β‘Prologueβ‘
Just close your eyes, the sun is going down. Youβll be alright, no one can hurt you now. Come morning light. You and Iβll be safe and sound.
Seohos POV.
I wiped my sweaty hands at the sides of my oversized hoodie as I open the door of the coffee shop. I told Hwanwoong and Geonhak to go ahead because my boyfriend texted me to go to the coffee shop next to our college.
Everyone could tell I was nervous and maybe a bit scared about whatβs going to happen now. My stomach felt like it turned upside down when I saw the text and right now I feel like I need to puke. Maybe Iβm overreacting but how do you turn negative thoughts off?
βCome after class to Berries. We have to talk.β that was what he wrote.
The first thing that comes to someoneβs mind when they hear βwe have to talkβ is a break-up.
But he wouldnβt do that right?
We love each other and have been in a relationship for two years now.
We started dating after a school project we were assigned to. It was quite romantic at that time but lately, things seemed to change.
Very cliched if you ask my friends but I love our little love story.
As I look through the room I finally see him sitting in our usual corner. But his expression makes the bad thoughts come back. He frowns, eyes fixed on his phone with a cold stare. I could feel the tensed atmosphere surrounding him
I sat down right in front of him.
After some time of silence between us, he looks up into my face.
βI....thought about everything and... I know youβre going to hate me after this but I feel like I should tell you because I canβt keep it to myself anymore and-β
βPlease come to the point.β I accidentally cut his words. I really need to calm down I thought.
βLetβs break upβ Jiwoo muttered.
βExcuse me what?β I laughed nervously, hoping I didnβt hear him right.
" I donβt think weβre meant to be you know? I mean we are dating for what? Two years? And still, you donβt trust me enough to-β
βWait. Youβre not going to break up with me just because I donβt want you to fuck me after two years?...you do know that Iβm not that kind of person and I just donβt want to rush things. You were the one telling me βI will wait for you until youβre readyβ so that was just to sound sweet and caring?β My face started to heat up as I got more insecure on the inside but mad at the outside.
βWe didnβt even really kiss! I am a man, I have desires. You canβt give me what I need, so I have to move on.β he said angrily.
βWe did kiss but I donβt know why those things are more important to you than my feelings. We couldβve talked about it without breaking up.β I snapped back.
βI just donβt want to waste more money and time on someone I donβt love.β
At that moment I feel my heart breaking in my chest. It hurts so much that I nearly broke into tears. I swallowed down my tears and packed my stuff.
" You know what? Stay away from me as far as you can. I donβt want your text messages, I donβt want to see or hear you and now fucking leave my life. Thanks for wasting my time and using me like a toy. I wonβt beg you to stay or crawl back to you if I feel lonely. Donβt worry!β I accidentally raised my voice. With the attention of all the customers in this shop, I could feel their eyes burn into my skin.
It was embarrassing for me. I hate to show bad emotions or crying in public...
I didnβt know what else to do so I left the shop as fast as I can and ran where ever my steps lead me to.
Turns out βwhere everβ is my Dorm.
I open the door to hear the excited screams of hwanwoong and Keonhee playing games with each other in the living room. I can smell some food scent from the kitchen, so I assume that Youngjo is making dinner. I donβt want them to see my red puffy eyes and worry about me, so I keep my head down, close the door quietly, take off my shoes and go up in my room without them noticing.
I sigh as I take off my jacket and throw my bag into the corner of my room. I can feel the tears streaming down my face again, so I give in. I donβt have the strength to fight against them anymore, so I just slide down my door and put my head in my cold hands. My head feels hot and I feel pressure in my head. Warm tears streamed down my cheeks, falling into my lap.
The room is filled with nothing but my sobs and sniffles.
He didnβt love me? All those sweet moments, the cute letters, dates, everything was just a lie? Am I that blind? How could I not see that I was just his toy? Trapped in his game...
I was always by his side when he needed me.
I didnβt want anything in return because all I want for him is to be happy but that still fucking hurts.
I try to regularize my breath as I feel the door opening and crashing against my back.
βOuchβ I hear my cracked voice. Oh no.
βSeoho Hyung are you oka- are you sitting in front of the door?β I can hear Dongju talk as he slams the door again against my back.
βYes, gosh. stop that hurtsβ I replied and slide away from the door.
βWhy-β he stops as he looks into my face and crouches down immediately.
βHyung why are you crying? W-what happened?β He stuttered worried and cups my face with his hands. βCan I not tell you and we forget about it? Just...allergies or something... Why did you come up here?β I asked with a more soft voice and stood up. He looked at me completely confused. β... I was going to tell you dinner is ready.... And wanted to steal your phone charger.....but... Are you sure that you are okay? Should I tell youngjo Hyung? I bet he can help you!β
βI can help Seoho with what?..wait...did you cry? What happened?β
βGod damn it nothing happened letβs go eat dinnerβ I put on a mask because I donβt want them to see my weakness. Iβm their mood maker, not their trouble maker.
---- at the dining table ----
Awkward silence and the sound of eating.
Keonhee and Youngjo are having a normal conversation about how their day was, Dongju and I are focussing on our food and I donβt know what Hwanwoong and Geonhak are doing but I think thatβs where the awkward silence and the weird atmosphere is coming from.
βAre you guys okay?β I blurted out while food filled my cheeks.
My question seemed to get the attention of everyone on the table but Iβm still looking at Hwanwoong and Geonhak.
The younger started brushing and stuffed some food in his mouth. I guess he wonβt tell me what happened.
βYouβre blushing? Now? Aww, what happened after I left you two?β I giggled and reached over to pinch his cheeks.
I turned to Geonhak to do the same, but he slapped my hand away, as expected, and smirked.
βDo you want me to hunt you now or later?β Oh shit.
βWait let me swallow my food,β I mumbled, swallowing my food. I stood up and started to get some distance from him.
βDo you have to do this every time?β Youngjo sighed, rubbing his temples frustrated.
βWhat do you think? Seoho or Geonhak?β I heard Keonhee whisper while smiling at Dongju.
βI think this time Geonhak Hyung is going to winβ he answered.
βYou two still bet? I thought you stopped after Keonhee lost his earphones to you.β Hwanwoong questioned.
I wanted to hear the rest of the conversation but chose not to as I saw Geonhak running in my direction.
I could escape until I slipped on a sock and fell to the ground. I heard laughter behind me and then felt fingers tickle my sides. It was funny until he pinched them and it began to hurt a bit.
The room was filled with Laughter from everyone and my funny screams.
That sounds alone make me feel at home and forget what happened.
They make me feel at home.
