Nirvana

NICHOLAS SAT NERVOUSLY in the waiting room, biting on his thumbnail. Below the table, his knee continued to bounce up and down, never slowing down. He’d never done anything like this, but knowing he wanted to do something that mattered, and help fellow community members that want their own child, but physically couldn’t have one, he felt good. He knew in his heart he was making the right decision.

Taking his thumb out his mouth, he raised his wrist, checking the time on his watch. The couple should be here in about five to ten more minutes. Grabbing the small glass of wine, knowing it was probably his last time having some for nine months, he downed the glass.

“Shit that’s good,” he hummed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“I bet it was. Enjoy dat shit, cause it’s gon be yo’ last fo a while.”

Vision snapping to the direction of the deep, baritone voice, Nicholas gulped. There stood a nigga, probably a little older than him. He was fine as hell, that’s one thing. The man began to move one of the two seats that sat across from Nicholas. Observing the man ahead, it took everything to remind himself that this man was taken, and getting ready to have a baby with someone else.

Hell, a look won’t hurt.

Starting at his hair, that was slightly dreaded, a fresh line-up sat against his forehead, crisp and new. He had small gashes in his forehead, a similar look to potholes or something. His eyelashes were long and wispy, protecting honey colored eyes that were almost captivating in a sense. His lips were pink, and his skin was clear.

“Umm, you aight?” He heard, causing him to snap out his gaze before his eyes connected with hazel ones.

“S-sorry. I’m fine, a nigga just nervous, that’s all.” Giving a slight laugh at the end, trying to cut the tension up a bit, there was a small chuckle from the fine man before it was quiet again.

They waited awkwardly for about two minutes - that felt more like twenty - before a guy almost the same height as nick, walked into the room. He had a cut similar to Kentrell’s. He walked in, a hand on his hip as they switched every time he walked. He had shades on, and he wore a one-piece jumpsuit.

“Whose this, Kenny?” The man inquired, setting his purse down on the ground beside his chair. Nicholas watched as they shared a quick kiss, the fine one throwing his arm around the less finer man’s chair once he sat all the way down.

‘who the fuck else would it be? your at a surrogate meeting, bitch’ is what Nicholas wanted to say, but that would be fifty-thousand dollars down the damn drain, and who had time to be throwing away that type of money?

“If you like me, then I would be your surrogate...” Nick trailed off, a dread falling into his face, causing him to pause, pinning it back into the bun on top of his head.

“Oh.” The boy with the acrylic’s said, slightly scrunching his face up. He changed it quickly, but Nick had already noticed it, and so had the man beside him.

“Hello, Hello!” They heard, causing their vision to waltz over to Mrs. Shannan. She was in charge of setting up meetings between potential surrogates and parents.

“Well, this is last person that fits exactly what you guys were looking for! I feel like Nicholas would be just the perfect match for you all. He’s new to the surrogacy, so this would be a nice experience for the three of you,” The middle-aged white woman spoke as she sat her briefcase on the ground under the table. She then took a seat beside Nicholas, giving him a small pat on the back.

“Nicholas,” She started, causing him to hum. “This is Kentrell Gaulden,” She introduced, pointing to the man with the dents in his head, causing Nicholas to give a small smile.

“And this,” She then pointed his attention to the boy beside Kentrell, “Is Christian.” Again, Nicholas gave a small smile, as to which the boy just hummed back, not even a twitch of his lips.

Wanting to jack his bitch ass up, Nicholas decided against it, and just kept it professional, choosing to ignore the rude exchange, and giving his attention Shannan.

“Let’s start with Kentrell and Christian. What are some things you’re looking for in your surrogate?”

It was quiet for a few seconds before Kentrell spoke up. “Dey needa’ be responsible, as hell, actually. At tha end of the day, you responsible for somebody else baby. When this shit...sorry,” he started, Shannan giving a small chuckle, reassuring him that she didn’t care, he continued, “...When this shit is all said and done, that’s our baby. We needa’ know the smallest shit, not the biggest. If you feel like shit is wrong, we need someone responsible enough to speak up.”

Nicholas nodded, listening to the mans accent, somewhat smiling. That made one-hundrend-percent sense.

“What about you, Christian?” Shannan asked.

Completely ignoring the question, Christian folded his arms over his chest. “If you don’t mind me asking, which you shouldn’t, how you even able to carry our child?”

Clearing his throat, feeling slightly uncomfortable, Nick felt his cheeks heating up slightly. “I was born with a-a vagina. The uterus, eggs, vagina, the works.”

“So you’re a tranny?”

“Christian...” Kentrell gritted out, glaring at him as if he lost his damn mind.

Raising an eyebrow, Nicholas leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms. “Ion see how that matters, cause you end up gettin a child anyways, but so you can sleep better at night, no. I’m not no tranny, I was born like this.”

The tension was slightly thick as Christian and Nicholas continued to stare one another in the eye, neither backing down.

“Uh, what about you, Nicholas?” A voice interrupting their gaze, as they turned to the person who asked the question. Kentrell.

“What about me?”

“If you a surrogate, what’s yo’ rules? What you expect? Shit like dat.”

About to answer, he was cut off, Christian standing up sassily and grabbing his purse right along with him.

“What are you doing, Mr-...”

“C’mon, Kentrell. Let’s go,” Christian demanded, interrupting Shannan.

“The fuck is you doing?” Nicholas heard Kentrell whisper, Christian peeking at Nicholas before looking back at his boyfriend.

“Ion’ think he’s a good fit fo’ us, okay? We can find someone else-...”

“Excuse me fo’ one second, y’all.” Kentrell stood up, snatching his boyfriend’s purse out of his hands and throwing it onto the floor before grabbing his wrist and pulling him out the room. Nicholas watched as the couple stormed out, leaving Shannan and himself.

“Well, that went...”

“Terribly,” Nick finished, “...What’s his problem, anyways? I’m doing them a favor.”

Shannan sighed, running a hand over her forehead as if she was checking her temperature. “You would be our sixty-eighth interview. Mr. Gaulden always has reasonable enough reasons for denying a surrogate, but Christians denied every surrogate except one,” She explained, grabbing a folder out of her brief case and handing it to Nicholas.

He opened the folder, his face scrunching up. “She’s ugly as hell,” he said, letting out a small chuckle.

Shannan did the same before taking the folder back. “Exactly. Christian is scared someone is gonna’ come onto Mr. Gaulden during their term.”

Nicholas rolled his eyes. Sure, Kentrell was fine, more than fine actually -- but that’s doing a little too fucking much. But then again, look at Christian and look at Kentrell... he couldn’t blame Christian cause if he looked like him, he’d be scared too.

The door to the meeting room opened up once again, and they heard a slight “go the fuck on,” before Christian was damn near stomping into the room, his bottom lip stuck in a pout childishly and his face scrunched up.

He sat down angrily, Kentrell sitting down as well before planting a smile on his face.

“Ma’ fault fo’ that. He just a little grouchy today, he ain’t like this all the time.”

Everyone in that room knew what he just said was a lie.

“It ain’t no thing.” Nicholas reassured, also lying as well, which caused Christian to huff loudly.

“Anyways, can we see his folder?” Christian asked, irritability in his voice, but Nicholas ignored it as he grabbed his folder and slid it to him slowly.

Kentrell scoot closer before they both examined his folder quietly. “You only twenty one, you sho’ you wanna’ be pregnant so young?”

Nicholas shrugged, “Ian’ raising it. I just wanted to help, knowing two men can’t forreal have no children, and with me being blessed,” There was a snicker from Christian which caused Nicholas to scrunch his face up, but he said nothing, just continued on answering Kentrell’s question, “With me being blessed, I wanted to help basically.”

At that, Kentrell glanced up, giving a small smile to Nicholas, who smiled back at the sight of his diamond like grills being shown.

They must got money, or he got money.

“You don’t have no type health complications?” Kentrell asked.

Nick shook his head no. “Not none I know of. Plus, they test you before you can even start interviewing.”

“There is...one catch though,” Shannan said, causing Nicholas to sigh. He knew at the end of this, he would not be walking out of here fifty-thousand dollars richer.

“I knew it,” Christian spoke, a big smile on his face as he sat up happily.

“Under the circumstances, Nicholas will not have any legal rights to the fetus, but he will in fact have connected DNA. Because he is carrying eggs, and you,” she pointed towards Christian, “are not, it will not one-hundred percent be yours. It will have Kentrell’s DNA, and Nicholas’s, but it is still legally, both of you all’s child.”

Christian scoffed, getting out of his seat, grabbing his purse and storming out the room angrily. Kentrell sat there quietly, staring at the folder for a moment before frowning a bit.

“We gon’ think about it, thank you, Nicholas.” He politely said, Nicholas knowing he was being formally declined.

They stood up, Kentrell placing his hand out across the table, Nicholas’s hand being engulfed in the mans slightly bigger hand. They firmly shook before disconnecting, Nicholas sitting back down as he watched Kentrell gather his things and leave the room.

“Well,” Shannan said, rubbing Nicholas’s back, “We saw that coming.”

Nicholas sighed. He saw it coming, but he didn’t want it to come.

Fifty-thousand dollars -- just lost.

Great.

// :

“I mean I knew it was prolly a deal breaker, but stillllll,” Nicholas whined, his sister quietly listening as she continued to apply the face mask to his already clear skin.

It had been two days since the surrogacy meeting, and he hadn’t gotten a single call, text, or email from Shannan about Kentrell and Christian. He didn’t even know why he was waiting for one, because he knew they were probably looking for other candidates by now.

“Just give it time, Nicky. You was they last forreal option, right?” Solange asked as she closed the bottle, reaching over to sit it on the coffee table, exchanging it for the remote.

Nicholas laid on his back, staring up at the ceiling with his head laid on Siggi’s lap. He sighed, “Yeah their last option for that company. There’s more companies they can go to.”

There a slight frown on his face as the meeting replayed in his vision. He knew the meeting was going weirdly, definitely because of Christian, but he wasn’t even worried about that. The fifty-thousand dollars sounded really good, and because he wanted to feel like he was helping. He wanted to feel like he was enough.

Putting on ‘Criminal Minds’ and sitting the remote on the floor, she then exchanged it for the coconut oil and began to oil her brother’s scalp, running her fingers through his dreaded hair in a lazy manner.

“I mean, if ain’t meant to be, then it just ain’t.”

Sighing, Nicholas nodded his head slightly. Internally, he knew his sister was right, but he’d never admit it aloud. “How’s you and Jeremy?”

Hearing a small groan from his sister, Nicholas chuckled. “Not gettin nooo better?”

“Hell no. Yesterday, I guided him so easily. Bae, just lick it, don’t be aggressive with it, okay? He says okay, but when it’s time to eat my shit up, he bit my clit, Nicky.” She had a small frown in her voice as she whined.

A laugh flying from Nicholas’s mouth, he couldn’t help but hold his chest, feeling as if he couldn’t breathe at all. “H-he bit yo c-clit?!” He screamed, sitting up and raising his hand to the sky so he could breathe.

“O-Oh my gosh,” he laughed, coughing loudly as he tried to gain his breath back. Once he felt like he was better, he laid his head back on his sisters lap, all to look up and see her glaring at him.

“I’m sorry, Siggi, but that shit made me clutch ma’ pearls. Did you have to put ice assum’ on it?”

She looked away in embarrassment, Nicholas letting out a small snicker which caused her to flick him on the tip of his nose.

“I wish a nigga would literally slice they sharp ass teeth on this precious ass clit. I’d beat his muthafuckin’ head in.” He couldn’t even imagine what he’d do to someone. I mean, what could you really do in that predicament except for get them the fuck up off you & away from you.

“Anywayyyysss,” Solange strung out, changing the subject, “Wassup with you and Johnathan lanky light ass?”

Nicholas rolled his eyes. “Please don’t get me started on his bitch ass. I told him about the surrogate shit, right?“, he sat up, grabbing the water bottle from off of the coffee table, the mask he had on his face beginning to dry and tear.

Solange hummed which proctored her brother to continue on with his story.

“Yeah so, we got into it over that. You know he been asking me to have his baby fo’ bout two years now? But that bitch ain’t paying me fifty-thousand dollars to have his baby, and that’s what I was tryna’ explain...but he wasn’t tryna’ hear that shit.”

“That’s stupid as fuck, and he’s as retarded as he got damn looks.” Solange complained. Nicholas and Johnathan been together since seniors in high school, so for about three years now. He was aspiring to be a rapper, which wasn’t getting him no damn where, while Nicholas was currently doing online classes, pushing himself further to his goal -- a Social Worker.

Nicholas loved kids, and he knew being a surrogate probably wasn’t the best idea, seeing as he knew he’d get attached to the seed he was carrying, but he needed that money to continue to put him through college. The small job as a waitress wasn’t doing it.

Solange had her own shit going on and stayed with her boyfriend Jeremy. She had already graduated and had a good job working as a brokers secretary deep in Atlanta.

Nicholas stayed deep in East Atlanta, a small one -bedroom apartment, big enough for just him and himself. Although he seemed to get lonely, he liked living alone, sometimes. He was thinking about getting some type of pet or something.

“You got work tonight?”

Nicholas sighed. He hated having nightly shifts, but they brought in the most money between hourly pay and tips. The only downside apart from that was the fact that a lot of drunks and perverted truck drivers came in near the times he worked.

“Mhm,” he hummed, “nine to two tonight.”

Solange rolled her eyes. “Didn’t you just have a double shift yesterday?” She inquired. She hated how much that run down ass diner worked her brother, like he was some slave or something. She wanted him to desperately come with at her position, but she knew how her brother was, and he honestly wasn’t the brightest with numbers.

Humming, Nicholas got up, stretching lightly, the face mask starting to dry and peel off. Solange also stood up, gathering her keys, phone, and purse in her hand.

“I love you nicky, and make sure you call me when you make it home tonight, alright?” She placed a kiss on his forehead before making her way out.

“Call me!” She yelled one last time, before the door was shut, leaving Nicholas once again, all alone.

// :

He hadn’t even been at the diner for an hour and he was already ready to go home. He was tired of men calling him a tranny, feeling up on him, cursing him out, and just all around giving him a hard ass time.

Right now, he was behind the dinner, filling up all the sugar containers one by one, since those seemed to be the only things low. Because a lot of truckers would arrive during this time, they mostly drunk coffee to wake themselves up if they had a short amount of drive to complete.

“Hey Nicholas,” He heard. He didn’t even have to look up to see who it was calling his name.

“Wassup Barbra, finna’ get off?”

She smiled. She was a middle aged women, that reminded Nicholas a lot of his own grandmother. She was short, about four eleven in stature, with beautiful grey hair. She was really sweet and somehow always smelled like apricots and mint. It was a weird mixture of scent but it worked for her.

“Yes suga, you sho you gon be alright?” she asked. she asks the nick the same thing every night. then she’ll lay a ten dollar bill in his hand, kiss him on the cheek, and leave the diner.

“I’m fine, Barbra, you know dat. How’s yo granddaughter?“, he put the last sugar tin back before stuffing some napkins in the pocket of his apron.

“She’s good, baby. Livin’ on ha’ own and everything. Here you go, you be safe na,” she yelled, laying the ten dollars on the counter and then walking out, the bell slightly ringing against the door.

Nicholas followed, doing what he usually did, standing at the glass door and making sure the women made it to her vehicle and out of the driveway safely. Once she did, he was moved toward a random table, cleaning up the mess they left and the picking up the folder five dollar bill. He stuffed it in his pocket, making his way back to the kitchen when the bell rung, signaling someone walked into the diner.

Around ten o’clock is when Nicholas was the only one scheduled to be working besides the cook. The boss wasn’t even here, making Nicholas the manager and runner for the night.

“I’ll be with you inna’ second!” he yelled, as he walked back to the kitchen, throwing the dishes in the sink before making his way back to the floor.

Walking with his head down, he was going in the right direction, having already memorized the floor plan of his job.

“Hey, my name is Nicholas, I’ll be takin’ care of you fo tonight, can I start you off wit somethin’ ta drink?” He asked sweetly, taking the pad and pen out of his apron pocket, finally looking up at the customer.

“Kentrell?” he gasped, looking to see the man with a scowl on his face.

“Waddup.”

Nicholas scrunched his face up. Had the interview really gone that bad? Hell, Kentrell was the nice one, so he was confused as to why he was getting such hateful treatment now.

“A-are you okay?” Nick inquired, taking into account the fact the man had his hood covering his face, and sunglasses on, even though he was inside at ten o’clock at night.

“Say, I’m straight. I want a sprite, preesh-aite-it.” He said curtly, before turning his head towards the window, avoiding Nick’s gaze.

Feeling uneasy, Nicholas frowned, but did as asked. He placed a straw on the table before making his way towards the fountain drinks. Grabbing a cup, he filled up with light ice and poured the sprite into it, watching the bubbles stick to the side of the glass and as the ice floated towards the top.

He grabbed a small packet of blueberry cotton candy, before making his way back towards Kentrell, who sat scrolling on his phone.

“Here you go,” He said sweetly, before also throwing the cotton candy down on the table.

Kentrell raised an eyebrow, although Nicholas couldn’t tell. “Was’ dis fo?”

Nicholas grabbed his drink, Kentrell watching quietly as the smaller opened the packet of cotton candy, breaking it apart a little before throwing it into the sprite, letting it dissolve, stirring the cotton candy into the sprite to help dissolve it fully.

“It’s called a Shirley Temple. Try it,” he insisted, pushing the drink towards the older, watching as he hesitantly took a sip of the drink. Nicholas watched as the corners of his lips stretched slightly.

“You like?” Nicholas teased, smiling when Kentrell gave a head nod and started drinking a bit more.

Nicholas watched as the man took his hood off, but not his shades. He continued to drink the mixture, Nick’s eyes trailing towards his adams apple that bobbed ever so slightly. Gulping, he coughed, clearing his throat awkwardly before pulling out his note pad.

“Are you ready ta’ order, or you gon’ need a little minute?”

Kentrell shrugged, “Sit.” He demanded, pointing his head in the direction of the booth seat across from him.

“I-I can’t-...” He insisted. But what the hell, it was just him, Kentrell, and the cook in the diner right now.

Setting the pad down on the table, he slid into the booth across from the older, more attractive man before giving a small smile.

“So, how’s the surrogate looking going?” He wasn’t exactly asking because he cared. He was slightly bitter and jealous.

Kentrell shrugged. “We ain’t find nobody. Well, I ain’t find nobody that appeals ta’ me like yo’ lil ass did.”

Nicholas felt his cheeks somewhat heat up, and he knew they were a crimson red by now. Kentrell caught a glimpse of the blushing face and somewhat smiled.

“It took a bit of convincin’ but, we was gon’ call you tomorrow ta let you know the good news. We want you ta’ be our surrogate.”

“SHUT UP!” Nicholas yelled, standing up, causing Kentrell to scrunch his face up, peering up at him.

“Say, sitcho’ ass down.”

It could be plenty of reasons why Nicholas felt the need to clench his thighs, why the liquid in stomach felt like it was swirling around his insides and why his mouth instantly went dry. It could have been that it was late, it could have been because he’d hadn’t had sex in about a month, or it could have been the fact Kentrell was super attractive, fine as hell, and the raspy voice on-top of the accent was swirling around his brain, but whatever the reason, he sat down quickly, blushing in embarrassment.

“Shit. My fault, lil’ slime. Ian’ mean ta blow up on you like dat. I’m stressed the fuck out,” Kentrell confessed, causing Nicholas to shrug.

“Don’t apologize, Kentrell, it’s fine.”

Nicholas watched as the man took the glasses off his face, running his hands down his face before taking a deep breath.

“Are you sure everything is-- what the fuck happened to your face?!” Nicholas said abruptly, watching as Kentrell froze in place. He’d been so caught up in his thoughts, he forgot about what the shit was going with his face.

“Come here,” Nicholas grabbed his hand, standing up and pulling him towards the staff bathroom.

“It ain’t een’ dat serious, Nicholas.” The older sighed.

“Not that fuckin’ serious? Kentrell look at yo’ fuckin’ face,” Nicholas seethed, pushing Kentrell into the bathroom, the lights instantly turning on due to motion sensory. He then pushed Kentrell in front of the mirror, who examined himself before sighing.

There were red scratched all over his face, maybe five or six all over. The top of his lip was slightly busted and his right eye was turning a darker color, swollen to about twice it’s normal size.

Nicholas grabbed a paper towel, wetting it in the sink next over before moving to Kentrell, forcing him to bend down since he was a bit taller than him. Nothing too serious. Three or four inches maybe.

Pressing the paper towel to one of the deeper gashes on Kentrell’s face, the man above him winced in slight pain. “Shit, Nick.” He laid both hands on the boy’s waist, Nicholas slightly faltering as his breath seemed to grow heavier. The atmosphere was thick, the tension was high as their bodies lay about an inch away from one another’s.

Continuing to clean him up, Kentrell got tired of bending his knee’s, so he stood to his full height, causing Nicholas to stand on his tiptoes. He winced, pulling away and gnawing at his bottom lip.

“I’m s-sorry.” He whispered, feeling Kentrell’s hand grip him tighter, somewhat sliding down to the lower section of his back.

“He did this?”

Kentrell sighed. “Please don’t rethink the surrogate shit, aight? I been wanting a kid fo’ a minute now. I’m twenty-six, and I make six figures a fuckin’ year. On ma’ top I can love and take care of dis’ baby, just please...”

Nicholas put a finger on top of his lips, shushing him softly. “Hey, Hey. I’m not rethinking it. Shh, just tell me what happened.”

“We got into it ova’ you. He ain’t want you as a surrogate, but you our best option, forreal. He started throwing shit at me, hittin’ me and shit. Ian wanna fuck his ass up like I know I can, so I left.”

“Please don’t take this baby, away mane. I swear, he wouldn’t lay no fuckin’ finger on ma’ lil baby...”

Nicholas shook his head,“Kentrell hush. I’m not taking shit from you, I promise. Just chill. Ima carry dis’ baby fo’ you, aight?”

Kentrell looked down, his hands continuing to grip the smaller, lighter boys frame. It was quiet between the two as they continued to stare at one another. Honey eyes continued to draw the lighter in, and soon the gap between them was closing.

Nicholas could feel the mans breath on his lips, their noses touching tip to tip. A single hand came up, the pad of Kentrell’s finger rubbing against his cheek. Eyes connecting with the pink tongue that darted out to look his lips, Nicholas couldn’t take it anymore. Wrapping a hand around Kentrell’s neck, he yanked him down, connecting their lips forcefully into a fiery kiss.

Moaning softly, Kentrell’s hands instantly gripped the boys ass, palming the cheeks in his hand as their bodies moved in rhythm, talking to one another without using words. Their lips connected perfectly, like matching puzzle pieces.

“Shit,” Kentrell grunted, pushing Nicholas away from him, both panting a loud. Kentrell looked away, quietly thinking to himself.

“He ain’t shit fasho, but cheating on him...I’d be worse den he is,” Kentrell whispered.

Nicholas gave a frown, “I am s-so sorry. I don’t know what came ova’ me...” he was cut off when Kentrell placed a small kiss on his forehead.

“Be safe, aight? We’ll call you tomorrow.” And with that, he walked out the bathroom.

Nicholas bit the bottom of his lip, contemplating nervously. He leaned against the wall, still out of breath as he placed a finger against his lips, eyes fluttering closed in a soft manner.

what would happen tomorrow?

a.n] on me, ian’ know how the fuck to end this chapter, but I like it. Hopefully you like it too. I’m excited for them to be sneaking arou-oops I den already said too damn much.

Y’all enjoy y’all night and don’t mind any typos and shit. I didn’t feel like going back to correct it.

boujeeheauxx

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