Abandoned

My childhood was quite difficult. Growing up in the bad side of town in a rough area. It was a struggle at points but I had my dad to protect me. He would always look after me, making sure that I was okay. Making sure I was healthy, even with bad living conditions.

My mum left us when I was around six months old. My dad told me she left because she “couldn’t handle it”. Leaving my dad to parent me on his own. It wasn’t easy in the slightest for my dad. Constantly trying to forget but then repeatedly having the same nightmares of the day that she left us.

A couple months after my mum left he started drinking. A LOT! I got taken away from him for a while, my grandparents took me for the time being. To be honest I can’t really remember everything that occurred through out the time we were apart. As I was so young. About three months later my dad got back in contact with my grandparents, letting them know that he’s stopped drinking and wanted me back. So he came and collected me, taking back home with him. I guess he must have realised how lonely it can be, not having a reason to live. Someone to live for. You could tell what the alcohol had done to him from the bags under his eyes to his teeth that were starting to rot. But he had made an effort to change.

Everything went back to normal after all that had gone on over the past five months. Everything was great.

Many years later I’m nearly thirteen years old. But here’s the thing. Every time that life is going perfectly fine, it’s so cliché that something HAS to happen that changes everything. And guess what? That's exactly what happens.

On my thirteenth birthday there was a knock at the door. So I opened the door to witness an average sized lady, she seemed quite skinny. She felt quite familiar to me as though I had met her before. Though I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

"Can I help you?" I questioned her as she was just staring at me. Making me very uncomfortable. "Holy mother of god you've grown up so much." she sighs. "Happy birthday!" She says in shock. "Oh... uhh... thanks... For real though who are you?, I don't know who you are". I was so confused as to who she was and how she knew me. Then within seconds I hear "HOW DARE YOU? Thinking you can just come back here. Looking all happy and smiley as though you are about to get something out of coming back here. Acting as though you haven't been gone for the last TWELVE AND A HALF YEARS!!!" I spun round facing my dad completely stunned at what my dad said to her. I looked at him and in that moment I could tell this was pure rage and hatred. I closed my eyes cause I was scared what he was going to do. I've never been scared of my dad but right now he is terrifying me. I could hear him storming towards the door and slamming it with a extreme BANG!!! Right in her face. There was heavy footsteps going in the opposite direction to me and I heard glass shattering which made me shiver. Then when I had the courage to open my eyes he was nowhere to be seen. I checked around the house to try and find him but it was as though he had vanished into thin air. I had so many questions that was too afraid to ask. I wanted to know who that woman was because I had recognised her from somewhere. Then I saw where the shattering glass came from as I was walking into my dad's bedroom. There was a photo frame on the floor with the picture slightly hanging out. I looked at the picture to find the same woman that was at the door, holding me as a baby. Having looked at it a little longer I had a slight realisation that it was a family photo. There being a big chance that she is possibly my mum. I needed to ask my dad but I didn't know where he was going to be. So I guessed I would just have to wait for him to come back home. I was starting to get worried when I heard the front door slam again. So I ran into the hallway to witness my dad drunk out of his mind. I tried to talk to him. To try and help him sober up but he would start shouting at me and then drinking more alcohol. I didn't know what to do cause I had no one that I could call, I couldn't ring my grandparents because my nan died a couple years ago. My grandad is in an old people's home as he has Alzheimer's.

As time went on my dad got worse. He had developed a drug addiction and ended up overdosing a couple times. I felt so lonely and abandoned. I was left to do everything, I didn't know what I was doing, I was only thirteen. I didn't know how to cook he never really had the time to teach. He would mentally abuse me, saying how useless I was and how I was the reason my mum left us. Never would I have thought, that loving father I used to know would turn into a monster.

I was so confused.

WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO...

I had no one.

But anyways I'm nineteen years old now and I've finally got enough money to get THE HELL out of this toxic place. The place that I will NEVER call "my home" again.

And of course my dad is still a dickhead and I promise that I will make sure that the words that I say to him before I walk out that front door...

Will be the LAST words I will ever say to him.

Oh and don't worry I will make those last words VERY special.......