SECRET DESIRES

She looks herself in the mirror for the one last time before exiting the room. She needs to look perfect, the only thing she can do to cover her pain and fears.

Good clothes, perfect make up and most of all fake smile. Usually she’d silently laugh at everyone who wishes to have a perfect life like hers. The fact is she envies her fake life too. What if the fake life she is having was real? She asked herself several times but the answer is not known even by herself. Probably she’d be happy.

The perfect long sleeved mini bud dress black in color with knee high heel boots would go perfectly for the day as she thinks today may be one of the blackest Mondays of her life.

Finally she exits her room and doesn’t bother to have breakfast. She calls her driver and goes straight to the car she has decided to use for today.

“Good morning ma’am.” Frank her driver greets her.

“ Good morning Frank.” Though she answers him like that, she still wonders if it is a good one.

The ride goes silently untill Rachel sees a group of people staring at something that was not yet able to reach her eyes’ sight.

“Stop Frank.” He does as told.

“Could you go and check what is going on please?”

“Yes ma’am.” He unbuckles his sit belt and hops out of the car. He runs towards the incident and seems to be a bit surprised.

“It’s an old woman ma’am. I think she has fainted.” He tells her through the small microphone connected to the car.

“Take her. Change of plans, we’re going to the nearest hospital.”

" Copy that ma’am ” He carries her to the car and puts her beside Rachel.

On the way suddenly she opens her eyes, finding herself being taken care of someone she doesn’t even know.

“Granny?” Rachel calls her.

She tries to get herself off Rachel’s lap but repeatedly fails.

“Rest Granny, we’re taking you to the nearest hospital. Don’t worry we are not bad people okay?” She says in a low tone as she tries to calm her down.

Sooner than expected they reach the hospital and the doctors quickly take her to the emergency room. Frank escorts her as Rachel waits inside the car.

Suddenly she remembers, she was supposed to be on her first meeting. Looking at her expensive watch, she’s already late by approximately 10 minutes.

“Dang it!” She curses.

She gets to the driver’s seat and starts the engine. She calls frank to inform him she’s gone already but doesn’t pick up. Left to do: leave him a voice message and that’s what she does.

To say the speed she reached was more than that of a bullet from the gun would be an understatement. She’s quite sure the police are looking for her right now but to hell does she care.

Quickly she gets off the car and faster yet elegantly she starts walking. Everyone gives her the respected greetings she deserves. Straight she goes to the meeting room. To her surprise Melisa, her mother in law is the one leading it.

The sound of the big door opening makes everyone in the room turn his/her attention to Rachel. Others in low tone talk about the bomb that is about to explode. Rachel’s very first person to meet eyes with is Melisa. Slowly the fire of anger starts burning inside her chest. Though she tries to hide it, everyone notices. Nothing more than this can make Melisa any happier.

“ you’re late.” Melisa

“I guess that make your morning good?” She smirks.

" Even better. Could you sit down and be attentive to my upcoming project please?”

“Under whose approval?” Rachel.

“ I didn’t even know I needed one. This company is equally mine.”

“ And that’s where you are wrong. And let me make myself clear: The project I just started needs to be over before any other proposal is made and approved. And if you have any project proposal talk to suggested departments.” She looks at everyone around.

“ The meeting is cancelled. We will have it after lunch.” She looks at Melisa.

“ You may not come unless you wish to madam.” Then off she leaves. Now she is the one with more of volcanic anger inside her.

Rachel gets inside her office and goes straight to her seat. The office with lots of happy memories. Happy history that so many tried to ruin and mostly succeeded. The very same office where their love started and again the office being the reason why everything ended so rudely.

The deep thoughts are interfere with someone knocking the door.

“Come in. ”

The secretary, Bridget comes in with a cup of coffee and sandwich.

“I didn’t order that.” Rachel tells her.

“I was told to madam.”

“ By Who?”

“Well the new cook was told to bring to you but she is a bit busy so she asked me to do it instead.”

“ She is new yet she ordered you.” She look her straight in the eye.

Bridget finds it hard to to look back. She just places the breakfast on the table and leaves, her legs shaking as she feels like the exit door is too far for her to reach.

Rachel’s attention turns to the sandwich and the coffee. She smirks at the site of it. She takes a bite of sandwich and a sip of coffee, tastes great indeed. But then as she swallows she feels the familiar smell, not suitable one for her. Peanut, the one thing she is badly allergic to. Whenever she eats even the tiniest bit of peanut she would cough the whole day, which is what will happen if she doesn’t take medicine on time.

She quickly opens the drawer to take her medicine but suspiciously the medicine box is not where she last placed. Is she thinking what is really done behind this mess?

She calls Bridget with the telephone on the table but she doesn’t respond. She decides to go out of her office without even remembering to lock it.

Everyone turns their attention to her as she comes out of her office.

“ Get her her medicine.” Jackson one of the workers demands. Other two female workers help her out.

On the other hand Frank hasn’t left the old lady til now. The old grandma seems to be very sick and can’t completely be cured. She seems to have lost hope. Lonliness could also be a good friend of hers as he assumes.

Her eyes open once again and the first person to see is Frank’s face, very unsual for her that some new face comes visit her.

“Hello.” She hardly says. Frank who was starting to fall asleep from the chair he is sitting on widens his eyes after hearing her.

“ Hello ma’am. How are you doing now?”

He kindly asks.

” Tired.″ she takes a small breath.

“ Who are you? ” She asks.

“ My name is Frank. My boss and I brought you to the hospital though she is gone already. Don’t worry we don’t do any harm I promise.” He says.

“ Why would you harm a dying lady anyway?” She lightly smiles.

“The doctors said you can live a better life if you take your medicine properly.”

“ Did they also mention how expensive they are?” She smiles. He doesn’t say anything.

“ If I die, my grandson won’t have to sacrifice more just to give me what I need.” She sadly says.

“ Don’t you have kids?” He asks silently regretting why he asked such a question.

“ They are tired of me. My grandson decided to live with me and left all wealth behind.”

“ That means you are loved ma’am.” Frank smiles lightly.

“ Still I want to die. For two years he has been taking care of me. It’s enough. If I live he won’t achieve anything.”

“ Seriously grandma!” A voice from behind almost makes Frank almost jump from the chair. He takes a look at the damn guy and sees the old lady in him somehow. This must be the grandson, he thinks.

The guys runs to his grandma and hugs her tight.

“ Careful young man. That’s too tight for a sick person.” Frank warns, the guy pulls himself from the hug and kisses his grandma’s chick.

“ Never say anything like that grandma. I love you and I won’t let you die when I can do something to prevent it.” The burning tears from his eyes fall lightly. From the look of their faces when they look at each other It is obvious how much they loved each other and how they thought not of oneself but of the other one. Frank became really touched with what he had seen that he can’t wait to tell his boss what he actually saw today. Pure love.

“ So what do you want to eat my old lady.” The guy asks.

“Caleb stop pempering me please.” She laughs a little.

“Come on Granny.”

“Bring me anything you would eat okay?”

“That’s my beautiful lady.” He goes to the a restaurant that’s nearby and buys some food for his grandmother.

*******************

“ Are you okay madam?” Clearly anyone can see how shaking every part of Bridget is. She is responsible for taking care of Rachel’s things in the office yet the medicine was nowhere to be found.

“ A bit better thank you.” Rachel manages to answer with a weak voice as she still coughs a little.

“ I am sorry madam. I thought I put your medicine inside the usual drawer you always put. ”

“ So you don’t remember whether you put it or not, is that correct?” The look that Rachel gives to Bridget is more than enough to send chills all over Bridget’s body.

“ I’m sorry I will be more careful next time. ” She looks down.

“ Who hired the new cook? And who sent her to prepare the sandwich for me?” She asks.

“ She didn’t tell me really. I will call her for you.” She says as she runs out of the office.

The thought of the old lady suddenly comes and that’s when she remembers she hasn’t called Frank to ask how she is doing.

She takes her phone which was on the table the whole time and press the on button. She clicks the caller app and calls Frank. In no time he pick up.

“ Hello madam.”

“ Hi. How are you?” She asks.

“ I am fine ma’am. The old lady is fine too. But she needs medicine and it’s quite expensive.”

“ So mean to say she can’t afford to buy them?”

“It seems so. She only has a grandson that takes care of her so far.”

“No children?”

“I think they abandoned her ma’am.”

“Pay the bill and pay extra money In case she needs anything in the future.”

“Are you sure ma’am? That’s a quick decision!” Surprised is one word describing Frank’s expression right now.

“Rather than having dinner in an expensive restaurant I’d rather help someone in need.” She says.

“ Okay ma’am.”

Suddenly the door clicks open, exposing Bridget who is getting inside.

“The maid is not around, it seems like no one really knows her.”

“ Something smells fishy here.” She thinks for a while.

“ Please find some details about her. No one should know this.” She tells Bridget. Bridget nods and exits the room.

Tears are one thing Rachel hardly controls. Whenever she thinks of how wonderful her life was before the whole incident happened and how life is right now, she just feels unlucky. With everything that has happened money clearly isn’t the only thing capable of making someone happy. She missed him a lot.

New energy is always gained after moments of tears pass. Now she is energized enough to continue with the works at hand.

Late hours arrive. Everyone is already off work. The only ones available are security. Melissa, the mother in law went home even before the curfew.

This is one of the saddest moments of her days. She has to get home where love that once existed is frozen and nothing can melt it. In a world of a lot of people she is all alone and no one to comfort her or at least someone to give her hope that she will be loved once again. Her life is lifeless.

She decides to call it a day anyway. Just when she exits the office and hops inside her car she remembers, the old lady. Maybe she should go and check up on her. The ideas brightens her smile and decides to do exactly that.

She reaches the hospital and calls Frank for more information. Poor guy he was already sleeping. The sound of his very own phone made him silently regret why he didn’t turn it off. But he has to pick it up anyway.

“ Hello.” He says with an angry tone.

“ Sorry Frank I know you might be sleeping already but could you please tell more details about the patient? I want to go see her right now. ”

“Her name is Maria wang. Everything else... Well the nurse on duty will tell you about it.”

“okay goodnight.”

He doesn’t bother saying another word and hangs up the phone.

“ I guess I really tripped this time.” She signs and goes inside the hospital. She asks information about her and is Allowed to see her since she is the one sponsoring her.

Reaching the room she looks inside through the glass made on the upper half part of the door. There goes the old lady sleeping with another guy she has never set her eyes upon holding the old lady’s hand as he looks at her with small tears forming from his eyes. For them only some amount of money is enough to make them happy. Love is the motivation behind wanting money, just a thought she had in mind.

On the other hand, Others crave for a lot a money when they don’t necessarily need it. They have a lot yet they want more, People who think money is everything yet have not at least one honest person they can share it with. Sad. Situation yet they don’t know it is.

Heart ache is what she feels everytime she sees painful love situations. For that Envy is getting used to being her friend. Like right now, The love she sees through the pain of the young guy crying over his grandma seems to be so pure and real. It’s been quite long since she experienced this type o love from anyone, not even from her family.

Internal conflict arise as she debates whether to get inside of just watch them from afar. Before she manages to make a decision the guy raises his head and his eyes and hers meet for the very first time. Sadness and hopelessness are written all over his face. She opens the door and slowly gets inside.

Caleb wipes his tears as Rachel approaches closer to him.

“He... Hello.” He sobs.

“Hello.” She looks at the old lady.

“How is she?” She asks.

“ She is doing just fine.”

She gives a light smile

“That’s a relief.”

“But are you doing here? No offense but it’s late.” He asks.

Rachel thinks for a while, debating whether she should tell him he is the one who helped his grandma.

“I just came to see her. I heard she was not stable.” Partly true.

“Oh... Thanks.” He forces a smile.

“Anyway I will take my leave.” She says as she turns around.

“No you can stay. ” He says with a worried face.

“I ruined your moment to begin with. I can’t stay any longer.” She says.

“Is she the one who paid for the bills?” He whisperes to himself. But then she would say so, he thinks. Rachel exists the room and heads outside. Now the only place left to go is her house. She would have called it home, but whenever she thinks of the word, it hits a different angle of feelings.

She hops inside her car and starts the engine. To her house she goes.

*******************

Not even once did she ever think she’d crave for an appetite, but now she can’t even have that. She only eats so she doesn’t die of hunger or get any problems since she has stomach ulcers already. After a boring dinner she brushes her teeth and goes straight to sleep. She doesn’t want to think of anything, just sleep. She worked so hard to pull herself together in the previous days, she wouldn’t want all that to go to waste again. Luckily she finds herself in a dream that she won’t even remember in the next morning. She never does neither does she want to.

************

A beautiful garden colourful in everywhere, she finds herself in it. The sound of birds is everywhere. Roses are of every color. In between there is a way made of wood, comfortably she walks on it. From afar she sees someone she hasn’t seen for quite long. Someone she always longs to have even though it is impossible.

As happy and excited as she gets, no matter how fast she runs she can’t seem to reach him. She screams his name but he won’t even turn around. Suddenly someone from behind pulls her back, stopping her from running towards her lover untill she feels out of energy. Her legs feel weak and fails to stand still, she kneels down. She still feels the hands of the one who just held her back. She turns around and sees the familiar face.

“Rachel, it’s alrighty. ” Then he wipes my tears away.

“Rachel! Rachel! ”

Suddenly she opens her eyes, breathing harder than normal.

“

Hl

ng here…