Raven's Tale

I am not thinking straight,

I am not thinking at all,

My mind buzzed in my head and my ears rang their own melody.

My bare feet on the wet moist sand pricked my toes as the wind blew through my dark raven black hair. I closed my eyes just for a moment but when I opened them I was somewhere else, somewhere strange, somewhere cold!

A place of disease and death, a place where the dead rest in the restless ground beneath my feet. A cemetery so big with old and new headstones or simple flowers tossed on their graves already shrivelled up as the wind picked up it's dead petals blowing it past me with all the rubble of the tree's.

Like a dead forest in winter the air turned cold. Goosebumps crawled up my back and arms as my knees gave up beneath me as I trembled to the ground. Tears running down my cheeks as all the past memories came flooding in, the pain of every person I've truly loved, my mother who took her last breath to shut the door in front of me as the man behind her impaled her slowly from behind laughing his sinical laugh. My little brother tied to his bed and burned alive as my little sister had to watch, but when she couldn't they slit her throat as punishment. My father who stood with me till the end as he hid me in a tree stump, whispered words into my ear, words that resembled no voice, till now I can see his face still and pale as they hung him right above me. The uncontrolled breaths and chokes struggled until nothing.

As tears streamed down my face now I grabbed the soil and played with it in my hands. The soil was smothered in water as it trailed down my fingertips, a trail of black mess loomed on my skin. The air dried up as the fog and mist froze in time, in place, I didn't questioned, I didn't observe what was happening around me but time froze. I looked down onto my hands as my fingertips and nails turned black sinking into my veins moving up my arms but stopped at my elbows, pain! so much pain! I fell forward landing on my hands seeing my reflection as my eyes turned white but black veins crawled out my eyes running down my cheeks. The pain was so abounded, it felt so good! I needed it, I wanted it so much as smoke seeped through the soil.

Moans and screams filled my ears, their pain! Their emotions, their deaths I could feel every single part of them and there were many! Anger consumed me as they slowly and painfully, in the state they are dugged themselves out of the soil taking in breaths even though they are dead, the feeling of air, a fresh breath, a cold touch to their skin, nothing but their pain when when they die. I looked up as they watched me.

One foot then the other I stood for them and pointed my black crippled finger to a city of hate, to a city that took everything from me, "Kill every last one, even the children!" I whispered into the air so quietly even I didn't hear myself speak, not with my voice but with a voice I dont recognise, chills ran through my veins as I started to walk with them side by side, from innocent woman strung and hanged for crimes not their own or poor children collateral incidents that were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, and men who died for someone else, a war not of their own pride.

Every step I took I let out a chilled breath as the air froze around me as I lead a trail of dead and decay, a path of where my feet met the ground.

Everything I touched died, as I took its life, its soul! But this time rather suffering, it pleaded for a better place and I brought it there, but first! I looked up at the city walls with its huge metal gates closed as guards from the walls watched in terror, confused to what they were seeing.

Many of them stood in terror rapidly looking at each other probably questioning if it is real. I stopped walking and so did they, my companions willing do to what I say. I simply raised my head and walked to the gate and they all stood where they were, instead of the guards reacting on my approach the head guard stood on the other side of the gate watching me with curious eyes, not a single emotion of any worry or concerned runned through him, "What are you?" He simple asked as the men behind him shivered "I dont look as terrible as I feel do I?" I asked and his expression hardened "I wont ask again" he said as he grabbed a bow and arrow from the guard next to him as the man stumbled back watching me with such wide eyes "Witch" the boy said who now took three steps away "If you want to call me witch" I said walking right up to the gate grabbing the cold steel in my hands "I dont really know" I looked down onto the ground confused for myself. The head guard pointed the arrow right between my eyes "Leave! And tell your friends to go too" he instructed "That's just it, they are friends which means I cannot command them to do anything!" I said as they slowly walked towards us in their dead way. "Witch I mean it!" He said harshly already wanting to shoot the arrow into my skull "So was I" I smiled at him and the clock on the bow when off, but within seconds, in a blink of an eye an old soul, a man twice the size of him and I, a soul tortured and beaten into nothing, a slave long ago to these people, a man ripped from his tribe and shipped across the world.

He grabbed the bow and angled it upwards as the arrow just missed my head. He stood between the gates like he was made of air but looked like all the others dead and yet real! Slowly he stepped through as the men all stumbled back frightened "What sorcery" the head guard tried to pull his bow back but instead he stumbled back as the broken soul kept him in place, "No sorcery" I simply said as all the others walked through the gate like it was not even there, with weapons of their own flesh and weapons from guards they killed they moved forwards, the head guard still stood there trapped in the souls grip, slowly the gates were raised as I made my way past and stood next to the head guard "Why? Wives, children, innocent all of them" he said at the soul ripped the bow from his hands and pointed it at him "So are all these souls, innocent, wives, children! Did they deserve this?" I asked "No!" I said before he could say anything "Fair is fair, you take, I take" i simply said and the soul shot an arrow through his chest as he was slammed back into the wall coughing blood I crunched down next to him "Someone should speak for the dead, dont you think?" I said and stood up slowly knowing he will have a slow death as I can feel his soul in him breaking, but he is strong "Dont worry, your soul is strong, soon you will be fighting along side me" I said as he spat at my feet "Never!" He said as I turned with a smile "then not, there are many more beautiful and strong souls in the soil, so many of them" I smiled and placed my hand on the souls heart who saved my life "Come Zkenzi, let's find your brothers" I walked back out the gates with a simple soul as the others still rummaged through the city doing as I said before they wither and disappear when the sun rises.

The light was too bright it burned my eyes. Every muscle in my body was in pain, like I ran a marathon through the dark woods and swam through big heavy waves of the ocean. Something stung my ribs as I rolled to the side, I am lying on the cold hard ground covered with pebbles and pointy rocks. I tilted my head seeing the sunlight enter through the slit of the cave. I crawled onto my knees and hands as pain took my breath away! Slowly and unstable I stood up, limping off balance walking towards the exit. Why am I here? How did I get here? I leaned against the cave wall as I made my way out slowly, extremely slow. The sun has been out for a couple of hours already and the wind is fresh, it rained. The ground was still wet as the birds chirped in the distance and rustelling of the trees and brush. A peaceful day with a dreadful woman with dry cracked lips and a dirty white dress all ripped up with bare arms stood in the middle of a field. What happened? Why can't I remember? I don't even remember what happened yesterday or the day before that or even before that.

My knees felt weak as I sat down on the soft grass rubbing my temple with both hands "Who am I?" I ask myself not remembering anything! I opened my eyes when I saw my hands, dry and dirty as my nails, just the tip had a black shine to it. I looked at them wondering where and why they had that "excuse me miss" a young boys voice startled me "I'm sorry, did I frighten you" he said and kneeled down to look at me but with distance "you are not hurt are you?" He asked and I just looked at him. "How can I help?" He took a step closer "How?" I asked as he froze to my broken damaged voice "Your voice!" He looked at me with even bigger eyes "let me take you to my home, my sister can help get you cleaned up" he said and not a second later he was crouched by my side helping me up to my feet. I didn't say anything for the entire walk through the beautiful green forest. It wasn't a too long walk when he whistled, it startled me "who are you calling?" I practically clawed away from him as a black horse with a dark brown mane came from between the trees "it's just Nelly" he holds his hand up to his chest as he calls for her, but she is uneased and uncomfortable of my presents "Calm down girl" he holds her head "she needs our help" he says but she does not look happy. I stayed where I was as he tried to get her to come to me but she wouldn't. She looked at me with her dark brown eyes and I could see she was scared, she was afraid of me, I could see that she did not want me close, but why? Slowly the boy pulled me towards them and made Nelly calm down enough for me to ride her. Well he rode her. I just stayed behind him with closed eyes feeling uncomfortable and felt hatred from this creature the entire way to his little house onto of an open field with a small garden and an angry woman at the door, but the view was incredible, unlike anything I have ever seen. When I woke up I stared at the wooden old ceiling for hours as the sky outside still was blue and light from the sun. Oh how has the sun not yet left for the night? I closed my eyes wanting them to stay closed forever. But the sun shone on my skin prickling it from the cracked open window. I rolled onto my side, what a mess I am, what a mess we are, what a mess this is. I closed my eyes, turning my face into the soft pillow where my hair covered almost the entire pillow and the mattress behind me. I peeked through my eyes watching the sun shine and hearing the birds fly by chirping at each other. It is peaceful, it is beautiful! It made me smile but only for a minute, only for a moment, because I wanted to stay like this forever but knowing this would not last.

Something from the room next to me made a noise, it made me jump, sitting up abruptly as a mirror was across the room, my reflection was horrid, my hair was too long, I haven't cut it in a long time, mated and old braids with dust and dirt clumped to it. Blue and red rims around my eyes made me look as if I haven't slept for days which it most definitely felt like it too, I still could sleep for another day or two. My blue eyes struck me, a shade I've never seen before on myself, maybe because of the dried streaks of tears that ran down my cheeks with black smudged makeup. My lips were plumper than ever, but brittle, dry and broken with a cut on the bottom right side with a big black, blue bruise on my cheekbone. I held my cheeks with both hands looking at myself "What happened" I asked simply as my head stung with pain. The memory was, is too painful! I can't and I don't want to remember at least not know. I rolled out of bed with my dirty ripped dress that just covered all the essential areas. This dress I bought with the money I made by selling trinkets that were left behind in my house when I was alone, after my family was gone, the dress hung outside a merchant cart with an old lady knitting as she simply smiled at me and I wanted to help her so I bought the dress. I was barefoot as I walked out of the room and startled the boy who was in the kitchen working "I'm sorry" my voice sounded rough and broken "Dear lord!" A woman came through the door from outside carrying a woven basket with cream, fruits and eggs "Let's get you cleaned" she gave the basket to the boy without looking at him and pulled me by the arm into a small room next to the bedroom I slept in. The room was small with a large tub and a sink next to it. The window left wide open as she yelled at him through the closed door "James heat up some water please" as we could hear him stumble in the kitchen tossing things over "don't mind him, he get uneasy and nervous at times" she smiled at me. I looked at her beautiful complex with her long golden hair dropped over her shoulder in a plate with plucked daisy's filled her braid. Her blue eyes a shade of blue I've never seen before, such calmness and tranquil atmosphere it gave off. "May I?" She asked as I just looked at her "One moment darling" James brought the water and poured it into the tub "Thank you James, please can you see if Haylee is ok, she's outside with the chickens" she smiled at him as he left. "Let me help'' she pulled off the torn dress and helped me into the tub. The room was filled with all sorts of plants and dried leaves in every corner I could see. The water was warm but not hot and it felt amazing as if every muscle in my body gave in and let go as I slid back "Oh dear" she caught me before I rolled all the way back in the water "Too weak I guess, that's oke! I won't go anywhere" she smiled as she poured some of the warm water over my head and stroked my hair out of my face "Such amazing thick hair, dark as the night sky" she pulled my hair back and added some thick cream to it "Don't worry hunny everything in this house I make myself from all the plants I grow" she rubbed my scalp as my eyes started to tear. Why? Why? "What is your name?" She asked but I could not tell her because I don't know" my tears rolled down my face even quicker as she embraced me "Don't cry darling, what if we call you Nepeta'' she smiled and put the same cream onto my skin but not were my wounds are "It is a flower which means Happiness also it is a flower which attracts cats in ways i do not understand" she laughed a little "We have four cats here and they seem to love you since James brought you, they've been in your room and on your bed at nights, it's like your the flower Nepeta, you attract them! And those blue eyes of yours, how could they not'' she finished washing me up and hung a long white silk cloth over me,

"Come on, I've made you something while you were sleeping" she lead me to a different room in the house "Here Nepeta, sit here I've made you some clothes" she pulled out a light blue dress with white flower patterns of small flowers attached and a silk white scarf to put over my shoulders "You made this?" I asked and her smile grew bigger "Yes, and I am so pleased with the results'' she gave me underclothes that just fit and she helped me put the dress on "I had to do a rough calculation, I did not wanted to disturb you while you were sleeping, but I think it turned out good" she spoke a lot after that, a real chatter she is but so much love and kindness I have not seen that in such a long time. She promised to make more clothes for me in the future as she combed and cleaned my hair. It was so long it reached just behind my knees, I told her I didn't want her to cut so she braided in a long braid with a few loose strands in my face. She was pleased with me and cleaned me off properly "your nails, have they always been like this?" I looked at my finger as the tips of my nails were black "Yes" I lied knowing that they weren't but I don't know either "Well that makes you unique" "Mother! Uncle James finished dinner" Haylee stormed into the room and stopped to look at me "Wow mom she's pretty" she said as she walked up to me "How old are you? Don't think your much older than me" she asked looking at my bruised face "How old are you?" I asked without thinking "I'm twelve and a half" she smiled and pointed at me "I'm nineteen" I said as I surprised myself "not so much older than me" she pulled on my arm as it ached "Haylee she has bruises, be careful! Let's go eat" that day was so strange it was like it was not real, in a dream that people wished they had. I ate so much food that night and went to bed with heavy eyes in a sleeping dress that was made for me too in a room for myself filled with plants al over the floor, wall and hanging from the ceiling with thoughts and memories I wished I could have to understand my confusion of this place, this world, me!