The secret

the day started like any other day. I was six months pregnant with twin daughters. "Honey, do you want breakfast?" My husband asked. "I will have whatever you are having? " I said. "Do you want it in here?" He asked. "No, I will come out. " I said.

I rested for a minute. I could smell sausage and eggs. I threw on. A robe over my nightgown. I came to the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around me and he kissed me. I sat down to eat.

We discussed small talk. My day, his day. he spent the day at the church except for lunch. He came home at four. I had no idea that it would all come crashing down a few hours later.

If you had told me that, I would have told you that you were crazy. I would have said that that was impossible. It was unthinkable. I was happily maried. Nothing could change that. The kids woke up. After breakfast, Matt got ready to go to the office. He kissed the kids and kissed me.

I had a lady's bible study in the morning. Then he came back for lunch. Then he left to return to the church. When he kissed me was the last time we were in a good place. Nothing would be the same after that. I watched him leave. I could not wait for him to come home. We did not have anything pressing. No services or meetings. We were in for the night.

I decided to go up to the attic to find something I put up there. I knew matty would not be thrilled if he found out I was up here. He wanted me to stay in bed all the time. The doctor says I should make it easier. There was no reason for me to be on bed rest. I found what I was looking for. I was about to leave.

I thought I went in, went out, no problem. He might be momointetily upset but I figured he would be fine. The first he would do was band me for going up here during my pregnancy. Then I saw a file cabinet. I had no idea what was in it. I opened it.

I found pictures of me. It was of me. I was sure it was me before we dated. I had shorter hair back then. There was me at a cofee shop, me at the campus bookstore, me at the campus food court. Me at the library. Me at the beach. I never wore a bikini but wore a one-piece bathing suit. He had been stalking me.

I wore several different outfits. There were some of me alone. There were some of me with my friends or with my sisters or other family members. I had forgotten that back then I was sure I had been watched. It was weird that it stopped Around the time matt and I started dating. I never made the connection.

I found more. He had captured my life back then. He had anything. i was angry, scared, and sad all at the same time. It was all at the same intensity. I came down from the attic. I went to the living room. I was shocked and stunned. I picked up my daughter Kenzie.

"You ok mommy?" My stepdaughter Cayce asked. "I am fine honey. " I told her. I gave her a great big hug. I had known these girls for a few years now. They were part of my family.

I had no idea what to do. The man who was my best friend was not potentially the man who posed the biggest threat to my life. Was I in danger? I felt betrayed.

It seems what I believed about my life was untrue. Was it all a lie? My dad owned his own business. He Had been a janitor who built things in his share time. He made a patent application for several of them. They were accepted. He built a business around these inventions.

We had gone to a megachurch. The church was trendy. It had a contemporary praise band. The church had been evangelical and had solid doctrine. The church had moved away from solid doctrine. They started to water down their doctrine and even started to embrace the emergent church and even eastern mysticism. My dad had enough. He moved us out of that church and looked for another church.

There not a lot of options. There were not a lot of good solid churches in the area. We used to travel an hour for church. We did not want to travel more than that. One day while driving home from a meeting, he saw a sign for the gospel baptist church.

He saw a van in the driveway. My dad decided to stop and go inside. He went to the office.

"Hi, are you the pastor?" My dad asked. "I am matt grant. I am the pastor yes," he said. "I was driving through when I saw the sign for the church. We just left green ridge community church. We are looking for a church. "He said.

My dad and the pastor hit it off immediately. We started attending the church the very next Sunday. He loved the church. He found the preaching refreshing. He only preached the word. My dad was sold at once. I and my siblings were not quite as convinced. We liked the other church. There were a lot of programs and events. This church did not want to have that many programs. the church appealed to the church as a whole. There were not structured groups. The church sang from the old hymns. they only used the King James version. They dressed up.

I was not as sure. At the time I was taking classes at the community college. I worked at the family business. I helped to care for my siblings. When I met the pastor, he gave me a strange look. He looked hungry. I learned he was a widower. I was not sure if he was just lonely. I wanted to be maried but I was not sure I wanted to mary a pastor in his thirties.

At first, my reader was up. He seemed to be lusting after me. I was not sure it would work. My dad and the pastor became friends right away. We went over to his house and he and the girls came to our house. Several of my siblings were around the same age as his kids. They became playmates.

He talked to me as softened as he could. At church dinners, he sat next to me. He was on the hunt as I was the prey. I had a bad feeling about him at first. I was not going to date him let alone marry him.

I went on dates hoping that if I got a boyfriend he would back off. I did not find anyone. He kept pursuing me. He slowly chipped away at my resolve.

I threw up my hands and agreed to a date. It was amazing. The first date became a second. We became closer and closer. After a courtship, he proposed and I accepted.

We were Maried at the church. We went on a honeymoon in a nearby city. We had a great Mariege. He was my best friend. Until the day I found his stash, I had no regrets. I became pregnant and gave birth to a healthy baby girl. When she turned two I became pregnant again. This time with twins.

I thought i had a great Mariege. He was my partner, my confidant, my cheerleader. We were a team. We were in the same direction.

I fell in love with him more and more. I was so happy. Then it all came crashing down. He followed me. He obsessed over me. I was horrified dad. All-day, I went from anger, fear, sadness. It was a continuous loop. I was not sure if I should leave. I knew I told my dad he would tell me to leave at once. He would probably come to to to to to to get me.

I did not want to bring him in on this, not yet. I wanted to consider what to do. Apart from me did want to run away. I wanted to take his girls and go on the run.

I feared that I was not his first time. I feared he did this to other girls. I feared had I kept looking I would find pictures of other girls. Who knew? Maybe he had destroyed them. Maybe I was his only target. It seemed unlikely but one never knew. So many questions flooded my mind. Unfortunately, I filled in the blanks. I created stories in my mind. Stories that may or may not be true.

I packed a small bag. What one might call a go-bag. I stuck it in the van. I got ones for the girls as well. I was not sure if I was going to leave or not.

I decided to make super. I was still deciding on a course of action. The supper was ready shortly before matt was to arrive. I heard his car pull in. Usually, I went out to meet him. I did not today.

He came in. Usually, if I did not meet him outside, I would meet him at the door.

" Hi honey I am home," he said. "I am in the kitchen," I said. I wore a blue button-down shirt, a blue denim skirt, and was barefoot. He often said that he wanted me barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen. It never bothered me before that day. He was mostly old-fashioned. I considered him an enlightened misogynist. He cared for me. He provided for me. I did not doubt that if it was between his life and mine, he would sacrifice his life to save mine. Now I was questioning everything.

"Hi, babe." He said. "Hi" was all I could muster. He hugged the girls. Normally we Hugged and kissed. He went over to me. I went in the opposite direction. I complicated to him into uncertain terms to back off. He saw the look in my eyes. He knew I meant business. He did back off.

We sat down to dinner. We had lasagna. We said almost nothing to each other. The kids did a lot of talking. We interacting with them. I tried to shelter the kids from our troubles.

We played with the kids. We put the kids to bed. We went downstairs. Often we would have bible studies together. We might have prayer time. Sometimes we danced. Sometimes we watched tv. Other times we just chatted. Things were tense. That was not like us.

"Hon! What is going on?" Did he ask? "I saw the pictures!" I told him. I gave him a dirty look. "What are you talking about? What pictures?" He asked. I showed him one of the pictures of me. He seemed to take a gulp. "Oh! Those!" He said.

"This is sick mathew. I am pretty sure it was a crime. It's scary and creepy. 'I said. He was squirming. I waited for his response.