Today
Today
By MaeLynn Lansdowne
Today I tried to take my life
I ran around and gave up the fight
I soaked in my own tears in blood which felt like awhile
And in the end I finally gave up my smile
Today I tried to take my life
I cut so deep it felt nothing like a knife
I’m successful at everything I’m in
Yet life itself I don’t know where to begin
Today I tried to take my life
I told everyone I loved them
And I told them goodnight
They didn’t know what I met
But still told me goodnight and then I went
Today I tried to take my life
I have scared for now and more from past fights
My abuser was free! He got away
And left me here to sit in this gray
His married and Happy with two kids
While here hoping on day I’ll outlive these bids
Today I tried to take my life
I reflected on what was good in my life
I put on a face that everyone loved
But really deep down I just needed a hug
I suffer in silence, it’s what I do
To show people I’m strong and it pleased you
Today I tried to take my life
I wrote long messages to everyone I liked
It was hard to start writing to them
Not knowing if they will still be my friend
in the end
I write this at the lowest point in my life
I’m too sad to keep putting up a fight
Suicide is never a delight
I wish you all a beautiful night
