Damaged

Meadow pov*

I wish I could wear this dress everywhere I go I love the feeling of it.

It's see through and it shows off my chubby thighs which makes me instantly want to take it off but I don't .

"I have to try to get over my insecu-" right when I was finna give myself a long speech about how my insecurities are beautiful

I looked down at my feet which made me instantly lose my train of thought .

I hate my feet and my hands there just so big I wear a size ten in a half in men so when I put on dress I have to wear sneakers because my feet are to long and ugly for high heels .

My hands are like men size so when I get paired with a boy for a projects all they want to do is compare my hands .

It's not like their really really huge there just rough and larger then most girls .

I look back at the dress to get the negative thoughts out of my mind

After taking pictures of the dress for a few minutes I take it off and lay on my bed with my bra and underwear

Just daydreaming how it would be if I could just escape the world and go to my own imaginary world

Where all the houses are cottage , everybody knows each other , everyone nice to one another ,and there will be a big library big then any library you ever seen and I would own it

I would get to wear my cottage core dresses I'd get to sit outside on a bench by a garden and read a book

And I would have two dogs named sanji and zoro ,a bird named usopp , cat named Naomi, and a bunny named chopper

It would just be and my animals in a cottage together living life to its fullest

I love cottage houses but I also love the city I feel like the city is for me but so is the cottage houses

I wish my best friend Caleb was here he would love my ideas we always thought the same things

If Caleb was still alive I probably wouldn't be so damaged how I am right now

I wish he would tell me I'm pretty again or how much he loves my skin tone and how my body doesn't define who I am

We were young when he told me that but Caleb was a smart Blue haired genius the smartest kid anyone has ever seen he had scholarships at the age of six

but I ruined his career if he wasn't my friend he probably would've still been alive probably would've been off to collage at age fourteen but how selfish I was and how I thought about my problems and not his I didn't see that he was hearting just like me but worst

Thinking about Caleb always made me wanna cry but I knew he wouldn't want me to cry so instead of crying I put on some joggers and a baggy shirt with my white Air Force ones and I grab my keys and walk out my parents house to my car

I decided that today for once I'm going to do something I wanna do and I won't let people judge me on it I don't know what's gonna happen because I'm only sixteen but I want to Remember caleb in a positive way and not a bad way

So instead of driving to a tattoo place in bay ville I went to the next town which was a hour away

When I ended up at jacent park I find a tattoo place called

"The way to express"

It look pretty cool but I'm scared because this is going to be my first ever tattoo

But I want to prove that I'm brave that I don't need society opinions on my life so I get out of my old beat down car and go inside the shop

I look around a little bit to see the person art work which is beautiful it's like every drawing or tattoo they do they take their time on them

It doesn't even really look like a tattoo shop it looks more like a goth convention

But it was still cute

Looking around made me forget what I was here for

"Hey what can I help you with little lady" a man says coming from the back

"U-umm I would like a tattoo" I realized what I said when I was stuttering and hurry up and changed my answer

"I know your in-" the stranger starts to say but I interrupt him

"I-I-I'm sorry of course I'm here for a tattoo it is a tattoo shop , I'm just really nervous i n-n-n-never done this before also forgive me for my rambling "

I looked down at the ground when he starts talking

" first off little lady don't ever interrupt me again and second I know it's your first time and third your forgiven" he says with a smile which would have made me blush if I wasn't black

"S-s-Sorry again but I wondering could you draw me up something that represent two broken friends please"

" not many people come in here unprepared so you must've just thought about getting a tat on your here huh " he says with his billion dollar smile

"Something like that "I mumble

"Speak up little lady " he says sternly like a father who gets on his child when they do something bad

I look him in his eyes this time " something like that"

"Ok little lady my name is Orion ,I really don't care what your name is because it still going to be little lady but just to be respectful what your name ?"

"My name is meadow and why little lady ?" I say shyly

He ignores my question " what kind of design do you want or can I freestyle the whole thing but if you let me freestyle you can't see it till I tattoo it on your body"

I was kind nervous because I barley know this Orion guy but it is the summer and summer calls for changes

"You can freestyle it I'll trust in your drawing skill " I say

"Good because this gonna be my best piece yet but while I'm drawing this take a seat in front of me real quick so I can ask you a few questions "

I do what he says and sit right in front off him and when I do I realized the color of his eyes there so bright it's like a mixture of colors of blue , green,grey

There so alluring like they just pull you in

"Are you done staring at me I know I'm gorgeous but how you looking you making me feel like a steak you want to have "he says laughing

I shyly put my head down which doesn't stay there for long because he reaches over and lift my chin up with his index finger

"Sorry for staring " i mumbled

"Imma let your mumbling slide this time but your good everyone does and also stop apologizing"

"So- I mean um what you wanted to ask me " I say instead of sorry because he looked like he would be mad if I said sorry again

"How old are you?"

"16 finna be 17"

"I don't care about your age because I'm only 18 but why do you want this tattoo?"

"It's for a close friend"

"Hmm ok why did you come to my shop ?"

"It was faraway from where I live "

" I see well that's all the questions I have and I'm done with your drawing come back tomorrow and I will tattoo you"

I tried to look over to see the drawing but his glare scared me so I sat back down in my chair

"Do I pay now or later "I say

"Since it's your first time It's free if you let me give you five tattoos of my chose anywhere I feel like "

I was kind scared because he's a stranger but he seems trustworthy and it's a new me so imma let him do it

"Ok you can do it thank you "

I get up and leave the shop before he can say anything and I drive back home and go in my room and dream about the boy with angel eyes .