The demon and the swan

The demon and the swan

The small garden was rather dark, the light of the day fading and the last rays did caress the lovely statues and majestic trees with a hint of gold. The garden was very beautiful and well kept, everything was in perfect order and the beds of flowers were a kaleidoscope of bright colours and fragrances. The one thing there which did seem out of order was the nis clinging to one of the statues, her chest heaving and her face contorted by emotions. She was shaking, tears streaming down her cheeks and she was pale as a ghost. In the distance one could hear the shouts of another nis, desperate angry shouts which did pierce the silence.

The nis was wearing a gown in a lovely bluish grey fabric, it was long and rather modest but couldn’t hide the fact that this female was very beautiful with a lovely heart shaped face and a long slender neck. Her hair a rare shade of deep strawberry blonde and she had eyes of indigo blue, large and slightly slanted. But that beauty was marred, her face contorted and her tears made her eyes red and sore. She sobbed, clinging to the statue for support, her legs were close to giving inn underneath her. The shock had been simply too much and now she felt a terrible feeling of shame. She was relieved, relieved beyond belief and she knew that nobody could know this, it wasn’t right, she ought to mourn, not rejoice. Her mother was raging inside, screaming in denial and anger and confusion and it was actually not that odd at all. The young nis knew she wasn’t supposed to feel happy now, she should be devastated, insulted even. But things were not as they seemed to be, as they should have been.

She had been told a little over a week ago, that her husband was to be returned to her from the halls. She had broken down, her mother convinced that it was out of sheer joy and a celebration had immediately been organized. Since the master of the house too had left with the host of the valar her mother was in charge of the household, a duty she did perform with great diligence. As the lady of the house her place was in her eyes well defined and she had been devastated by the fact that the men of the household had been absent for such a lengthy time. Taking care of the property and the chores outside of the house wasn’t anything she had any experience with and neither did she want to. A female’s place was in her eyes within the house, to please her husband.

The nis tried to straighten herself up, her legs trembling still and she felt slightly nauseous. She knew what this meant, she would be shunned by everybody and the family name tarnished for ages to come. Her mother would live in despair, and how could they hope to manage now? Two women with no males to care for them and the property? They would be the objects of ridicule and mockery and she knew that her mother feared the rumours and wicked tongues of their peers more than anything else. That Orwarion had chosen to follow the valar and their army to Ennorath had been a terrible blow to her pride, it simply wasn’t done. A husband couldn’t just abandon his household in such a manner? It was his duty to stay and keep them safe and make sure that they were given all they needed.

Her mind simply couldn’t fathom that some things are more important than the traditional roles she had grown up with. Inwis was a proud nis and yet very simple, she was a beauty and well known for being very pious and an excellent wife but nobody did ever claim that she was overly smart. Rather the opposite but she did take pride in that too, felt that a female shouldn’t be too intelligent for what would be the purpose of that? Her daughter was the only child they had gotten and so she had made sure to raise the girl in the right manner.

Manya was the apple of her eyes and the mother name she had given the girl, Alqua meaning swan did show her devotion to the child. She had wanted the young nis to be perfect, a true gem of a housewife. But Inwis wasn’t capable of seeing that the world isn’t perfect, that it doesn’t follow some holy plan without hitches and flaws. And this could be simply too much for her.

Manya did wipe her eyes, taking deep controlled breaths. She had to get in control of herself, it was no other way. Her mother was in shock and the entire household would probably fall apart if nobody did take a grip and made sure that things were done like before. Nobody could have prepared them for what had happened, it was unheard of, simply impossible. And yet it had been real, as unthinkable as it was.

Inwis had been triumphant, beaming with joy, so sure that things now would return to normal. With her law son back she could back down from those unbecoming chores and be a humble nis again, and she was sure that her husband would return too. They didn’t know much about him at all, but he wasn’t in the halls, which meant he had to be alive and then he would return to them wouldn’t he? It was his duty after all and to Inwis duty was everything, the very fabric which held the world together.

Nullaron had arrived at midday, wearing the plain grey robes of those just returned to life and he had acted in his usual brusque manner. He had not even allowed Inwis to welcome him properly before he proclaimed that he wouldn’t stay there, that he was done with this whole thing and would go into the service of Namo. The marriage to Manya was annulled and he would not return to the property again. That was all, no apology, no explanation and Manya had stood there, feeling like a marble statue.

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, she had dreaded his return for many days and hearing that it was over, that she no longer was forced to obey him was unbelievable. Inwis had just stood there, staring with huge eyes, her brain probably not capable of understanding this at all. He didn’t move or approach Manya at all, a cold expression on his face and then he had turned around and walked out, with no words of goodbye and Manya had turned too and ran, trying to hide her tears. To everybody else they had to be tears of sorrow but that was far from the truth. They were tears of a whole different origin, her greatest fear suddenly removed.

Manya had been raised well, her entire life she had been prepared for her role as a housewife and she had been convinced that it was a sacred duty and her true destiny. Her parents had been a very devoted couple and very harmonic too and she wanted what they had, very much. When she came of age she couldn’t wait for the day when that would be hers to share, and she hoped that her parents would find a suitable husband for her soon. She was ready, she knew she would make her spouse very happy, she would devote her life to that. To her there weren’t any other path to take, the branch of the vanyar elves she did belong to were known for being very pious and she was incredibly naïve. She had little understanding of the world outside of her home, and her mother had restricted her knowledge, making sure that Manya wasn’t taught what she saw as inappropriate things.

When her parents did tell her that they had found a suitor she had been overjoyed, and lived in a bubble of cheerful anticipation for the whole year the engagement did last. She never met her husband to be alone but that didn’t matter. She was smitten, completely convinced that this was to be a wonderful thing. Nullaron was also a vanya and rather stocky with thick golden hair and pale blue eyes. She found him very handsome and when the wedding day did approach she was beaming with happiness. The joy had been absolute, the day perfect. Nullaron had been smiling and received the congratulations with a grateful smile and Manya was in a daze of joyful hope.

They would live in a side wing to her parent’s house since it was rather large and since the family was very wealthy they wouldn’t lack anything. Nullaron came from a family which also was rather influential but he was the third son and didn’t have much of an inheritance to look forwards to, but Orwarion was ready to teach him how to help out with the family business. Orwarion was well known as an excellent tradesman and he owned several stores which sold everything from jewellery to fruit and the family had never lacked funds. The property among the largest and most luxurious in this city and Manya had never known anything else than this, the abundance of things and a carefully controlled lifestyle.

They had been taken to their bedchamber and Manya had known the basic details of what was to happen, her mother had carefully explained it and Manya was very aware of her duties. She wasn’t to resist her husband in any manner and make sure that he was always happy and satisfied. She hadn’t even been nervous for she was sure that it would be wonderful and then they would hopefully have a child of their own soon. Nullaron had been drinking some wine that evening but not enough to make him drunk and yet he did seem very drunk now that they were alone. He probably hid his intoxication from everybody and had been drinking wine instead of water.

Manya hadn’t really had time to react at all, he had shoved her down onto the bed as she was, wearing her gown and jewellery and simply tore her skirts up. Manya had been too confused to even move, he had just opened his pants and threw himself down onto her, sheathed himself in her with one brutal thrust. The world had turned to bright red, the pain unlike anything she had ever felt before. She hadn’t been ready at all, her body not prepared and he had kept thrusting with wild energy. It felt like being split in half and in her shock she couldn’t even scream, what was this? This wasn’t right? Her training was strong though, she didn’t protest at all. He did finish with a hoarse roar, then he simply rolled off her and landed face down on the matrass, started to snore right away.

Manya laid there, shaking all over, she didn’t understand at all. Her female parts did hurt horribly and so did her lower belly and she was afraid she would pass out. She managed to get up, there was blood on her legs and gown and even on the bed and she did pull herself into the privy, gasping with pain and shock. The bleeding didn’t stop for several hours and the pain was intense, she wasn’t able to wrap her head around this at all. Could it be that he was drunk? It had to be the answer, it was the wine for sure. Come the morrow everything would be fine. She got out of the ruined gown and into a night dress and laid down, hoping that this was just a fluke, a thing which never would happen again. Only a thin sliver of doubt did remain in her heart, her naïve heart unable to comprehend the alternative.

That hope was quickly crushed with brutal efficiency, she wasn’t even really awake before he was at it again and this time she did pass out. She had no idea why she didn’t fade there and then, her soul overwhelmed by fear. It became very clear that she to him was a thing, property, not even a person but something he could use as he liked and he expected her to be there at all times, to be ready to serve him in every possible manner. In his mind females were just servants and vessels and he told her in no uncertain terms that he expected her to bear him sons only. Manya was terrified, there had to be something wrong with her since he treated her thus. Even when they had visitors he would demand that she acted like some thrall and he loved to humiliate her. But to her parents he was politeness incarnate and he made sure that she never got a chance to reveal the truth.

Manya did try to hint at what was going on but her mother didn’t listen, her answer was that Manya probably weren’t doing her best to please him and that she should try to be more forthcoming and caring. Nullaron didn’t hit her, at least not so it would be visible but he did love to torment her in every possible manner. He would demand that she did completely meaningless tasks, again and again. He would humiliate her in front of even the servants and he did force himself onto her very often. He had realized how much she feared and hated his touches and it did entice him into forcing her to submit to him completely. Seeing her in fear and pain was what turned him on and he would be even more violent if she didn’t scream. Manya was not used to the idea of anything being deliberately evil, she hadn’t even been aware of the fact that some people are that twisted and to the elves it was almost unheard of, at least in Aman.

Manya was hoping she would get pregnant, he would have to leave her alone then right? Her mother was constantly asking if anything had happened yet and Manya felt how the despair was eating at her soul. To everybody else Nullaron was a perfect ner, polite and wise and she started to see through his façade. He had been spoiled completely by his father and mother, to him the whole world did revolve around his own needs and wants and he had never faced any consequences at all. Manya spent several years in a living hell, unable to escape and she lost faith in hope. It would never end, he would keep belittling and abusing her, just for his own joy.

Then the valar did gather warriors from all over the continent, they were going to Ennorath to help in the fight against Morgoth and both Orwarion and Nullaron did join the forces. Orwarion went because he saw it as his duty to help protect the free people against the great enemy. Nullaron wanted to go because he wanted to win glory and fame for himself and he was very cocky as he rode out of the yard, convinced that he would make the enemy flee before them.

Manya and her mother were left there alone, with one of Orwarion’s old friends as their closest support and Manya tried to act as she was supposed to, as a loyal wife waiting for her husband’s return. But she felt as if she had been in shackles for years and now she was free. Inwis was still disappointed in her, no grand child born yet and she should show more concern for her husband’s well being. Inwis was unable to see the truth, and perhaps she was even more naïve than Manya was. To her evil was just a word, with no real meaning. And so the two women had to sit there, chastely staying at home while waiting for news.

The maia had arrived just a few months after the two men left, it was a servant of Namo and he had explained that Nullaron had died in the very first battle he was in, or rather, skirmish. It hadn’t been a real battle, just a group of elven warriors against a few orcs and Nullaron was the only one who did die since he did panic at the sight of the nasty creatures and tried to flee, one of the orcs managed to put an arrow in him. Manya did cry, it was a bit hysterical and Inwis was trying to comfort her. The maia said that Nullaron wouldn’t be returned for quite a while, he was apparently a damaged fea and Manya did understand what the maia meant. Inwis did believe that it was due to his manner of death but Manya knew way better. Namo had seen what Nullaron was, a very dark soul indeed.

Inwis was worried for Orwarion and that did take her thoughts away from her daughters situation at least for a few years, the home had to be taken care of and the business too. The friend of Orwarion did run the stores and he did his job really well. Teren was a very capable ner and Orwarion did trust him completely, for many years the business ran very smoothly and the family wealth did in fact increase. Manya was happy, or at least more happy than before, she hoped that her husband would be kept in Mandos forever, she feared his return like nothing else. She would rather face the Dagor Dagorath than live with that beast again. She had stopped trying to confide in Inwis, her mother was unable to comprehend anything of it. There was no point in it, the only thing Inwis would say was that it was Manya’s own fault for not being a good enough wife. In her eyes a ner could never be to blame for such things and she claimed that Manya was being selfish and told only lies.

And now this, the thing she had hoped for was real, Nullaron would never touch her again and it was such a relief and yet a problem. Teren had been forced to quit his work with the business due to a family situation and Inwis had found another friend of Orwarion who she thought to be skilled enough for it. The ner was younger and a bit cocky but she was sure he would do this the right way, his father was after all a very well respected member of the court. Manya was afraid that Inwis would get ideas now that Manya was unmarried again, as a nis scorned by her own husband she didn’t stand much of a chance, but their family name did depend on the honour of the house and an unmarried nis was not a positive thing the way Inwis saw it. Rondarion was unmarried and rather sweet talking but Manya saw that he was slick and she didn’t trust him, not even a wee bit. Her eyes had been opened and she didn’t really want anybody in her life again. But Inwis would try to match them up, and she feared that Rondarion would agree, just to inherit the estate. Since Manya was the only heir she was likely to get quite a lot of wealth over the years and that could be tempting.

Inwis was raging for a few days, then she started to do damage control. She had small parties with her friends and others from the other families with influence and told everybody that Nullaron had become very religious and that he had nobly chosen to dedicate his second life to the valar. It was such a grand and wonderful thing to do. Manya had nothing to do with it at all, she had been a faithful wife the whole time, waiting for her husband to return. Inwis did almost say that Rondarion had asked for Manya’s hand already even though he hadn’t even mentioned it. The rumours did still claim that Nullaron had chosen a chaste life of prayer instead of returning to Manya simply because she wasn’t fertile nor a very pleasant person to be with. It hurt her a lot but there was nothing she could do about it.

Then Inwis tactic did backfire in a grand and terrible manner, a couple of traders did show up at their door late one evening, claiming that the estate did owe them money. Inwis didn’t understand at all, until they showed papers confirming that they had sold goods to Rondarion which he hadn’t paid for. Inwis didn’t understand, she managed to get Teren back on a visit and he went over the books and found that Rondarion had scammed them, he had removed so much money from the business that they were in danger of losing it all. Rondarion was nowhere to be found and Inwis was hysterical. They had to sell a lot of their belongings and cut down on the staff and there was little luxuries left. Inwis was constantly praying for Orwarion to return but they didn’t hear anything about him at all, not even those who did return to Aman knew anything about his whereabouts and Manya did pity her mother. Teren did manage to patch things back together at least for a while but now Inwis had a new plan. Manya had to marry again, and she had to marry someone rich, someone with influence and a name.

The very idea did almost choke Manya who just wanted to live in peace, preferably alone. She couldn’t bare the idea of going through that again, and she did stall the process for as long as she could. The rumours had to die down, the finances had to become more stable, she had to gain some weight again…Inwis had sort of lost a bit of her drive too and that helped, she didn’t really get to start looking for a possible suitor and was spending her time complaining about her situation and wailing the fact that her husband weren’t there to help her. It wasn’t appropriate for a wife to go around looking for suitors for her daughters, it was the husband’s job.

Many long years had passed by when things changed again, and it was devastating news. A ner they never had seen before visited them one early spring day and he had news about Rowarion. He had fought along side Inwis husband on several occasions and he had nothing but good things to say about him but Rowarion was among those who had gone missing after some orc attacks. It was believed that he had been taken alive and that meant a most horrible end. If Namo hadn’t sent a maia with any news only meant that his soul could be so damaged he didn’t remember who he was anymore. The ner did offer to go to the halls and ask and Inwis had agreed, she had to know for sure. Some weeks later he did return and did confirm what they did fear, Rowarion was dead and he would never return to life, he was simply too damaged by what he had been through. Inwis did weep for days and Manya did too, then Inwis did gather all her strength and started to actively look for a new husband for Manya yet again. Now it was crucial that they got a new man in the house and Manya’s protests weren’t listened to at all.

Inwis was suddenly grasped by a surge of newfound vigour and zeal and she worked really hard to get what she wanted, what would salvage the remains of her life. To her the alternative was simply not conceivable, they had to have a male within the household, it wasn’t complete if the age old image of domestic bliss wasn’t perfect. Manya was in despair but she did know that she was what others would regard as utterly undesirable now. She had been married, and her husband had chosen to leave. It was unheard of. But Inwis did work day and night, praising her daughter’s good traits and really using all her charm and cunning. She was shameless and Manya was in some ways impressed by her bold approach to the problem. She even contacted families way above them socially and tried to sweet talk her way into their social circle.

Manya would have preferred if she didn’t, she was in short terrified of getting married again but she couldn’t stop her mother in any way. At least it gave Inwis something to focus upon and that allowed Manya for some freedom after all. She didn’t have to stay at home all the time but was allowed to go for walks in the town, to shop and explore a bit.

Inwis did hit the jackpot, or so she thought after about two whole years of fruitless searching for a suitable ner willing to marry Manya, a low ranking noble family had just moved to the city and they had a son who wasn’t married and yes, they wanted to find a wife for him. Manya was shocked, Inwis was desperate for the lad was not what you would normally regard as ideal law son material. He was a sour and impolite ner who preferred to ride out into the woods to hunt and he had no respect for his parents or anybody else for that matter. He was in short both spoiled and unpleasant and the family had almost given up. Wearion wasn’t interested in getting married, at all. He preferred to live a free life and that did include certain activities the valar would frown upon had they known. The servants had managed to pick up quite a few rumours regarding the ner and none were good. He had been in Ennorath and rumours said he had sired several children over there and had returned to Aman just to escape the responsibilities and some rather angry families. Manya would rather die than marry that idiot and she knew he would do as Rondarion had, spend all their money and then just scoot off like a fox from a henhouse.

Inwis didn’t listen to anybody now, she was on a mission and even a bad husband was better than no husband at all. She was negotiating the marriage contracts and Manya felt trapped. She spent most of the days in the garden or in the town, roaming the streets just to escape her feeling of growing despair.

She was wandering along the streets of the shopping area, this part of the town was packed with small stores and the streets were narrow and very hard to navigate. Many of the salesmen didn’t have a physical shop, they just arranged their goods out on the street itself and it became a maze of stands and piles of everything from fruit to fabric. She loved this area, she had hardly ever been there before Nullaron did leave for good and she had started to appreciate the liveliness and energy of the city, it was such a contrast to her previous life. This day was very warm and the sunshine sharp and piercing, many sat in the doorways and the atmosphere was relaxed and friendly. There were elves everywhere and you had to push your way through the crowd here and there. Manya was admiring some very nice embroidered shawls when she heard somebody shout, it was a clear warning. Then she heard screams and some loud crashing sounds.

Manya didn’t know what to do, she had no idea of what this was and people did scurry to the sides, trying to get inside of the narrow doors. She too looked for a hideaway but there were none, and the crashing sounds were accompanied by some very loud roars. Her heart did drop, there was a livestock market further up the streets and this could only be a herd of cattle, on the run. She tried to run but her dress was rather tight and stopped her from moving and the maze of things didn’t allow her to see an easy route out of the danger zone. She suddenly realized that she had hit a dead end. The street stopped abruptly with a tall wall and she had nowhere to go, She saw that stands and things simply flew through the air and the thunder of hooves was deafening.

She did scream as several large bulls with horns made their way into the short cul de sac. She had no chance of escaping and the bulls saw her. The animals were agitated and charged as one. She was sure that she would be impaled on sharp horns when there was a sound behind her, from the wall. Something flew over her head and landed on the ground in front of her. It was a very tall ner, and she couldn’t believe it for this was suicide. The first bull came rushing towards them and the ner did swing something he held, he did actually almost run towards the bull and there was a sudden crack like a thunderclap and the bull fell, it didn’t even twitch, it was dead.

The two other bulls did hesitate and the ner did roar at them, swinging the weapon, It did look a bit like a forge hammer but it was longer and the head was vicious looking. The dead bull had a huge indentation on its forehead, between the eyes. The two bulls did roar and scraped the ground, several others came running from behind and the ner swore, then he spun around and Manya didn’t even get to take a look at the face of her saviour before he grasped onto her like she was a ragdoll and jumped.

He grasped onto the top of the wall and swung them both up onto it, she felt weightless and scared to the bone and she did scream. He did fling them over the wall and let himself fall, caught her with his arms. The wall did simply cut a street in two, it did continue on the other side and she knew that she was safe now. The bulls did roar on the other side but even they couldn’t get through three feet of solid stone. Manya was faint, her heart beating like a wild drum in her chest and she was shivering.

A hand did land on her shoulder, turning her around gently. “Are you alright?”

The voice was very deep, hoarse and raspy and yet not unpleasant and she did look up at her saviour for the first time. She blinked, he was indeed very tall, and powerful in build. The wide shoulders and muscular arms told her he was a person well used to hard work and yet the clothes were of very good quality. His face was somewhat ragged but handsome and the hair thick and long and so black it did look almost blue. She had only ever seen one person with such a deep colour of black and she frowned, the eyes… He had the most peculiar eyes she had ever seen, a bright peridot green and there were a ring of yellow around the irises, it made the gaze incredibly intense.

But she had seen those eyes before, without the yellow in them. He was darker of skin now, and she did doubt that she would have recognized him without the odd eye colour. She gasped. “Hendu?!”