Discovering Myself (18+)

**Hello

I hope you will enjoy my story, I’m sorry about any grammar mistakes, English is not my native language.

I’ll be happy with any NICE comments and/or corrections. **

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We are over.

It resonates in my head, persistently, reminding the end of my four-years relationship, a consistent part of my life.

Yet instead of crying as I probably should, I’m sitting on the couch, intrigued, with shock and relief. Realizing he was right, we were together only because we were used to it, it was convenient.

“Well, at least you don’t have to find excuses to not have sex with him anymore.” My best friend Daniela remarks.

“That is mean Dani.”

“No, that is sad! My one-night stands give me more pleasure than your four years boyfriend ever did to you.”

“He was a good boyfriend, he was always nice.” I don’t even know why I’m defending him, he just broke up with me.

“Nice? Really Kelsey? Nice is your criteria for a boyfriend? I will tell you this, nice is not enough,” she pauses to take a sip of her beer before continuing, “I don’t understand why you were with him in the first place, he just did you a favor, because you would never have the guts to break up with him, doesn’t matter how miserable you were.”

I glance sadly at her, she’s right. I honestly think I would never break up with him, even if I had no desire for him anymore. It was like we were just friends and not boyfriend and girlfriend.

I took a sip of the beer Dani has opened for me, I still miss him.

Hopefully, it is only because I can’t have him anymore and not because I still have feelings for him. I always had the bad habit of wanting what I cannot have.

He is the only guy I have slept with. It will be weird to date another guy, to sleep with another guy.

The sex situation between us was far from an ideal one, but I felt so comfortable with him, from now on I will have to be naked in front of someone I don’t even know.

I honestly don’t understand how Dani does it. She makes it sound so easy, so natural, she knows what she wants, and she is so confident about herself.

I’m sure as hell I’ll be uneasy when I sleep with another guy. If I sleep with another guy again.

Such a thought drives me to drink half of my beer in one shot, it is enervating.

It was when I recognized Dani observing me, with her focused eyes, the ones she addresses me when her psychologist’s mood starts on and she is analyzing me.

She was always torn between being a journalist or a psychologist, and even if she is now studying journalism, I still think she wants to do psychology as well, or at least she loves to use me as her experiment.

The thing is, she is usually right about what she asserts regarding me, it also helps that she knows me pretty well.

We are best friends since high school and now we are going to the same college. She is studying journalism and I’m studying engineering. Even if I still don’t comprehend how we became best friends. We are completely different, our tastes, opinions, everything is usually opposites.

I love her regardless.

I was just anticipating for her to articulate, because it is always like such, she watches me, analyses me, considers the right way to express it, and declares it.

It didn’t come, though, interrupted by the keys on my door announcing an arrival.

I turn my head through the entrance to welcome my brother, hearing him talking to someone in the hall.

“Hey, my favorite girls!” He greets us and by the use of ‘favorite’, I sense something will come up.

“Hi!” I observe him entering the apartment followed by another guy.

“This is my friend Andrew, Andrew this is my sister Kelsey and her friend Daniela.”

“Nice to meet you,” Andrew states, revealing his, not so strong, British accent.

While he is speaking I innocently glance to acknowledge him, stopping my sights on his features, which provokes my mouth to drops open.

Recognizing the guy is something, currently smiling at us, with his perfect white teeth. Making me wonder how many times a day am I supposed to brush my teeth to look like that?

My eyes continue traveling to check the remaining of him, realizing I’m staring at the hottest guy I have ever seen.

His tawny hair is lightly curled, falling on his forehead, matched with the prettiest green dominating eyes. And checking his lips meanwhile I’m bitting mine, I grasped he is smirking. Proving, I’m busted gawking at him.

“Nice to meet you too,” I quickly add, shifting my attention to Char again, in hopes he hasn’t caught me gawking at his friend.

“What’s up, Char?” my brother’s name is Charles, but as the lazy girl I am, I call him Char, simply to shorten it.

“See my friend here has a big flooding problem in his apartment and he needs a place to stay”, he starts looking at us.

“Could you please let your room for Andrew and move to Dani’s spare room until his apartment is fixed?” He requests and I don’t miss his pleading face directed at Dani and me.

“That’s fine by me, Kels has already the key to my apartment,” Dani states, and it’s right, I have never given it back to her. She lent it to me last time she spent her holidays in her parents’ house and requested me to water her plants, even if I’m the worst to take care of plants.

Believe me, the only plant of mine that has survived is a cactus.

“And we can go party!” She adds bouncing and grinning at me.

“You are going to be the third wheel, Dani.” I scoff at Char’s statement, getting up to take another beer.

I don’t know how to tell my brother about my ex, Brandon, and me, he adores the guy.

“You don’t know the news, Charles?” Dani taunts with her mischievous smile, she would be pleased to inform him.

“Dani, please, not now. ′I′ will tell him later.” I assert, emphasizing the ‘I’ and being assured she has well understood my plea.

“No, not later Kels, tell me now,” Char demands impatiently and I take a deep breath before announcing it, knowing he will be displeased.

“We broke up Char.”

“What? Why? I just saw you guys last weekend and you were perfect. Why did you do that Kelsey?” He asks, frowning. He always calls me Kels, he only calls me Kelsey when he is annoyed.

“Why do you think it was me?” I inquired with one hand holding my beer and the other now on my waist.

“Because he’s crazy about you.”

That is a good joke, so now who will tell him? Right, it’s me, I will have the pleasure to drop it in his face.

I couldn’t avoid the smirk that appears on my face when I say, “Yeah, he sure is, and that’s why he was the one who broke up with me,” I’m pleased watching Char’s mouth drops open, with no response.

“I will move to Dani’s place,” I inform them, coming back to the initial subject in hopes Char forgets about the break-up.

“Thank you, Kelsey!” I sway my head finding Andrew’s mischievous smile, the way he pronounces my name with his accent is just...

“How have you guys met?” I let my curiosity out, starting a conversation with him.

“We were classmates in college, we used to go out all the time, but since I’m busy with work I’m not seeing him as before”, he starts, taking the beer Char is handing him. “The last time I came here, Charles was living alone, that’s why I have asked him to receive me for a while,” he completes, his accent being stronger now.

“So, you also studied civil engineering?” He nods in response while sipping his beer.

My brother is four years older than me and has studied engineering as well, the only difference is he chose buildings and I’m interested in energy. Especially renewables.

“So, Andrew, please tell me that little Kels here doesn’t have to worry about you sleeping with your girlfriend in her bed?”

That’s typical Dani, she always finds a way to ask what we want to know without being nosy.

“I don’t have a girlfriend so don’t worry.”

“Since when do you respect other people’s bed? Not having a girlfriend never stops you from sleeping around and using any bed available,” my brother spoke with his signature smirk.

“Oh man, that happened once, it won’t happen again I promise. I will go to the girl’s place. It is easier, I can leave when I want.”

Player.

He seems to be a dick, it doesn’t matter how handsome he is, he seems to be immature. Not the kind I’m fond of.

Anyhow, he is way out of my league.

“That’s childish, a real man can at least face the woman he slept with the next day.”

“Trust me it avoids a lot of problems, anyway, it is not like you would like me bringing a girl in your room, right?” He responds lifting his brow and smirking at me.

“Yeah right”, I respond getting up from the couch, “I will just take my stuff and leave to Dani’s flat.”

I end the discussion, moving to my room to take some basic items, like clothes, and hygiene products, knowing I still can come in case I need something else.

My brother joins the room once I’m finishing it.

“Thanks, Kels, for lending your room to Andrew,” he recognizes, “he helped me a lot at the end of college, I kind of owned him, so I couldn’t say no.”

“It is ok Char.”

“Come, I’m cooking some pasta, you will taste today my brand-new pesto sauce, I did some improvements after last time,” he invites grinning.

My brother loves cooking, well to experiment while cooking. He hates following a recipe, he likes to invent adjusting the ingredients. I’m always the one tasting it, and usually, I love it.

“God, I will miss all these try-outs, I will have to cook now, or eat the pasta without salt and sauce from Dani,” I declare while tasting Char’s dish.

Dani has a lot of qualities, cooking is not one of them.

“Don’t worry Kels, I will always invite you to taste my experiments. You still are my favorite taster.”

“Here Andrew I think you will need a key. Could you do a copy and give them back tomorrow?” I ask once we finish the dishes, delivering him my keys chain.

It tingles when we touch our hands, I almost jump when I felt a small amount of electricity passing through me.

Did he feel it?

It was probably the keys...the metal providing static electricity...

Right?

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