𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 [ 𝐃 𝐒𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆 ]

⠀⠀⠀But . . . For the past couple of weeks that ' something else ' distracting factor had been your newest neighbor and his out of control abhorrent antics. His not-so neighborly behavior made concentrating your interests in your work difficult and next to impossible.


⠀⠀If he wasn't blasting his music at ear-splitting maxed out volumes at all hours of the night , as his classless house guests partied carelessly in his place and outside in the streets of your apartment complex . . . he was raunchily making his ' pick of the night ' sex partners scream curses during lusty endeavors.


⠀⠀Every night it was a different voice. Screaming and moaning in the same pattern of endless sexual agony. . but the noise wasn't the only thing he had given you to complain about.


⠀ He had also parked his german engineered sports car in your designated parking spot. Despite him having his own like everyone else living in this section. That always inconvenienced you ; and forced you to park your car on the street.


⠀⠀⠀After the first couple of times you had decided to politely leave a note on his windshield being that you had never seen the asshole face to face for a properly conducted conversation. . . you practically begged for his compliance to keep the noise down and you also urged him to park in his designated spot before you would have to take the action of filing a complaint to the renters board.


⠀⠀⠀Shortly after you left the note he had written you a response and in the truest form of his shitty character , it wasn't the nicest response you had received to your approach.


⠀⠀It was then you realized that he was a regretless nuisance , the worst kind. He didn't give a shit about other people in the community or , that you had been a working college student tasked with the chore of getting up at 7' in the morning every morning for your job and in the evening you attended your semi-online classes.


⠀⠀⠀He didn't care about the responsibilities of anyone outside of himself. That was a detail you didn't have to engage in a conversation with him to pick up on. His tacky actions spoke on his behalf.


⠀⠀⠀' That's it. I'm going over there. ' You continued speaking personally as you had crawled out of the daunting sea of textbooks and school supplies sprawled across your messy bed.

⠀⠀⠀With your feet now firmly on the carpeted floor of your bedroom you were cursing to yourself. Frustrated wasn't the word for what you felt. How much longer could he have gone on with these disturbances ?

⠀⠀⠀Two ? Three ? Months . . He moved in less than three weeks ago and you were already anticipating his departure.


⠀⠀⠀Didn't he have a job or some kind of adult duties to tend to like the rest of us ? Other than his bachelor-esque ways you knew nothing about him. You hadn't even seen his face but from what he was driving he might've been the well off type or born into money.
Whatever the case was , something afforded him the luxury of time to be a mannerless jackass day in and day out without fail.


⠀⠀⠀ ' This is not the hood. I told Mrs. O'Verra do not let them niggas from Compton move here. And what does she do ? She moves one next door to me , and if he ain't from Compton his ratchet ass could've fooled me. I'll never pass my exams at this rate. This nigga and his Wutang Clan wannabe entourage of homeboys and they hoes gotta go. I cant take it anymore. I'm so sick of this. ' You ranted slipping your manicured feet in the house slippers waiting by your bed.


⠀⠀⠀You hadn't given any second thought to your get up because you were simply going over there to have a brief but extremely necessary conversation with whoever resided there.


⠀⠀⠀Did you have to put on an evening gown to tell someone they were being too noisy ? No not at all. The oversized cotton t-shirt with ' Malcolm X College ' sprawled across the chest in bold blue letters you had been wearing , your tied back but out of wack long dark hair and your cartoon character slippers would do just fine for this occasion.


⠀⠀Within you was a toiling struggle to find the last shard of your composure. You didn't want to go over to his house with your animosity evident.


⠀⠀That was rude. Unlike him , you were raised to be polite and direct when it came to communication.
Especially when it came to communicating whatever issues you had with an individual to that individual . . . whoever they may have been at the time.


⠀⠀⠀Throughout your life there was very few people on the other end of the uncomfortable conversations you had to have when it came to conflict. You weren't a fan of dissension but you were not shy about voicing your concerns and vocalizing your issues. You were always assertive.


⠀⠀⠀This situation hadn't been any different. You could serve him a piece of your mind if you had to do it but , it would be palatable , sugar coated , and placed on a silver platter the way your mother taught you. ' Never let them see you sweat ' as she had always said.

⠀⠀⠀To you that meant keep your cool.


⠀⠀⠀At this rate it was hard but not impossible. After all you were an adult and you intended to act like one even if he didn't.


⠀⠀⠀You had made your way into the chilly night air as you stepped out of your front-door in route on your internal mission. The wonders of stars overhead in the sky acted as a guiding light in the other wise abundant darkness.


⠀⠀⠀It looked as late as it felt , but him and his clique of rampant mannerless assholes were partying and had noise raging on like there was no tomorrow. If you wanted to be around the ways of the ghetto you would've stayed in your hometown. Living out on your own was supposed to be the basis of your personal freedom.


⠀⠀Living out on your own was supposed to be the paradise of privacy , tranquility and growth you had always dreamed of being in. You wanted to stay up as late as you wanted to , you craved control of your self and your life.


⠀⠀⠀No one was there to tell you when or how to come and go. Living in your own place was supposed to be everything you had dreamed of but Kool and The Gang made it a living hell.


⠀⠀⠀ Even going as far as giving you a sensory headache last week from the excessive noise. The flashbacks of that had you enraged. Forget about keeping things cool. Your mystery neighbor was going to feel your wrath.


⠀⠀⠀The fire of your anger added speed to your step as you had walked over to his porch. The small cement stoop was infected with nothing ass nobodies , and drunken girls hanging around with no where to go.


⠀⠀⠀Dark but heavy eyes watched as you approached them. That made you hesitant . . but not afraid. Not a stranger to stares , nothing was going to drive you away from going off on him.


⠀⠀⠀ ' See , I told y'all if we waited long enough the fine hoes would start showin up. ' The disembodied voice of a male said as you had slowed your step , making your way up to the entrance of his home.



⠀⠀⠀Your eyes scanned the crowd of shameless spectators posted up under the bad lighting of the porch. Within the small crowd of four bodies had been three men and a woman. Your glance adverted to the noise maker.


⠀⠀⠀He was an amber skinned male , donning a half cut of plaited braids , and a white tank tee that exposed the lineage of tattoos decorating his arms.


⠀⠀⠀He clutched a half empty forty ounce glass bottle of malt liquor as he spoke. Who was he callin' a hoe ? Better yet where had these people come from and where else could they go ? Fortunate for them you didn't fuck with the police and had a strong belief of keeping the law out of black affairs.

⠀⠀⠀Brutality was at an all time high.

⠀⠀⠀‘ . . . Okay— Um. Hi. I don't know who the fine hoes you're referring to are but I'm Y/N , I live next door. Directly next door. I was wondering . . Do any of you know who lives in this apartment ? And if you know , is that person currently home ? ‘ You greeted with a forced politeness. Your bone to pick was with the tenant. Not his posse of gang bangin' hanger-ons.

⠀⠀You didn't want anyone to catch a stray if they didn't have to but his guests were testing you. Disrespecting you before you had even opened your mouth to speak. Was this minor but persistently annoying issue worth trudging through a jungle of rude assholes sitting on his stoop ? Probably not but you were here now.


⠀⠀⠀The front door hung open inviting you to a direct view into the packed out , hardly lit apartment. The lights were low with hues of deep blue and purple tones shining down on the dancing bodies of people from wall to wall.


⠀⠀⠀There was clearly a party going on. As always. There was always a party going on at his residence as if there was so much to celebrate into the deep hours of the night.


⠀⠀⠀‘ Fuck is you , the police ? ‘ The man asked as his clique of company cheered him on with a band of laughter. His disposition had you questioning your decision to come over here in the first place.


⠀⠀⠀Was talking to whoever lived here worth the trouble they were giving you ? Again— No. It wasn't. Another wise crack would send you on your way back into your apartment.


⠀⠀⠀Your patience and your tolerance for the minuscule games they wanted to play was low. It might have been better on your part to call the police after all.


⠀⠀⠀‘ You niggas are so childish yo. Girl , this is my cousin's apartment. His name is Dior. But around here we call him Ice or Di' for short. He's in there somewhere. You'll be lucky if you catch him before he dips off into the cut with a hoe. ‘ The woman amongst the flock spoke. She seemed to be the only one with a couple of working brain cells around these parts.


⠀⠀⠀Then like the sun rising into the sky at 6' in the morning . . it dawned on you. Dior. . . or ' Di' ' for short was a name that once rolled off your tongue effortlessly and brought you ease. It was a name that brought you great frustration at one point in time too.
Anger greater than what you had felt now.

⠀⠀⠀It was a name that used to make you smile to yourself , and filled your stomach with countless butterflies. It was a name that was apart of the history you once knew. A name that used to dominate your early young adult life back home. It was the name of your ex—boyfriend of two years.


⠀⠀⠀Life back home around the time you were with him was hectic. That's why you had moved out further than your hometown in the first place. Aside from having to move for college you had packed up and left because your personal problems were starting to suffocate you.


⠀⠀⠀ The constant arguments with your parents , on top of things going left with Ice was too big of a weight for you to carry. You and him had reached an impasse. You hadn't been able to spend quality time with him the way you used to because of the transition period between college and graduating high school.


⠀⠀⠀You were busy planning for your future and he had felt those plans didn't include him. Things weren't going anywhere between the both of you despite your mutual agreement to ' work it out '.


⠀⠀Working it out never happened. You were hit the ultimatum of choosing him or choosing your education and the latter had of course won. It wasn't that tough of a decision to make. Ice took a toll on you. He was reckless and didn't care about anyone else but himself no matter how much he tried convincing you otherwise.


⠀⠀⠀His friends were always in his ear about the relationship you two had. They didn't trust you with his heart , and frankly . . your parents didn't trust him with yours. There were instances where they knew his secrets before he told you. Looking back , the communication between the both of you had always been off.


⠀⠀⠀Excluding the first year of your relationship. Things were working out then. You wouldn't have stayed with him as long as you had if they didn't. Your parents hated his disposition.


⠀⠀⠀They hated the attitude that he had towards life. He was involved with shady things they didn't know about and you hadn't planned on telling them.

⠀⠀⠀According to your dad he was ‘ a insensitive thug ‘ and ‘ less than a gentleman ‘ from the way he carried himself.


⠀⠀Your folks never got to know him personally but for as long as you had been with him , nobody could tell you anything about him. You'd never listen to what anybody had to say.


⠀⠀Your experience with Dior was not theirs. . but leaving him had been a personal choice. Nobody influenced you to do it. And as easy as it was for you to pick your future over where the two of you were in life at that point , it still hurt you to lose him. It wasn't a situation you could win in. He was your first love.


⠀⠀⠀‘ You gon' regret this Y/N. You ain't ever in life gonna meet another nigga who loved you like me. ‘ His words echoed into your brain like you had heard them for the first time. Maybe coming over here wasn't your greatest idea.


⠀And staying definitely was the worst one you had yet. All of his selfishly boisterous tricks and behaviors that ticked you off were starting to fit for him. Your view on your ' neighbor ' had changed from the asshole next door to Ice just being Ice.


⠀⠀⠀Though you had never called him that nickname.


⠀⠀You weren't fond of it or it's origins. Ice was his street name. It was his egotistical hardened side that treated you like a random off the street or a sex object as opposed to what you had been ; his long term girlfriend. Ice was the name given to him by his ballistic criminal father. The apple didn't fall far from the tree at all.

⠀⠀‘ A-Actually. . on second thought I'll just go— ‘ You stammered totally reneging on your decision. As you had made your choice to leave you heard his voice emerging out from the apartment. Why had your feet been so slow ?

⠀⠀⠀ ‘ Yo' , 'Ron I need you to run to the store for me right quick. We low on drinks and mothafuckers is gettin' antsy— ‘ His low auburn eyes widened as they found yours not even two seconds after he had appeared out into the open.


⠀⠀He stopped speaking mid-sentence as he seemed to be observing you. Thoughts running rampant in your mind. Not in a million years had you thought you'd see his face again. And if you had you swore you would've looked more put together and would be at your best in life but this was the exact opposite.


⠀⠀⠀‘ Y/N ? ‘ It was alien hearing him say your name so casually yet confused. You would have thought he had forgotten it by now. Or at least a portion of you hoped he did.


⠀⠀⠀Your relationship didn't end on the healthiest note. Hurtful words were exchanged and you cried for two nights straight before you moved away. How did he end up here ? You didn't intend to stick around and ask.


⠀⠀⠀‘ You know her ? ‘ His cousin chimed.


⠀⠀⠀‘ Thank you for the help but I don't need it anymore. You guys have a goodnight. ‘ Was all you could make out before you sped off his walk way in a hurry to get back to the concealing comfort of your abode.


⠀⠀As fast as you had came you intended to be gone. Without the hassle of an awkward conversation. You practically had run away and there he was trailing after you in his truest toxicity.


⠀⠀⠀You rushed up to your door hoping he wouldn't have crossed the boundaries of breakup etiquette and tried to continue his pursuit but he had done that. He was hot on you like it was his business to be. He followed you.


⠀⠀⠀ ‘ Y/N. . where you goin' ? ‘ He called after you as you struggled to open the door. You didn't lock it but the case of nerves infecting you had you awkwardly fumbling with the knob.

⠀⠀⠀ ‘ Damn Dream , after all this time you still ignorin' me ? ‘ His tone was soft and poignant as he stood merely inches away from you as you had finally opened up the door through your anxiousness and fear.

⠀⠀⠀Dream was the name he had given you months into your relationship because he had told you , you were his ' dream girl ' did it still mean that now ? Probably not. The silence was thick. You couldn't speak.


⠀It was as if your tongue was glued to your teeth.
What could you say ? You strided into your place swiftly. Hoping that he had learned when to stop over the course of time the two of you had been apart but of course he hadn't. He was behind you. Inviting himself in with no shame.


⠀⠀⠀‘ What the hell . . Dior. . . What are you doing ? Get out of my apartment. I didn't invite you in. ‘ You had turned to face him and found he had comfortably shut the door behind the two of you. Your gaze had peeled down his face in observance.


⠀⠀⠀He looked the same as he had a time ago.

Still fine , blessed exclusively with features that complimented him. Except his hair was different. It had been grown out and parted into squares that were rubber banded into ponytails , and his facial hair had grown in darker than it was a year ago. He was a gorgeous man. At the top of your list in the looks department. You could admit that.


⠀⠀⠀ ‘ And I ain't invite you to my party . . yet there you were standin' in my walkway chopping it up with Kayy'Ron and Mook. Why didn't you tell me you lived here ? Next door to me at that. I ain't know that. ‘ He frowned.

⠀⠀⠀How were you supposed to tell him that ? You hadn't been in contact with him for an entire year. And how were you supposed to know he was your neighbor ? Up until now you hadn't seen your neighbor. Which was strange to say the least.


⠀ You knew everyone who resided in this complex. From Mr. Wattson who lived two doors down , to Romero ; the Italian immigrant man who was having an affair with your leasing agent Mrs. O'Vera because he couldn't always afford rent.


⠀⠀⠀But Dior ? You wouldn't have guessed it. Had his life changed since you were gone ? It had to. He had a completely different car and he was never that obnoxious to the rest of the residents when the both of you were living in your old neighborhood , attending your senior year of high school. Having him for a neighbor in this town didn't cross your mind.

⠀⠀‘ Outside of the fact that I had no idea you lived next door to me either . . I didn't have to tell you where I live. You don't need to keep up with me. We're broken up. I wasn't checking for you. If anything I thought you stilled lived back home. No where near me. ‘ You sighed as you had tracked further into your pad with him tailing along like he had nothing better to do. Didn't he have a massive party to tend to ?

⠀⠀⠀Where did his interest go for that ?

⠀⠀⠀‘ If you didn't know I was next door , why was you there talkin' to my cousin ? You've always been bad at lying by the way. ‘ He said as the two of you had entered the kitchen.

⠀⠀⠀He took it upon himself to turn on the lights as you had approached your fridge. Clinging to anything that would create a distraction of some kind for you to not look his way. Time was dragging on and you had done nothing productive pertaining to your exams and it appeared that you weren't going to. Not if you didn't figure out a way to get him out of your house.

⠀⠀⠀ ‘ Every day since you've moved into this complex you've caused a disturbance. If it's not you partying your ass off every night , you're making some random bitch scream for mercy while you fuck her. You park in my designated parking spot and you've just been all around inconsiderate as hell. I can't study or get myself prepared for exams in a couple of days. I came over there to have a face to face conversation with whoever lived there about it but now that I know the one causing the nuisance so happens to be you . . It all makes sense. It makes sense. ‘ You said opening your refrigerator door looking over the selection of things inside of it. Amongst the variety of food and drinks you yearned for something to alleviate the dry feeling in your mouth.

⠀⠀You wanted something to drink. Browsing the selection of sugary drinks you had settled on having a bottle of apple juice. Feeling his intense stare set on your appearance as you pulled the bottle from the fridge and closed it back. He was watching you skillfully and you hadn't turned your head to address his presence any further.


⠀⠀⠀ ‘ You sound kinda jealous. ‘ You hadn't intended to look his way so quickly but that caused you to snap your neck like there was something wrong. And there was. Was he serious ?


⠀⠀⠀Jealous of his late night hook ups with easy women who'd sleep with him , but didn't know his name or his favorite color ? You weren't one to slut shame but the causality of getting into bed with a man you knew nothing about didn't appeal to you the way it did to other women.

⠀⠀⠀Again , he was attractive and could have anyone he wanted but how could they be with him without knowing anything about him ? Like how he hated onions. Or how he could pat his head and rub his stomach at the same time. A skillful quirk not many possessed but he did. He used to tease you for the fact that you couldn't do it.

⠀⠀⠀‘ I can't focus on studying for my end of the semester final exam because you don't know how to be quiet , and that makes me jealous ? I think you've overstayed your welcome Dior. Get the hell out. ‘ You said sternly as you had walked over to the marble countertop island placed in the middle of your spacious kitchen and set the juice down onto it.

⠀⠀⠀He laughed like you had been joking.


⠀⠀⠀‘ I'm tellin' you. . I see right through your act. You've always been terrible at lying and tryna play shit off. You too easy to read. You're jealous . ‘ He smirked as he had wallowed farther into the kitchen seeming to make himself comfortable like he hadn't planned on leaving and knowing him . . he hadn't.


⠀⠀⠀He was never the type to shy away from hot water issues or pressure. He wasn't scared of a challenge although this wasn't a challenge. More of an awkward exchange between old lovers.


⠀⠀‘ Jealous of what exactly ? There you go thinking you know everything. That's why we broke up in the first place. There's nothing here to read into. You fuck random girls and make a lot of noise. I came over there to address the noise. I didn't know you'd be the one who lived there. I wouldn't have come over there if I knew. ‘ You said as you had taken the cap off of the juice and picked up the bottle to take a drink from it.

⠀⠀⠀‘ You're jealous of the fact that I'm fuckin' them and not you. . Which is crazy because we might be broken up but if I knew you still wanted this dick so bad , I would have given it to you sooner. But come on . . I know you better than that. I see you playing shit off like you’re unaffected and you don’t care but I know how you really feel. ‘ He had spun a thread of his own internal theories as his smooth steps towards you had gone from subtle to more evident.

⠀⠀⠀He couldn't have been more wrong about something in his entire lifetime than he was now. It had been a whole year since the two of you had gone your separate ways and like every break up the beginning phases were the hardest.

⠀⠀⠀Of course he crossed your mind often when you had first moved out of your hometown. He was practically your every thought day in and day out because being with him was all you knew. Being with him exposed you to a lot of firsts in your life.

⠀⠀⠀He was your first love , your first sexually intimate partner , he had dragged you to your first party , and would go on to become your first actual heartbreak but checking for him ?

⠀⠀Or worrying about who he had been with ? That wasn't on your mind at all. Being in college had created the perfect distraction from all of the inner tolling and stress of not being with him for the first time had created. In a sense it numbed you.


⠀⠀⠀Being numbed left no space for you to worry about your ex or who he was seeing these days. But did that mean you didn't miss him ? No , because you had. Your soul longed for the magically unduplicated sensation of being in love.

⠀⠀⠀Your heart wanted him. Your body wanted him more but over time you flushed those things to the back of your mind and added them to the growing list of things you swore to never talk about again. But here he was , and here you were in the same room as fate would orchestrate.

⠀⠀His tawny eyes dipped down your body slowly with inspection. It had prompted you to be self conscious but it wasn't like he had never seen it before. He had . . . plenty of times. More times than you could recollect or keep track of in fact.

⠀⠀⠀After he had deflowered you per your request having sex was one of the few things that kept your relationship with him going. Even when things were at their worst the two of you still managed to keep things physically together.

⠀⠀Funny enough it was like he used it as a form of expression. To handle things somatically that he was too emotionally tapped out to communicate with his words. The whole world you two shared could be falling apart but that wasn't a mattering factor when his body was on yours. Or yours on his.

⠀⠀The chemistry was always intoxicating enough to cancel out the differences.

⠀⠀⠀‘ Wow you haven’t changed a bit. You still sound crazy and conceited when it comes to us. I'm not playing anything off. I seriously don't care who you sleep with now a days. We’re adults now so trust me when I say that I’m not the lapdog that you wanted me to be. I don’t give a shit. You're not mine anymore. . . ‘ You said as he had overstepped into the barrier of your personal space. Greeted by the decadent aroma of his Italian cologne , and the remnants of weed smoke laced in his clothing your tough exterior folded.

⠀⠀⠀You could feel the recognizable warmth of body heat radiating off of his skin as his gaunt figure mounted over yours. You had almost forgotten how much taller he was than you. But that wasn't the only thing that made him dominant.

⠀⠀⠀He possessed other qualities about him that gave
off an authoritative vibe. Things you couldn't put into words.

⠀⠀Normally you were a strong willed , opinionated woman who strived tirelessly to prove to the entire world that she had a mind of her own and could make her own choices but around him you were nothing like that.

⠀⠀⠀Around him you were compliant and submissive. He could have told you to jump and you would have. To this day you didn't understand the intricate magic behind his appeal.


⠀⠀⠀ If anyone ever asked you what he had done to get you to do whatever he wanted you to do or be as obedient and eager as you were you couldn't explain it to them.

⠀⠀⠀ You knew nothing about the science behind that. You just knew he carried himself a certain way. He moved like he was always in charge and knew what he was doing no matter what the situation was. That was trait of his that kept you grounded at your worst . . but like anything in life it also came with cons.

⠀⠀⠀It was sexy at first to have him in charge , and always ready to steer you on the right path. But the sex appeal there wore off quickly and it made him controlling. More controlling than your parents.

⠀⠀⠀For a while you felt like none of the people you loved trusted you enough to make any of your own decisions. That was smothering. Intensively he had taken the bottle of juice from your hand , and returned it to the countertop where it was once before.


⠀⠀⠀‘ But you're still mine. ‘ He affirmed , as he had brought a hand up to your throat ; his lanky fingers bending against the skin of your neck as they locked in a gentle grip. The flesh of his plump lips enchanted yours with remembrance as he kissed you.


⠀⠀⠀Without a warning or a sign of trouble approaching. His kiss was deep and sent soul shaking vibrations throughout your entire nervous system. It had been a whole year but time remained no factor to what you were feeling all of a sudden.

⠀⠀You were throttled by the impossible to duplicate sensation of an affection driven whirlwind from his kiss alone. It was manic but your body knew him well.

⠀⠀⠀Your heart rate accelerated and your spirit beamed as he delve down a path you two hadn't taken in so long. Should you have pulled away ? This was wrong. . . right ? Technically not.

⠀⠀⠀As far as you knew he held no current ties to one woman and you held no ties to any man. You were two single individuals suddenly thrown into the playing field of a dangerous game.

⠀⠀A game you hadn't participated in for a while. Exciting your senses you had given into his tempestuous desires for heat , as you had tilted your head slipping your tongue into the fervor of his mouth. Initiating combat for control.


⠀You could taste the dregs of liquor on his tongue but you didn't mind it. His lips were as inebriating as the most potent bottles of alcohol. You couldn't foolishly deny that.

⠀⠀⠀As many compliments as you didn't want to give him anymore because he had become the opposite of them , you couldn't hold back. There was much about him still worth a compliment. He was the prototype for love in your eyes.

⠀⠀⠀No stranger to his tactically slick style you knew what could become of these infectious ardor kisses and debated with yourself over the decision to give into him further.

⠀⠀⠀It didn't take the wits of a brain surgeon to conclude that he wanted to take things to a sexual level. There was no other reason he would have moved that impulsively. . but would you let him ?

⠀⠀That was the debatable matter. It wasn't like you didn't want to. You missed his touch. You were starved by the desire of human to human physical connection.

⠀⠀⠀Realizing then that you wearing little to nothing always turned him on. How forgetful had you been ? Triggering the signals of his vehemence and didn’t notice it until now.

⠀⠀He wasn’t alone in his quest either. Commiserating , lust suffused every inch of you as the two of you were dashed into osculation. You wanted him like he wanted you.

⠀⠀Although you prayed he couldn't detect the emerging signs of a mood change you had been going through from just kissing him. You didn’t want him to know you were entranced.


⠀⠀⠀All from kissing ? It made you feel simple and deprived. You were deprived . . but. . As your pride would have it you didn't want him to know you hadn't gotten any action outside of what you got with him for a year. It might have been petty to think that way but he was more sexually active than you had ever been in life.

⠀⠀He was sexually active before you met him. And it was partially his lineage of experience in the bedroom that drew you to seeking him out to take your virginity. That and another reason was the love you had for him had gotten potent enough for intimacy. He had your heart in his hands. Through and through you were devoted to him and sought to do whatever felt good.

⠀⠀Sex with him felt good. . not the first couple of tries when you were still healing from the newfound pressure of pleasure between your legs but every time after that there were many occasions. He was the only man you had been with. The only one who knew your anatomy as well as you had known it yourself.

⠀⠀You didn’t need him to be under the impression that you had been waiting for him to return. Or was saving yourself for him again.

⠀⠀The opportunity to fuck someone else presented itself a couple of times but moving on urgency and hormones with men you didn’t know personally didn’t interest you. Allowing someone you’d never see again to escapade your body and potentially endanger you to the risks that came along with sex didn’t attract you.

⠀⠀⠀It was far more complex than only ‘ hooking up ‘ in your eyes. It was a bond. A bond you didn’t want to share with just any man off of the street or at the weekend soirées your girlfriends dragged you to after hours of working and being busy.

⠀⠀Aversely you had retreated your set away from
his , coming into the full realization of what just happened. He kissed you. . . with the same lips that once spewed insults , and curses in heinous arguments. The same lips that spoke the sweetest sentiments you had ever heard from anyone.

⠀⠀He kissed you. You were quiet as the rush of adrenaline was prowling through your veins suddenly. Coming into the cognizance of the moment your eyes had locked with his and they were honest. Sparkling with benevolence you hadn’t seen him display before.

⠀⠀⠀Possibly the words he said had come from his heart. Possibly . . he actually missed you. Possibly he actually still believed that you were still his.


⠀⠀‘ You don’t mean that . . ‘ You countered. All you could offer were those thoughts of denial and doubt.

⠀⠀⠀He couldn’t mean it. Not with the way that things ended. He spoke to you like he hated the ground you walked on and couldn’t have been more happier to be freed out of the relationship. But this was a different time , and a different place in your lives.

⠀⠀College went on to reign as your priority but you were a matured version of yourself out on your own.

⠀⠀⠀What was he in his life ? That was a good question with a complicated answer. Your knowledge and understanding to the science of his ways never was lost on you. You knew him well. You couldn’t forget his patterns. Or the things that made him who he was. He wouldn’t be able to outright tell you if living now had been better or worst than before.

⠀⠀⠀ ‘ Maybe I don’t. The same way you don’t mean it when you say you don’t miss me fuckin’ the shit outta you. ‘ He spoke gently with a sinister forwardness ; that was more than enough for your inner battles to vanquish.

⠀⠀⠀It was as if you hadn’t made any efforts at all to keep your endocrines at bay , but his words tore down your guard. Better yet . . he hadn’t tore down your guard. He facilely bulldozed it the moment he stepped two inches too close into your radius of personal space. You hadn’t realized it yet.

⠀⠀⠀It was as if you hadn’t made any efforts at all to keep your endocrines at bay , but his words tore down your guard. Better yet . . he hadn’t tore down your guard. He facilely bulldozed it the moment he stepped two inches too close into your radius of personal space. You hadn’t realized it yet.

⠀⠀⠀⠀But you were coming to the light of your own cravings. He set off a system of feelings within you like no one else ever had. Throttled by the dated flashbacks of fervidness and craving replaying in your mind , you remembered vividly how good it felt when his tongue lapped against your pulsating clit as he gripped your thighs. You remembered well how alluring his low voice sounded when he groaned as you were on top of him for a ride. You remembered strikingly how he’d tease you with his fingers.

⠀⠀He’d rub your pussy edging you to the point of no return and when you wanted to orgasm he’d pull them away. You remembered having to conceal bruises and bites with makeup and clothing articles because he knew you loved how aggressive he could get. And you suddenly felt a thumping for him between your legs as you were taken to a place you hadn’t been in very long. Enchanted with dilation your panties grew wet.

‘ If you can honestly say . . you don’t miss me pullin’ your hair when you begged me to go deeper , smackin’ your ass when you dropped the arch in your back , grippin’ your neck just like this . . .then I’ll walk out of here and leave you alone for good. ‘ He said with passion rising to the occasion as his hand went from your neck straight down to the bottom of your shirt.

⠀⠀⠀You didn’t have to ask what was coming next. He was aware that you could tell. Further disregarding boundaries he pushed up the cotton fabric and intuitively invited himself into your paradise.

⠀⠀⠀Massaging the pads of his fingers against the temperate comfort of your sensitive folds through your panties. Slickly he ran his tongue against the surface of his lips , fixated on you more as you writhed underneath him.

⠀⠀⠀‘ I-I . . . I don’t miss it . . ‘ you blurted out trying hard to conceal the whimper that was begging to be heard. Causing him to snicker.

⠀⠀⠀⠀‘ Ion’t remember you getting this wet so easily. Did I make you do that , baby ? ‘ He nonchalantly tormented as his probe became specific to your pearl.

⠀⠀⠀Delicate , and nearly effortlessly he rubbed it , being no alleviation to you. He was only making things worst and he wasn’t clueless about it. He was well aware of how torturously good this was feeling while you were trying to cling to what was left of your morals and your intricate conscience.

⠀⠀⠀⠀You weren’t winning this but it didn’t hurt to keep trying to right ? Wrong. You were only driving him deeper. He wasn’t going to stop until you had given in to what the both of you knew you wanted.

⠀⠀‘ See , I could front the same way you doin’ right now and pretend like I don’t wanna bend you over the sink and break you down like I used to. . . I could easily act like how fuckin’ wet you are isn’t turning me on. . but it is. I’m not as good at pretending as you are . . but . . I’ll ask you one more time , just to be clear. Are you sure you don’t miss it ? ‘ He questioned you again , cunningly digging his fingers into the thin sides of your soiled lingerie , connecting his touch with the tender dripping flesh of your middle grounds.

⠀⠀⠀⠀Restrained by his lust you broke down as your fingers curled around the edge of the sink. Like the melodies of a soul bearing love song a faint moan escaped you , playing on as music to his ears.

⠀⠀⠀He had you right where he wanted you to be and had done it flawlessly skillfull. He wasn’t always this persuasive but then again there wasn’t a time where you housed enough hesitation to be persuaded. He used to have you where he wanted , when he wanted. How he wanted. Your fight was wearing you down more than your need was.

⠀⠀⠀⠀He could tell you were being dishonest with the both of you. Putting on the worst act ever presented in the relationship timeline between the both of you , you had given it up. You had given in. ⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀‘ Yeah. . That’s what I thought. ‘ He nodded well composed and unaffected by your inability to speak. You didn’t need to speak when your body language expressed everything so clearly in place of your lack of words. Urgently you rested a hand on top of his , encouraging him with excessive assist.

⠀⠀⠀⠀Your control directed his fingers heavier into your glazed center as your once timid sounds of pleasure had become bolder and more frequent. Entranced , you helped as he slowly stroked his index and middle fingers in and out of the recess of your drenched pink walls. He watched you in exam.

⠀⠀⠀⠀From protesting such a thing to practically begging for it. . . Your change of heart left him horny and amused. The full freedom and space to maneuver the way he wanted to was blocked by the interrupting material of your underwear. He couldn’t routine his fingers all the way out after he had dipped them into you without having to hassle with your panties. And you felt that irritated him.

⠀⠀⠀⠀He wanted the range for true authority and you wanted more of him , but boundaries or things like that never stopped him before. He was concentrated on pleasing you the way he did back then. These days he was prepared with more experience and there was the privacy of finally being in your own place without the worry of someone walking in on you like your parents had once.

⠀⠀⠀⠀That was horrific and resulted in you getting grounded for three months. The only reason you weren’t still grounded now is because you moved for school. Memories of that used to haunt you when you least expected for it to.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀It was the day before your graduation party and you were a thousand percent sure your parents had left for their road trip to see your grandmother down south. .

⠀⠀⠀The house was empty when you and him had returned from a busy day out at the mall looking for outfits for your party. You double checked nearly everywhere and you were so sure they were far away from the house.

⠀⠀⠀⠀That’s why you felt oddly confident enough to bring him up to your bedroom. A couple of moves lead to his tongue between your legs and as the rush of ecstasy was running through your body the door burst open. Your mother was fuming.

⠀⠀⠀⠀She didn’t let you hear the end of it and seeing him was out of the question. They banned you from leaving your room unless you had to. It felt like prison but fortunate enough their bullshit ass regulations never stopped him. You two still met up. He snuck through your window a couple of times after that too. In those days the two of you were entering the absolutely freeing stages of young adulthood.

⠀⠀⠀You were nineteen and couldn’t wait to go off to college. You used to think that you moving out of your parents house would magically make things a whole lot better for your relationship since there was no one around to tell you what was or what wasn’t good for you but of course it didn’t work out that way.

⠀⠀⠀That was the future you hoped for prior to when things got worst. Time passed and you ended up alone , with no relationship and high tension with your parents. Was this your second chance at the future you thought you would have ? Probably not.

⠀⠀⠀⠀Where were all of these goals and dreams with him coming from again ? You thought that part of your feelings had been buried. He wasn’t here because he wanted you back but what he was doing to you was adequately worth it and lured you back into his trap as if you had ever really left. The bliss you once felt for him was making it’s uncanny return. ⠀

⠀⠀⠀Scrapping up the bit of will power you had left you pulled his fingers away for relief. Now he was involuntarily doomed to play by your rules. You were at your limit with his teasing , and borderline hesitation. His pace was too slow for all of the agony it was causing.

⠀⠀⠀⠀‘ Okay. You got me. But. . I know you miss me too. You claim you’re not that good at hiding things but you’ve been hiding that for a while. It’s as clear as day that you’ve been lost without me this whole time. You’ve been searching , always looking , always trying to find the sensation that you got from me pleasing you in someone else but you can’t. That’s why you have a new thing over every night. Nobody else can give that to you. Only I can. There’s no other girl on this earth that could be standing in front of you in a plain oversized t-shirt that would be able to get you hard. That’s something only I can do. Don’t you think my moans sound a lot better to your ears than any of the other girls you’ve been with since me ? Don’t you miss how good your dick feels when you’re inside of me , papi ? I’ll admit it. . I do. It’s okay for me to be honest with you like I used to . . . right ? ‘ You had talked yourself up to the brink of your desires.

⠀⠀⠀⠀Every repressed thing had been on display with a new meaning. Aching for him with every word. You hoped that you were playing things undetectably cool so he wouldn’t be able to pick apart your attitude and detour you into a direction that could force you back into a submissive state.

⠀⠀⠀⠀You liked where you were taking this and didn’t need him flipping the script entirely unless it was to cooperate with the things you had thrown his way. To tell the truth those words had unraveled things you hadn’t paid attention to in a long time.

⠀⠀⠀⠀It wasn’t like you needed to. That was the consensus of your breakup but this was starting to feel like he never left. Like things were the way they used to be but at a better period in your life.

⠀⠀⠀⠀He didn’t say a thing as he forcefully grabbed your shirt. He moved with a swiftness you didn’t know him to have as he spun you around to face the sink.

⠀⠀⠀⠀You could feel his warm breath on your neck as he closed the gap of leftover distance between the two of you. His newfound aggression fully in vogue as his hands had slipped under your shirt again. Digging his thumbs into the sides of your underwear he had pulled them down your waist , causing you to giggle at his initiative.

⠀⠀⠀He could dish it out to you but couldn’t take it ? Typical. Finally — you thought to yourself as he placed clement kisses down the trail of your neck.

⠀⠀⠀’ I want you to make me scream louder than you’ve ever made any of those other girls scream. . I want all your friends next door to hear how nasty you like to get. ‘ You requested , sinking your teeth into your bottom lip as your panties had settled around your ankles.

⠀⠀⠀⠀He was deviously influenced by your challenge and it became more of a bet for him. You bent over to his advantage as you had heard him fidgeting with his belt buckle. Giddy wasn’t a great enough word for what had become of your mood.

⠀⠀⠀⠀You were eager for the rush of his skin and he was eager for yours. It wasn’t long before he had slid his thick length inside of you. Sending you to a pinnacle of passion as he patterned himself in and out of your body. Engaged into credo you were stimulated into another world.

⠀⠀⠀All words of the english language were replaced with curses and sounds of sexual rapture. You denied yourself this indulgence for so long. It was time you had been pleased beyond description. This was better than any makeup sex he could’ve given you.

⠀⠀⠀⠀He fucked you like it was his job. Maybe him being your neighbor wasn’t that bad after all. Why was he always so good at this ?

⠀⠀⠀Please excuse all typos , and spelling errors !