Unbreakable

THYRA –

I’m laying in the hospital, staring at the ceiling. I tried to take my life last night. I can’t take this anymore! The bullying, the terrorizing, the threats…all of it is too much! My family is crowded in the room with me. Mom is trying to cry silently but I can still hear her sniffles and sobs. Aksel is standing quietly in a corner behind me while Magnus paces at the foot of my bed. I can’t bring myself to speak. I just don’t have the energy.

I look down at my left arm. It’s now bandaged. I’m sure it’s stitched up. Great. Now I’ll have a scar to remind me of something else I failed at. The doctor comes in, smiling tightly at me. “You got lucky, Miss Gundersen.” I scoff and turn my eyes to stare out of the window. I don’t know about luck. I was so ready to go, to be out of all this pain and suffering.

“When can she go home?” My dad asks. The doctor shrugs his shoulders and sighs.

“I’m going to lay out some hard facts here.” Wow. Great bedside manner there, Doc. “Your daughter attempted suicide. That leads me to believe she’s undergone something serious enough to cause her to try to take her own life. I don’t feel comfortable letting her go home. I recommend she be admitted to a program that can help her get through whatever it is that’s troubling her.”

“I’m not going to a looney bin. I’m fine.” I am not fine. My left arm carries the evidence of that. I sliced it good and deep. I hadn’t planned on still being here today.

“You are not fine, sis!” Magnus booms. “Don’t you get it?? You tried to kill yourself! Why would you do that??” I don’t answer him. He grabs me by my shoulders and gives me a good hard shake. “WHY THYRA??” His eyes are red and swollen from crying. He doesn’t stop the tears from flowing. “Why?” he whispers as he collapses on top of me.

Magnus was the one who found me. I wish like hell I had the sense yesterday to lock the damn door. I guess I was just so desperate I didn’t think of it. I didn’t expect anyone to be home either but the best laid plans of mice and men…

“I’ll get some information together for you. Why don’t you talk it over while I’m gone?” The doctor turns to leave. “Miss Gundersen, I don’t know what you’ve been through but I do know you have a great support system here. Too many young girls come through this hospital in the same situation you are in. Please don’t become a statistic, ok?” He pats my shoulder and leaves the room. Now I’m with my family to face all this shit alone.

“Hvorfor gjorde du denne kjæresten (why did you do this sweetheart)?” My mom asks. “Vennligst min kjære jente fortell meg. Ikke skjul smertene dine. (Please my darling girl, tell me. Don’t hide your pain.)” She hasn’t spoken English since I was admitted.

I look into her blue eyes, the same eyes she gave to me. My chin starts to quiver as I do my damnedest to hold onto everything. I don’t want my family to know the shame I’ve brought on myself. Laying here watching my sweet mother cry for me breaks me.

“Jeg er så lei meg mamma (I’m so sorry Mama)!” The dam breaks and the tears rush out in wracking sobs. Mom gathers me in her arms, laying beside me in my bed. She rocks me and smooths my hair, just as she did when I was little. She lets me cry. I cry long and hard. I’m a broken mess.

“Å min jente hva som skjedde med deg (Oh my baby girl what happened to you)?” Dad picks us both up and settles back with us in his arms. He buries his face in my hair and cries with us. My brothers are on each side of my bed. By trying to rid myself of my pain, I brought it on my family.

When the tears finally stopped, I drifted off into a deep sleep. I was so exhausted from letting go of all that I held inside, I couldn’t fight it anymore. I wake up some time later to a dimly lit room. My mother is asleep on my father’s lap. The boys are huddled on the couch under the window.

“Ty?” Magnus says quietly. I reach for him. He rushes to me.

“I’m sorry Mag.” We don’t speak again. He just holds my hand and lays his head in my lap. “I’m a mess.”

“Talk to us, sis.” His blue eyes identical to mine beg me to open up. Aksel is now standing behind him, also silently begging me. With a shuddering breath, I begin to talk. Mom is awake now and sitting beside me on the bed.

Flashback…

Laurie is pissed at me. All because of Roger. See, Roger is my boyfriend but he was hers first. “All he wants is to fuck you, you stupid bitch! It’s a game to him! He’ll get what he wants from you and come running right back to me!”

“He wants the bragging rights to having popped the cherry of the Ice Queen,” her friend Michelle laughs. “I mean, you’re such a prude! You strut around this school thinking you’re better than everyone else. You’re nothing but trash, sweetheart. You’re a joke!”

I keep my mouth shut. I try to go around them but her cronies surround me. I’m pinned against my locker. Contrary to popular belief, I’m a wimp. I don’t like confrontation. I know I’m six feet tall but all I want right now is to get away and hide.

Laurie is sneering in my face. “He’s mine, bitch. He always will be. He can have you as his little toy for now but he will come back to me. He always does.”

***

I should never have come to school today. Opening my locker, I’m sprayed with some kind of red liquid and several pairs of stained white panties fall out into the floor. There’s a crowd around me with Laurie, the queen bitch herself leading the pack. I swore I’d never let them see me cry and today won’t be the day I break. I take a deep breath and walk off to the bathroom.

I don’t dare tell them everything. This is enough. I don’t tell them what happened with Roger. I can’t. My brothers will kill him. Yeah, he deserves it but I’m too ashamed of myself. To admit I made the mistake of letting that asshole have my virginity is too much for me right now. It wasn’t really worth it, to be honest. All it did was prove Laurie right…and that hurts worse than anything.

“All of this was going on before the party last month?” Magnus speaks softly. Oh yeah. The party from hell. I was drugged and almost raped. If Oz hadn’t found me, I would probably be dead right now. Those assholes are still harassing me, but I can’t tell my brothers who they are. I don’t want them going to jail for murder. And I’m not even joking…the boys will legit fuck them up.

“Yeah,” I whisper. “I’m pretty sure Laurie had something to do with that too. Oz said he heard somebody bragging about getting a piece of the Ice Queen and showed him a picture of me, naked and sprawled out on a bed.” I snort. “It wasn’t even me. It was so badly photoshopped that if anyone had stopped to look, they would have seen it was a fake.”

“Thyra, I am getting the police involved. This has gone far enough.” My father is pissed now. I look at him in terror because I know what will happen if he does that. “And don’t tell me no, young lady.” A tear rolls down his cheek. “I almost lost you, precious girl. They will pay for that.” He gives me a kiss and motions for my brothers to follow him into the hallway.

“Mamma you have to stop him! This will make it worse!” I’m starting to panic. The cool touch of my mother’s hands has a calming effect.

“I agree with your father, love.”