To: Mom
One day you were here, next day you were gone
Fast forward ten years, I still write your name in these songs
Losing hope in seeing you. losing reasons to stay strong
I see myself as a failure, trying to prove myself wrong
I got trauma no one can relate to, questioning if I belong
They tell me I do belong, I just don’t know what to do
They say to pray to God and you’ll hear me too
But why would I talk to God when I want to talk to you
I miss you, I never wanted you to leave
I’ll see you again, that’s something I’ll always believe
25/8, every day of the week
There ain’t a day that I don’t break down and grieve
Sometimes the tears fall so hard I can’t speak
I start to shake and my knees get weak
Stuck in my room, in my head, all I can do is think
I’m at the deep end of life and I start to sink
My life flipped upside down before I could blink
And when I blinked, I had a tear in my eye
And that tear has been there since the day you died
They say time heals, I’m starting to think they lied
Because every day for the last ten years I breakdown and cry
Or scream out your name and ask God why
I would go over Heaven’s Gate to see you if I could fly
But my wings are clipped and I’m stuck in this game I have to play
We will be together forever real soon, I just don’t know the day
So I’ll send you this song and a letter that would say:
“Dear mom, I miss you
I don’t blame you for the trauma
Don’t worry, I don’t hold that against you
P.S. I love you, momma”
