Today

Today

By MaeLynn Lansdowne

Today I tried to take my life

I ran around and gave up the fight

I soaked in my own tears in blood which felt like awhile

And in the end I finally gave up my smile

Today I tried to take my life

I cut so deep it felt nothing like a knife

I’m successful at everything I’m in

Yet life itself I don’t know where to begin

Today I tried to take my life

I told everyone I loved them

And I told them goodnight

They didn’t know what I met

But still told me goodnight and then I went

Today I tried to take my life

I have scared for now and more from past fights

My abuser was free! He got away

And left me here to sit in this gray

His married and Happy with two kids

While here hoping on day I’ll outlive these bids

Today I tried to take my life

I reflected on what was good in my life

I put on a face that everyone loved

But really deep down I just needed a hug

I suffer in silence, it’s what I do

To show people I’m strong and it pleased you

Today I tried to take my life

I wrote long messages to everyone I liked

It was hard to start writing to them

Not knowing if they will still be my friend

in the end

I write this at the lowest point in my life

I’m too sad to keep putting up a fight

Suicide is never a delight

I wish you all a beautiful night