The Abandoned Song Book

One day you were here, next day you were gone

Fast forward ten years, I still write your name in these songs

Losing hope in seeing you. losing reasons to stay strong

I see myself as a failure, trying to prove myself wrong

I got trauma no one can relate to, questioning if I belong

They tell me I do belong, I just don’t know what to do

They say to pray to God and you’ll hear me too

But why would I talk to God when I want to talk to you

I miss you, I never wanted you to leave

I’ll see you again, that’s something I’ll always believe

25/8, every day of the week

There ain’t a day that I don’t break down and grieve

Sometimes the tears fall so hard I can’t speak

I start to shake and my knees get weak

Stuck in my room, in my head, all I can do is think

I’m at the deep end of life and I start to sink

My life flipped upside down before I could blink

And when I blinked, I had a tear in my eye

And that tear has been there since the day you died

They say time heals, I’m starting to think they lied

Because every day for the last ten years I breakdown and cry

Or scream out your name and ask God why

I would go over Heaven’s Gate to see you if I could fly

But my wings are clipped and I’m stuck in this game I have to play

We will be together forever real soon, I just don’t know the day

So I’ll send you this song and a letter that would say:

“Dear mom, I miss you

I don’t blame you for the trauma

Don’t worry, I don’t hold that against you

P.S. I love you, momma”