Bad Boy Valentine

“I nominate, Noah!” Abigail raised her Champagne glass, which was full of apple juice, but made her feel fancy.

“The hot swimmer you’ve been seeing?” Mary was disappointed to hear his name mentioned.

“Hot often goes with emotionally unavailable egomaniac,” Scarlet shrugged. She was the realist of the group.

“All guys are bad boys, that’s why we all hate Valentine’s day,” Maddie tapped on her pink unicorn pen with a shrug.

The other girls peered around at each other, subtly pulling faces. They knew something she didn’t. Most years the girls could share in the common hatred of tomorrow’s holiday which made singles feel worthless, but this year there was a strange occurrence. Every one of them, excluding Maddie, had been asked to be someone’s Valentine and they’d all accepted. Now they were just awaiting the right moment to spill to their lonely friend.

Maddie was the note taker and leader of the Girlfriends Gang, which traditionally got together every Galantine’s day to discuss which guys would be added to the ‘Bad Boy Billboard’. It was an ever-growing list of seniors and players who had led them on, or guys who had broken their hearts during the school year. They’d first come up with the concept in year seven when each of them went through their first heartbreak or awkward exchange with a crush. Like a music billboard, the poster was a record of bad boys and a ranking, which was based on years. The annual adding of bad boys involved lots of ice-cream, fluffy pillows, and debates over whether someone was worthy of being added to the list. The uniform was pyjamas and if you didn’t come in your comfiest bed socks you were given a pair upon arrival.

“Ladies.” Maddie raised her unicorn pen, which was treated like a spirit stick, by which the person holding it had the power to speak. She made that rule up and the other girls weren’t game enough to take that privilege from her. Her high brown ponytail bounced down to her shoulders and she was always in the latest Peter Alexander pjs, with her black rimmed glasses resting upon her quizzical brow. “As always we start off with nominations,” Maddie cleared her throat, sitting atop two stacked pillows to seem important, her short black bob and fringe making her appear a little like Edna Mode, according to Abigail.

Seated in a circle surrounded by a mound of lollies and drinks the evening’s task of labelling new members of the Bad Boy Billboard was underway.

“Abigail, you must now prove to us why Noah deserves to have his good name sullied on this Galantine’s eve.” Maddie looked to her and the two nodded before she continued, moving her pen to the large poster they had made on this same date back in year seven, the start of high school. The room, which was furnished in pure white with modern Ikea furniture, went silent, as all six of them gazed at the bright bubble-gum pink pen about to touch the poster. It was large and covered in cut outs from teen magazines of guys with rippling abs and knowing smirks. At the top was ‘Bad Boy Billboard’ in bold font, coloured in a little harshly with thick black marker pen by the bunch of angry young teens. Below was a numbered list with the names of each guy that had been added and a short sentence to explain why.

The first read:

1.Matt Foster - because he gave Em a daisy in first period and then gave another girl a rose (which is universally known to be better than a daisy) at lunch!

Ok that was the first one. Pretty mild, but that was seventh grade. The girls were now in eleventh and the sauciness level was starting to spice up. It was fun for them to read back over each year and laugh at their innocence.

“Oh, I miss the days were the worst a guy did was talk to you then someone else after,” Mary who was the hopeless romantic of the squad hugged her pillow to her chest, a baby pink beanie on her curled blonde bob hair.

“Yeah, less talking now,” Scarlet winked, her long black hair straight, her name being the most reoccurring on the Bad Boy Billboard as a victim to several players who most likely will be named.

Maddie shook her head at Scarlet, not able to understand why her friend had such poor taste, “Honestly I don’t know what you see in them.” She’d hated everything about Valentine’s day. The idea that love had to have a special holiday dedicated to it. The thought of chocolate hearts, red roses and gushing lovers making her sick.

“I see them,” Scarlet, threw a handful of candies at Maddie. “Some of us like hot guys.”

Maddie dodged the flying skittles. “You’re cleaning that up later.”

Scarlet rolled her eyes, finding Maddie’s perfectionist manner amusing ever since she’d moved to the school and been placed next to her locker. The two had first bonded over locker organisation, whereby Scarlet happily chatted away while Maddie cleaned the space for her, being annoyed by just the sight of it every day.

“I said I nominate Noah!” Abigail had been trying to speak, unable to find a break in the conversation which was one problem of gathering six independent and strong-minded young women in one bedroom together.

“Here,” Maddie threw her the unicorn pen, trying to keep a little control.

Abigail caught it, although it was a terribly dodgy throw. She was the sporty spice of the six, wearing basketball shorts for her pair of pj’s and an oversized shirt she’d stolen from one of her four older brothers. The brothers who’d been totally off limits, according to the code of friendship they’d laid down at the start of high school. Siblings were a no go, ex-boyfriends, unless ok with said girl, were off limits and you weren’t allowed to ‘bags’ people because that resulted in someone believing they had a right to a guy before actually doing anything about it and was just plain unfair. That last one had been laid out by Scarlet, who didn’t want to have any guys classified as off limits.

“Remember when he asked me to go watch his swimming comp?” Abigail, with her high messy bun and chipped polished nails, waved the unicorn pen around.

There was a chaotic collision of answers around the circle, however it basically gave her a ‘yes’, so she moved on.

“Well, I went and I’m in the pews, having arrived early to cheer him on, cause my basketball game was cut short,” she chewed on a sour strap with her mouth open.

This made it both hard to hear and was off putting to Mary who’d learnt all her table manners from Regency romances.

Abigail continued, sucking the sourness from her teeth, occasionally making a gargling noise, “So I’m searching for him amongst the other swimmers in the comp, patting their chests and splashing themselves with water, which is hilarious…”

“Can we get a time limit on this unicorn thing?” Scarlet couldn’t stand the non-important details, wanting Abigail to get to the juicy bit.

Abigail put her hands out, looking to Maddie in support.

“She’s got a point,” Maddie titled her head. “You got one min. I’m clocking you,” she raised her numberless watch, keeping an eye on the small ticker.

Abigail had no time to argue so she continued, with her legs spread, her hands relaxed on her knees, and her bed socks that had Snoop Dog animated on the sides pulled up at different lengths, “Well I see him chatting to this preppy looking…”

Maddie intervened again with a cough.

“Sorry, sorry,” Abigail corrected. “Forgot the other woman’s never the wrong one.”

“And why is that?” Scarlet asked, always a fan of that rule of Galantine’s day.

“Because she’s not the one dating you, the guy is, and she has done nothing wrong,” Abigail let out in a monotone manner as they’d all had to say it at some point before.

Everyone nodded, and Maddie beamed with happiness, glad they were following the rules without having to be badgered. It was crucial on Galantine’s to see men as the enemy and other girls as mere victims, even if in some cases that was entirely inaccurate. It was the anti-Valentine concept which made Maddie adore the annual catch up.

“Well, what I meant, and to wrap this up since Mads is giving me the hairy eyeball,” Abigail took a quick breath, “is that Noah was seeing this other girl at the same time.”

“How’d you know, maybe he was just being friendly?” Mary could never believe someone was a cheater, she just wasn’t as pessimistic as the teens that surrounded her.

Abigail chortled loudly, a piece of sour strap landing on Maddie’s arm causing her to turn her nose up, “Because he was being friendly with his lips, and don’t say it was for luck because it was no mere peck!”

“Alrighty,” Maddie caught the unicorn pen as Abigail hurled it her way. Unfortunately, the sheer strength and perfect aim her friend had caused the pen to hit her right in the chest, “Aww!” she grabbed her front.

“Sorry,” Abigail blushed, knowing her emotions had gotten the better of her.

“Quite alright,” Maddie rubbed her tender chest with a wavering side smile, trying to support her sporty jaded friend but not too happy with the whole anger management issue. “What’s the vote?”

“Bad!” Scarlet was always the quickest to decide.

There were only two choices though, Bad or Redeemable depending on said crime conducted by the dude.

Em shrugged as if it were an easy one, finishing her last scoop of ice-cream, “Bad.”

“Bad,” Ruby was always on the side of the prosecutor, never liking conflict.

Mary always rolled an ‘r’ sound across her tongue in hopes that she might say ‘redeemable’ however even pure little Mary didn’t give the swim captain, Noah a second chance, quietly saying, “Bad.”

“Well, I say he’s wretched!” Maddie shook the unicorn pen getting ready to add to the Bad Boy Billboard.

They all leant forward over the poster as Maddie carefully, in her block like writing wrote out the reasoning for lucky number thirteen.

13.Noah Smith – because he practically asked Abigail to go and watch his kiss from a prime seated position!