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Overcoming Fear | bxb

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Summary

Leo is a twenty-two year old who struggles with DID as a result of the rough life he was forced to go through at a young age. From his parents dying when he was young to being abused and bullied by the new family he's adopted into. He's now an adult and has since moved out of his abusive household but unfortunately right back into a new one. With the abuser now being his boyfriend of eight years. Leo's given up all hope of being happy, until one day out of the blue he reconnects with a person from his past that's determined to help him. WARNING: This story will contain struggles with mental health, depressing and/or suicidal thoughts and behaviors as well as mental and physical abuse.

Status
5yrs ago
Chapters
8
Rating
5.0 (1 review)
Age Rating
16+

Terms and definitions

Definition of DID:

A disorder characterized by the presence of two or more distinct personality states. Dissociative identity disorder, previously called multiple personality disorder, is usually a reaction to trauma as a way to help a person avoid bad memories.


What is an Alter?

People with dissociative identity disorder have two or more alternate personalities known as alters. These alters have distinct names, behaviors, memories, voices, and ways of viewing the world. In some cases, an alter may also have a different gender, ethnicity, or age. Some alters may be animals.


What is a system?

The personalities may be referred to as alter personalities, alternates, or alters. Collectively, they are referred to as a system. They are experienced by the patient as distinct and separate individuals, with their own way of perceiving the world and responding to it.


What causes DID?

The main cause of DID is believed to be severe and prolonged trauma experienced during childhood, including emotional, physical or sexual abuse.


Symptoms of DID:

Behavioral: impulsivity, self-destructive behavior, or self-harm
Mood: anxiety, feeling detached from self, or mood swings.
Psychological: altered consciousness, depression, or flashback.
Also common: amnesia or blackout.



-- DIFFERENT KINDS OF ALTERS --


Animal Alters: Children often develop animal alters due to either being treated as an animal would be or they consider animals to be friends. This can also happen because the host was compared to an animal during the traumatic events they experienced. They should be treated like any other alter and can eventually adapt to having the human body.


Infant Alters: These alters are not able to talk. They can stay the same age and even grow up at times. Their memories consist mostly of emotions and bodily sensations.


Child/Little Alters: These alters are very common in many DID systems. There can be many littles or children within a single system. Unlike biological children, they can usually understand very complex concepts. They commonly speak and act like children. They can be a version of the host as a child, the child that was wanted, or just a trauma-free version of the host. In our system, we have Ajei. She is Native American and the host when they were with their grandmother. The reason for us to have her is to remember times from childhood when there was not abuse.


Dead Alters: This usually refers to alters who hide away from the rest of the system. They usually feel like one of the memories are where they died. We have Nikki who is a dead, she presents as a ghost alter. She died during a very traumatic abuse episode in the host’s life. A child who has a near-death experience may develop a “dead alter” to contain the experience.


Demonic Alters: Demonic alters are not actual supernatural beings, they just are in the mind. The person with these kind of alters are not possessed. That is a very important distinction because improper treatment can be very lethal to a person with this condition. They come about by the host blaming the abuse on a supernatural being or the abuser using it as a reason to hurt the child. These types of alters are usually the form of the child who was tricked into believing they are evil. These alters usually try to keep the victim loyal to their abusers, blaming instead the victim. That is not always the case and sometimes they can be helped with therapy.


Fictives: These are alters based on fictional characters.These are any alters that are based off of works of fiction that somebody in the system really enjoys. In our system, we have both Poison Ivy and JD (from “Heathers”). These alters either adapt into the fictional character or become the character to help serve a purpose in the system.


Fragments: These alters are ones who hold a specific emotion or memory. They usually do not hold too great of an effect on the system. Most fragments only hold part of an event. If a system has many fragments than it is likely that if all those fragments were to integrate, they would reveal the entire event.


Gatekeeper Alter: These alters help prevent traumatized alters from fronting. This can be important because there is a chance that the trauma holders may want to harm the body. We have two gatekeepers. One is to prevent the little alters from coming out at a serious or important environment. The other is to keep the trauma from not fronting but harming, when they do front.


Persecutors: These alters are ones that often act in harmful ways, but have protective intentions. They usually have distorted views of reality. Sometimes, they can come out to keep the hosts from disclosing an abuser or punish a child alter for telling somebody about the abuse. They are often described as “misguided protectors” because they want to keep the host from reliving what they have gone through.


Protectors: Oftentimes they are the first alters to appear. Their job is to protect the host from any trauma that they can. Oftentimes, even taking the place so they experience the trauma instead. They try to manage feelings of anger and shame. Out of the types of alters, They focus the most on defense. It is common for them to also have self-destructive behaviors, including eating disorders. They can also be very aggressive verbally at times. Protectors often view themselves as people of strength.


Extra info.

There are more alters than this and they all do different things, this is just a few of the most common ones. As you probably know every system is different, some systems can range from as little as five alters to fifty and even more than that.


Some systems can have every alter imaginable while others could just have multiple different ones that are put in the same catergory. (ex: two different alters are both "protectors" but they each do & protect different things about the host.)


A/N: None of the examples used in these are about me as I do not have DID, but the are however taken from someone who does have DID.
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