Messiah Complex
I loved playing with the ideas in my head of people who all loved each other.
I did not understand why I did that so frequently but now I understand I wish I did not.
You see, even in my fantasies it was not me being loved.
So, you ask me why I feel deserted or so defensive.
Well, it’s because I couldn’t even imagine myself being loved.
And I know it is not your fault, but sometimes I still tell myself it is.
That you did it intentionally because you hated me.
But I do not think it was me that you hated.
Because I know how I reminded you of people you could not change and I know that makes you angry enough that you cannot stand me being myself because it feels like a constant reminder of your failed manipulations.
But did it have to be you?
Did I have to be afraid of you?
I never wanted for things to end with way, but when you set our bridge on fire I walked away because I know I couldn’t contain the blaze.
Do you think about me, other than when you are comparing me to Judas who betrayed Jesus?
Do you hope that I kill myself over you like Judas did over Jesus?
Since you see yourself as nothing less than a messiah.
If you are supposed to be Jesus then how come it was so hard for you to love me?
It’s time for me to stop asking questions I know you can’t answer.
Though, I cannot find it in me to want to listen to you anyways.
I see now that it does not matter if it was you I had to divide from.
Back then I felt like a devoted monk leaving their religion behind.
Though now I know that you were never a god to begin with.
Are you able to understand that yet?
This poem made me cry. It brought so many emotions and feelings with beautiful words and cruel metaphors. The artistry is beyond anything I've known. Stunned
such play with words and the reader himself shows good talent...wish to collaborate one day
After reading this, I am emotionally crying. The words, the message and feeling. 😭