What is your opinion?
The child
"I like the fact she was reborn buthe story was very suspicious but I didn't like the fact they. All died"
AMAZING!
"I loved this story honestly it was amazing from beginning to end. Although there were some issues for me as a reader, I felt that at some moments it was a tad unrealistic but overall best short horror story I have ever read.it would have been amazing if you had made it longer and showed more character development but the way you ended it sent shivers up my spine it was awesome. I do hope you write more wonderful horror stories like this one! Can't wait to read more!"
Best book
"Best book ever 🤩 I've enjoyed the book from the start. Nice plot, nice story, nice everything. Kudos to author 👏"
I LOVED IT
"To be honest the story wasn't scare but really fun a really had a very good happy ending not many horra's have. Thank for give me an awsome experience."
Child
"How the mother found out what the problem of the child was I would send this to my mom "
Child
"Best I love it so very much I think in horror people should write stories like these it also presents the love of the mother daughter relationship in the end whatever happens their relationship never ends"
Child
"I love this book it is so good I actually only like specific books but this is good I love it and i would recommend this book to everyone it's just so good"
There has to be a title?
"There are certain stories that are present all around us but we just can't see them. Often, we close our eyes to our surroundings because we think nothing interesting would happen to us. The premise of this story is like that. A happy couple in love, trying to make it through, trying to save their child. A daughter, always chained by her father's rules and regulations, trying not to lose to him. A husband, loving but tired, trying to do his best to ensure comfort to his pregnant lover and soon to be wife. And yet, there's a sinister element. And that sinister element is one of the MVPs of this story. The main thing that attracts you about this story is the writing style. Because the twists don't start until about half of the whole length and yet, you're here, reading, turning pages, hooked. That's a talent Author-san!"
This was awesome!! But I wanted to ask, is there a sequel or is it just a cliffhanger/write your own???
"It's awesome! Keep up the good work!"
I really look this novel Rumi- chan, i would like evryone to read it, its just perfect please more like thiķkkkķkkkkkķkkķkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkks
"Its an perfect book, evryone should read it, i really love this story, many more of this"
The child
"This is great book."
Child
"I am enjoying my time reading the story. Thank you author for this wonderful creation."
Good work but too basic needed more details.
"It was okay but it needed more details. Beautiful story "
Weird Little Girl Strikes Again
"This story had me on the edge of my seat the entire time I was reading. It rly sucks you in and I loved watching the characters unravel as the story progressed. It was a quick read, but a good one. Great writing. "
best book yet
"this is the best horror story i have ever read it's so spicy. i love it your books are the best keep up the good work. love it so much! "
my love for you
"it was indeed awesome"
Love it
"Love everything about this story. Keeping on my toes"
Child
"Interesting yet scary "
Child
"Hi Jacob Fantastic summary line. Chapter One - The start was a bit slow. You could have shortened it and started closer to Hideki’s words about Kumiko’s father. That’s where the interesting part started. I was keen to discover what Mr Sashihara said to Kumiko and Hideki, and why he asked Mrs Sashihara to leave the room. Chapter Two – This started a bit slow too. There was too much about Kumiko and Hideki’s changed attitudes and work. It would have been better starting closer to Hideki’s announcement about Mr Sashihara’s offer. Why did Kumiko say she and Kideki were talking more? Chapter Three – This was flat; you might be able to focus more on Kumiko being rushed to hospital and the birth of Rumi-chan. Why did the doctor ignore the nurse’s warning? Chapter Four – Five years was a large jump from Rumi-chan’s birth. What changed Mr Sashihara’s opinion of Hideki? It started to get interesting when Kumiko and Hideki discussed Rumi-chan’s schooling and lack of friends. How did the cat die? That was too sudden. It was alive minutes before. Then Kumiko and Rumi-chan were home, and the cat was forgotten. Rumi-chan dropped the melon bread in the park, then later she was eating it. Surely that wasn’t the same slice. Then you jumped to the bad news Kumiko’s mother gave her. When did this conversation happen? Chapter Five – What made Rumi-chan let go of the swing? A small child falling from a swing when she was swinging too high would be more likely to have worse injuries than a couple of scratches. Doctors don’t usually give patients their medications; they are bought at a chemist after the doctor has written a prescription. How is it possible for Rumi-chan to be still alive after swallowing Kumiko’s pills, and why didn’t the hot coffee burn her when the doctor couldn’t take more than a sip of it? Chapter Six – Another huge jump and no transaction between the scenes. What happened to the doctor and why didn’t Kumiko care? Why didn’t Rumi-chan like the other children? She seems to be a troubled child. It was a shock when she tried to strangle Kumiko. Perhaps it was Rumi-chan’s way of hugging and didn’t understand. That might have been how the cat died. Chapter Seven – What a shock when Rumi-chan smothered her grandfather and showed no remorse. What made Rumi-chan think her grandfather was bad? It made me think more than ever that Rumi-chan might be autistic. Chapter Eight – Hideki would be more likely to pursue an answer from Rumi-chan about her dislike of him, than to watch television. He’d want to know how he was supposed to have hurt Rumi-chan. Why did Rumi-chan wake up feeling angry? Chapter Nine – It is unlikely that a teacher would think Rumi-chan’s disinterest in her grandfather’s death was normal. Surely Rumi-chan’s refusal to make friends at the school would have made the teacher question from the start what was wrong with Rumi-chan. Chapter Ten – Earlier in the story everyone in the family were happy about the second pregnancy. Now you mentioned that Mr Sashihara told Kumiko to have an abortion or he would cut her off from the family and her inheritance. This chapter would explain many of the previous questions that ran through my mind if it were possible for a child in the womb to understand conversations between the parents. Medical scientists have proved that unborn children respond to vibrations and music. It is more likely the people in Rumi-chan's life, especially Kumico, would have seen something wasn't right with Rumi-chan and sought medical advice early in the story instead of Kumico deciding to end Rumi-chan's and her own life. Chapter 11 - I didn’t find any problems. This story could be brilliant with some rewriting. I wish you great success with it. If you would like to review my book, ‘Who’s There?’, here is the link. Who’s There? https://www.inkitt.com/stories/horror/893926?ink_source=users.profile&ink_block=stories&ink_page_number=&ink_metric= Thank you LittleScribbler"
Wow!
"Just awesome. I like horror, so it isn't easy to give me chills, but this story succeeded. Can't wait to read more from author. "
