1
I am not sabotaging myself, I'm just done with dating. I can't do it anymore. I am so sick of first dates that I feel like I'm watching the same movie for 4 years straight.
That's why I've decided to take a break. Or call it quit, whichever makes you feel better because I don't care anymore, I'm out of this dating cycle. Out, over, forever.
Okay maybe that's a little dramatic. Maybe not forever but probably for a long time.
"Sure, find yourself, love yourself, focus on your own happiness, I'm totally one hundred percents with you on this. You don't have to rush, you got time honey." My best friend always gets me. She supports me no matter what other people think, and I am so lucky that everyone around me supports me on this decision.
I'm in the right circle of friends. At least I've achieved that.
"It took me eight years to find Matt so don't worry, you'll meet the right person at the right time. God has plans for everything, trust Him," she hugs me as I nod. I was with her when she dated all those guys, and I was with her when she comes home from her third date with Matt, telling me he's the one.
"If you feel like talking to a guy, you can come to me." My grandpa grins from his usual spot on the sofa. I run to him and give him a big hug, "Of course I would go to the manliest guy on earth!"
"Second manliest guy on earth is also here for you," Matt says as I am starting to become overwhelmed with feelings, "Awww you guys!"
"Guess I'm the third manliest guy on earth?" Toffer asks while standing at the doorway, removing his jacket to hang it in the coat cabinet.
I am definitely the luckiest girl in the world. I have the best grandparents, the best mom, the best step dad, the best best friend, even if my love life sucks.
"Where's Kai? I thought he's with you this weekend?" Mom asks Toffer when he hugs her briefly, his face is red perhaps from the low temperature outside.
"He's staying with Lauren for her cousin's wedding."
"Last week it's a visit from her parents. This week a wedding. I guess next week is a surprised holiday?" She asks cynically as Toffer smiles, "That's okay. I can still see him on weekdays."
"She can't hog all the weekends. I wanna see my grandson too."
"Ask her to get you another then." He curls a hand on my shoulder as I nudge him on his chest.
"Well she's on dating strike, if you haven't heard." I thought she supports me? With that God has plans for everything speech but now she sounds like she's mocking me.
"Oh that's how grandpa becomes the manliest guy on earth?" They laugh as they cheer on the beer.
"Ninaaaaaaaa," Lily suddenly shows up on the stairs as everybody turns to her.
"Oh hi Toffer." Her tone immediately changes once she sees the guy beside me. I giggle at her face expression as he greets her back, "Hey Lil."
She blushes and looks at me again, "I need to ask you something."
"Okay."
"Upstairs."
"Oh? Ooookay?" I get up when Mom interjects her, "Ask Nina about what?"
"Girl stuff." She shrugs.
"I'm a girl."
"No you're Mom." She rolls her eyes when I'm already standing by her side. She pulls me upstairs before Mom starts again.
Mom and I are best friends but Lily seems to be a little bit hesitant to share stuffs. Perhaps because she's in her 40s and Lily is only 14. But seriously, Mom is cool, we can talk about anything under the sun. I still don't get why it's so hard for Lily to open up to Mom but easily does it with me.
"I can never understand how you live with that hot stuff but still a virgin." She murmurs when we are walking to her room.
"Because I am a Christian." And I am proud at practicing my belief.
"Well I'm also a Christian but I've had three-"
"Okay I don't need to hear that again Lil. It's a life choice, just like how I choose to be with you right now instead of spending time downstairs."
She hops on her bed as she inhales, then exhales, inhales, exhales, inhales, "You're asking me here to watch you breath?"
"Can I borrow money from you?" I raise an eyebrow hearing the word money.
"I want an iphone."
"You got one," I forward my direction to the phone she has in her hand, the one I gave her when I upgraded mine three months ago.
"I want the latest version. The one that you use."
"Oh gurllll," I anchor my hands on each side of my waist, getting ready to give a sassy speech when she shows her puppy eyes, "Please Nina please please please."
"You're not getting a priviledge just because you have a big sister," I begin, "Mom will kill me if she knows I give you even a dollar to buy you a phone. Are you crazy? No, Lil. I'm not lending you any money. I still haven't found my one true love so I'm not keen to be dead before that happens."
"Your one true love is downstairs, you ignorant! Now lend me the money so you can die in peace!" I jump on her as I wrap my hands around her neck, "Talk to me like that again, I dare you!"
"Gimme the money!"
"Errr guys?" Suddenly a deep voice startle both of us. We turn around to find Toffer standing by the door with an awkward expression.
"What?!" I grit my teeth as my hands are still on her, legs straddling the tiny frame beneath me.
"Thought we should get going by now?" He scratches his head, still looking unsure, probably deciding it's not the right time to appear while I'm on a mission to strangle my little sister.
"What time is it?" I ask him annoyedly as I palm my hand to her face before letting her go. She pulls my hair when I'm about to go down the bed, "What the fuck?!" I turn to her again to smack her but a pair of hands already grab me from behind.
"Let me go!" I shout at the top of my lung when he distances us from Lily.
"Let me go, asshole!" I struggle as he keeps on hugging me from behind, locking my hands in his. Lily smirks as she fixes her hair.
"I'll let you go if you promise not to hurt anyone."
"She fucking asked money from me!" I shout again, making a statement so he'll understand and let me go, so I can destroy this bitch. How dare she asks me money for the fact I've invested thousands on her.
"For what, Lil?" He asks in his big brother tone.
"I just wanna buy a new phone."
"What happen to your phone?" He asks, concerned. Oh I really wanna smack this bitch when she acts all innocent, "Nothing, I just want a new one. It's not like I ask her to give me for free. I just wanna borrow it."
"Like you've been borrowing my money since ancient ago, oh I know I'll never get them back!" I shout again when he tightens his grip.
"Ouch it hurts!" He immediately lets me go and turns me around, "Sorry sorry sorry! Sorry, where does it hurt? Here?"
He rubs my arms as I push him, "It hurts here," I show him my heart, "When you're on her side instead of mine!"
"Here?" His hand rubs my breasts as I smack him on the head, "You pervert!"
"You said it hurts there," he shrugs as he laughs along with Lily who's tearing on the floor now. Pervert 1, Pervert 2, just great.
