01
"Fuck my life," I whisper to myself.
As I lay down on the dew-dotted turf, I continue to wonder. Buried deep in the thoughts of my earlier existence, my eyes peer at the dawn sky that seems boundless. I was neither cruel nor selfish, yet treated in a way that no human being deserves. A list of unforgiving calamities accomplished by fiendish individuals who dared to label themselves as my 'friends'. Friends are our social angels. These backstabbers were demons. My demons.
These entities swarmed my past. Way too many to record at this moment. The awful nightmares they tattooed into my memories spaded an appalling, almost soulless void within me. I have no purpose. I am heartless. The decisions I follow are based on their meticulous achievements in ruining my barely lived life. Why did they do it? Only they can answer the burning questions, and I most definitely don't wish to be the one asking.
I widen my eyes at the sight of the time on my wristwatch; quarter past nine and I'm supposed to be at work. My job may appear idle to those who watch down on me as a tragic case, but to me, it is a chance at a better way of life. Since a young age, my route to an ordinary life had been obliterated. I remain among the ruins, fighting my way through, and no matter how many hurricanes have passed, I'm surprisingly still alive.
I raise my bike off the grass and cycle out the park's gates, onto the hectic streets of Blackwood. A regular Saturday as yellow cabs hustle through the traffic and pedestrians overtake the entire pavement attempting to reach their destinations on time. The avenues are wide and filled with fancy shops and expensive houses. Most of Blackwood's population congregate here because it's where the jobs and opportunities are.
This town is like many others; separated by the rich and poor societies. To make the matter more basic of this modern society, the individuals are of opposite races. I need not explain myself on that one. Uptown is the wealthy folks who are rather sick if you ask me. No sum of trust funds can suffice for their impudent attitude towards those of lower social status. Rich bastards, they don't care about anyone but themselves.
As I get closer to where I live, the crowds of people die down and the traffic lessens. The buildings are not as large and are less modern styled. The streets become narrower and smaller stores and stalls are set up for the public. Even the clubs and pubs appear less elite on my side of town, less city-like. Further to downtown, are those striving hard to earn a livelihood and who are frankly happier.
However, I settle somewhere in the midst of both, where we don't care about who is better off than who. To no surprise, I am accustomed to this tradition once more as where I am from replicates this same behavior, yet the others like me pay no mind to the drama. The sound of a car horn knocks me out of my thought bubble and I squeeze the brakes, halting in front of a navy-blue car. Pedaling to the side of the car, I tap the glass.
It rolls down enough for me to see the driver's eyes and I apologize, "Sorry dude."
"Whatever," he mumbles and speeds off.
"Asshole!" I shout after the car.
Rolling my eyes, I continue home. That guy was not going to ruin my morning. I mean I could have died because of my amazing talent to pay absolutely no attention to the real world but, on the bright side, I did not. Soon I arrive at the run-down building to shower before an entire day of interacting with bookworms. If I could just go to sleep in my comfy bed, I would be content with life. I sprint up the stairs to discover that I am locked out and I have no keys.
"Get your lazy ass up and let me in!" I yell, whacking my fist against the door.
It is 9 am on a Friday and I am outside my apartment instead of in my bed. Great! From the other side of the door, I pick up on the muffled murmurs of my roommate, maybe snuggling with her one-night stand of the weekend. I roll my eyes at the thought, hopeful that they were nowhere near my room, worse even, bed. As much as I love splitting the rent with her, she is, at moments, a pain, but I have to endure 'being nice' whether I like it or not.
Shortly after we moved in together, I returned from showering to find Kendal knocked up with a 'friend' as she claimed, on my bed. She was overly drunk to realize that she stumbled into the wrong room. To worsen the situation, the guy asked me if I wanted to have a 'threesome' with them. We immediately kicked him out and still the reminder of that episode grosses me out. And let me just include, this did not happen just once.
"Kendal! Open the door now or so help me God I will k-"
The door stretches open to reveal the said one-night stand. Honestly, I am both bewildered and thinking of all the reasons why the person standing in front of me is not a hot guy but, in fact, a woman. Her skin is a dark shade of terra-cotta and her hair in a bleached buzz cut style. She has on a yellow sundress that holds the curves of her slim figure loosely.
As much as I may be curious to know what is going on, I am not in the mood and I just happen to be late for work. She awkwardly glances away when I notice her amused gaze on me. I clear my throat and step aside, allowing her to leave the room. After all, it is my apartment and I am in dire need of a shower. She spins on her heel and waves goodbye to Cass before finally leaving.
"Nice meeting you too!" she hollers back, chuckling to herself.
I drag myself into our tiny living room, ignoring her comment. My roommate is wearing only an old band tee, dangling off the couch and dying with laughter. Her forest green eyes are weirdly glowing and her once straight, ginger hair is knotted in a sloppy bun. The after-effects of the night she previously had. She reminds me of a crazy person as her unsettling cackling further annoys my morning aura.
"What's so funny?"
"Your face," she snickers, trying to catch her breath, "You're confused, aren't you?"
Overlooking the question, I stroll into my bedroom and place my phone on the nightstand. I remove my bomber jacket and slip out my jeans before rushing into the bathroom. The scalding water relaxes my tired muscles as I scrub my hair and body, enjoying the bath I longed for. I free my mind of all worries, remaining in one place, under the heat. Although it scorches my skin, it is what I need for the sake of staying awake with no sleep.
"Where did you go last night?" Kendal questions whilst leaning on the door frame just as I finish wrapping a towel around my body.
She knows to leave the previous conversation for another day.
"Out."
She exhales, "I thought you calmed down on that crap?"
"I calmed down. Never mentioned I was done," I glimpse her face painted with concern and I do not need anyone's sympathy.
"I-"
"Nothing! You nothing! Leave me the fuck alone! It's none of your fucking business!" I lash out, my gaze penetrating her.
"Sorry."
"Whatever," I brush off as I shove past her, our shoulders colliding.
She notes my irritated tone and possibly forgets the matter, disappearing into her room opposite of mine. As often as she bothers me, she learned my limits within the brief time we have lived together so far. Today, for the hundredth time, she tested that limit, obviously failing again. I am a loner as she once described me in an exchange similar to this, and I prefer to remain this way than being the friendly person I was.
From my wardrobe, I retrieve an old pair of jeans and throw on one of my many white t-shirts. I ensure to grab my keys and jacket before I take off. Outside I stop and stare at my bicycle, contemplating if to use it or not. I skim through the plans I made for the day and realize that it would be a setback. The strange thing about birthdays is the sudden urge and excitement you feel to celebrate the day you were brought into this world but, as expected, I'm a loner.
