living with my teacher

its coming close to my first years in university. recently my mother sadly passed, it was only me, her and my brother. my father left only a few years ago, he was very abusive to my mother and me so I never feel the slightest sadness that he has left.

I didn't have such a happy childhood. my father ruined it for us all. he dominated my family from having our happiness. he liked my brother very much, the feeling wasn't mutual as my brother hated how abusive he was to us. Ethan, my brother did as much as he could to keep us occupied from my father but with the strict rules father put down, it wasn't easy for us to distance ourselves away from this disciplinary lifestyle.

after my mother passed, me and my brother were left with nothing. we had never been rich but mother spent all her money winning custody over us and trying to make our last years of childhood happy for us. I was very grateful to have such a loving mother like Martha in my life.

my brother has just left for university, we both decided to part ways and try live life apart for a bit. Ethan contacted the college for me before he left and secured me a living quarter with a teacher. apparently this teacher used to be friends with my mother and was one of the people who helped her win custody over me and my brother. Ethan said he's a nice man and I should be safe living with him.

I was currently packing up my stuff in my family home. this was the last night I was gonna be in this house, it was sad as I had so many lovely memories, but the negatives definitely over through the positives. it was for the best to start a fresh. I was driving 4 hours to get to my destination tomorrow, my anxiety was definitely taking a turn for the worst, I was staying with a male I don't know, in a town I've never been to, with totally new people. fuck

it's now around 11 pm, I've packed all my values and clothing I'm taking to my accommodation. I jumped in the shower and rinsed off all the stress today entailed away, shaved my body ready for a new chapter I am about to enter and scrubbed the dirt out off my short black hair. I sigh as I de-stress as the soapy suds collect around me. I am so at peace.

I grab a book from one of the boxes and plot into my bed. my eyes glide across the rigid pages letting my mind get lost in a wonderland of words.

my eyes start to get heavy.

I place the book on the floor next to me, folding a tringle in the top page I was reading. placing my body in a spoon position, I grab my little pink teddy my mother gave me at birth and snuggled up with it. the tv still playing YouTube in the back that had been playing all day. I close my eyes. I make up scenarios in my mind of a life I wish I had to calm myself, I was in a happy relationship with a older man. he protected me and dominated me, he treat me with kindness and gave me attention. he loved me.

the image starts to go blurry as I drift off in a deep sleep. who knows what tomorrow will entail. I grip onto my stuffie tighter as my body goes into a euphoric slumber with no stress. no panic. just peace.