plate of food in front of me.
That thought alone made me shiver. Since losing my sight, all I have wanted is a bit of normality, even if that’s living on my own or walking down the street unassisted. My mother barely started letting me do the later about a year ago after a lot of begging and convincing on my end.
My sister and brother’s laughter gliding through the room, with both of them knowing how deeply I’ve wanted to leave. “Ma, she’ll be back for a visit before you know it, and besides, you can baby me from now on.” As my brother talks to my mother, I could hear the smugness in his voice.
After finishing breakfast, we pulled together to pack my family’s car with all of my belongings. “Now, are you sure you’ve remembered everything? You have both canes and spare sunglasses?” My mother asked once again, showing her concern for me going.
“Yes, and yes, mom, I’ll be fine, and as you said, if I need to come, I know I always,” I say as I give her one last assuring squeeze. With a final goodbye to my siblings and mother, I started my journey with my father to a new place I’d call my home.
The ride was long, with only a few stops in between for restroom breaks and snacks. Having my father’s non-stop jokes and conversations helped with the panic that always settled in when I get into a car. When the accident first happened, I refused to anywhere out of pure fear that there would be another occurrence. Here I am now, five years later, still hanging onto those feelings.
At the rate I was at, I could be in a car with someone else and my headphones knowing I can at least take my mind off the anxiety and fear one way or another. “Okay, sweetheart, we’ve made it. Let’s get you inside while I get your things.” I could hear the sadness in his voice, knowing I finally made it to the apartment complex.
We were then greeted by a man at the front who instructed us on where to go. My family partially owns this complex, which was one of my living agreements on my own. My father instructed the manager to put me on the top floor to have the most privacy away from other residents. I felt around the buttons for the braille that read 13, and when the elevator let us off, I did the same with the door numbers. Determined to make my way on my own, I continued until feeling the number 87.
“Is it nice?” I asked my father, wishing I could see the fresh paint on the walls that I could smell the second I walked in.
My father paused before responding, “It’s absolutely you. Your paintings of the cherry blossoms are hanging by the couch courtesy of your mother, I’m sure.”
Besides my personal belongings, my mother made sure the apartment would be fully furnished and stocked with everything I’d need for at least the first few weeks. I was surprised to hear she hung up those paintings. I loved painting the flowers that I would see, but I felt as if I couldn’t even create one out of memory after losing my sight.
As I felt around exploring my new environment, I could feel braille on every cabinet, letting me know each of their purposes. I started to laugh as I heard my father’s struggling breath, and he blew curse words under his breath with every box he placed on the floor. I started to pour my father a drink, knowing he would soon depart, and I would be left alone in the quiet peace.
My father’s steps got closer to me as I extended my hand will the glass of water. “Will you be okay? On your own, I mean.” my father said in between drinks.
“You know I will. It’s about time mom finally catches a break, and you too, of course.” I thought to myself of how many times they put their life on hold for mine.
My father wrapped his arms around me, “What happened was out of all of our hands, but that would never change what we would be willing to do for you. You’ll always have a home with us, sweetheart.”
My father’s words brought tears to my eyes, making me cling to him harder, knowing once he leaves, the last bit of protectiveness will go with him. As I walked him to the door for our final goodbye, I could feel the quiet, serene take place. Once we said our goodbyes and a few tears later, here I was, unpacking my things bringing the apartment to life.
The drawers started to fill, and my room became an oil-infused heaven. Having the smells that remind me of home coated me like a blanket. With an audiobook playing and the warmth from the heater, not long after, I could feel my eyes start to flutter close. As I drifted off to sleep, the excitement of tomorrow started to thread its way into my dreams, showing me the only world that I could see.
