Chapter 1
The Logan-Louise Experiment
One Saturday, Louise, Tina, and Gene were walking home from buying things for the restaurant. They had ten extra dollars on them. They ran into Logan, Louise’s arch enemy.
“Everyone look! It’s the Little Easter Bunny,” Logan said. “Look everyone it’s the Hatless Wonder!!” Louise yelled. Logan pushed Louise to the ground and said, “Get out of the way, kid.”
“Hey, don’t push her,” Tina said. “Ya, she may look like just a deadly little girl on the outside, but she’s a deadly little girl on the inside too!” Gene said. “Whatever. Our day was tough and we don’t feeling like dealing with a bunny brat, a nerd a-girl, and night of the living stick to just bread,” Logan said. “Logan, you’re in high school. You’re on easy street, but we got it hard. Do you even know how bad Mr. Frond is? We could go to your school for a month,” Louise said. “We could live at your school for a month!” Gene said. “I’ll go pack,” Tina said. She tries to get home, but as she’s walking away, Logan holds her backpack back.
“Not so fast. We’re prepared to make a bet,” Logan said. “We are?” One of Logan’s friends asked. “Yes! You guys think it’s so easy being in high school, right?” Logan asked. “Easier than Low School,” Gene said. “How about we switch schools for a whole week and see who can last?” Louise said. “Exactly, but when we win you have to give us the money in your pockets,” Logan said. “Don’t do it, Louise. That’s the money we were supposed to use for shopping,” Gene said. “That’s exactly why we are going to use it,” Louise said. “If you win we’ll let you through here without giving you any trouble,” Logan said. “Really? Straight up?” Louise asked. “Yep. Do we got a deal?” Logan asked. “Let me check with my associates. Gene? Tina? Thoughts?” Louise asked. She turned to each of them for a response.
“Well…,” Gene said. “Uh…..,” Tina groaned. “They agree. We have a deal! We’ll meet you here on Monday morning to talk rules,” Louise said. “Ok,” Logan said. Louise, Gene, and Tina started again on their way home. When they got to the restaurant their mom was there.
“Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiids!!!” Linda said. Then, Bob came in from working the grill. “Hey, where are the groceries? You were supposed to get onions,” Bob said. “If you wanna cry, then look in the mirror!” Gene said. “Or imagine what Gene’s gonna grow up to look like,” Louise said. “It was important that you guys got what you were supposed to get. We need the onions for the burger of the day, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off-ions,” Bob said. “Good job, dad. Cheesy as always,” Louise said. “I don’t think it’s cheesy. It’s actually pretty ‘great’ Where’s the ten dollars I gave you for onions, Louise?” Bob asked. “I don’t know,” Louise said. She started walking upstairs.
“I’m getting that money back!” Bob said. “No, no you’re not!” Louise replied. “Yes, I… “ Bob started. “Nope. See-see these stairs? Ya, I’m climbing them. Watch, watch... and… ,” Louise said. “Louise, get back here!” Bob said. “Sorry, dad. Can’t hear you anymore. We’re getting bad reception,” she said as the ran up the stairs. Bob ran up the stairs after her, but fell back down them.
“Must be a bad connection in here. Gene, can you hear me?” Tina said. “Sorry, T, what was that? You’re all scratchy on my end,” Gene said. Tina moved closer to the door. “How is this?” Tina asked. “Still nothing. I think I’m losing you,” Gene said while making scratching noises. “We need to call our phone guy! Where’s his number?” Tina said. “What? We don’t have a phone guy,” Linda said.
“So, how was your day, guys?” Linda asked. “It was scary!” Gene said. “Ya,” Tina said. “Why?” Linda asked. “We made a bet with Logan that we can last in his school for a week,” Tina said. “Alriiiiight!! Gambling!” Linda said. “I’m gonna go upstairs,” Gene said. “Me too,” Tina said. They jumped over Bob, he still hasn’t gotten up, and runs to their rooms.
That night, when Bob and Linda were in bed, Linda told Bob about the bet. “You know what would be fun? Us making a bet!” Linda said. “You mean like...join in on the kid’s fun?” Bob asked. “Ya!” Linda said. “I have the perfect bet,” Bob said. “Ok. What do you have in mind?” Linda asked. “While they’re doing their switching places bet, we’ll do that too, but in the restaurant. I’ll serve the food and you’ll cook the food. You’ll take my place in the kitchen and I’ll take yours at the counter,” Bob suggested. “Fine! You got a deal! What about stakes?” Linda asks. “Linda, we sell burgers. Not steaks,” Bob said. “You know what you mean, smart guy!” Linda said. “If I win you have to do the dishes for a month. If you win, then you can get your hours halved,” Bob said. “Fine. I hope you enjoy extra work, Mr. No Chance!” Linda said. “There’s just one rule, though. Our bet doesn’t end until the kid’s does. Mort and Teddy can judge who did better than the other,” Bob said. “Deal!” Linda said.
The next morning, Tina, Gene, and Louise sat on the couch getting ready for their first day of high school tomorrow. “Let’s get a lot of pencils and notebooks and stuff,” Tina said. “We can’t forget snacks,” Gene said. “How about we bring stuff to mess with the high schoolers?” Louise said. “We should give people a pencil to borrow with no lead inside,” Gene said. “Let’s not go overboard,” Tina said. “Don’t worry. I’ll do some kind of prank,” Louise said.
Meanwhile, Bob and Linda were getting ready for their bet to start. “This is the grill. You gotta turn it on and start cooking,” Bob said. “I know how to cook burgers, Bob! Do you know how to do what I do?” Linda asked. “Yeah, all you do it talk. Mostly to Ginger,” Bob said. “We’ll see if you really know tomorrow,” Linda asked.
On Monday, Louise, Tina, and Gene met Logan in the spot they agreed on at 7:00. “Ok, here are the rules. First, no missing any days of the week, no matter what. Even if you’re sick you still gotta go to school. Second, when the teachers take attendance just pretend you’re us. They don’t know the difference. Last, the parents have to drive us to the school. No buses. Ok?” Logan said. “Ok. When do we need to be at the high school?” Louise asked. “I’d get there before 7:30. What about your school?” Logan asked. “I don’t know. I’m never on time,” Louie said. “7:50,” Tina said. “It’s almost 7:00 now! Let’s go!” Tina said. Bob’s car pulled up a minute later to drive them to the high school and Logan’s mom later came to get Logan. On the ride to the high school, Bob told the kids about his bet with their mom.
“I’m taking you three to the high school, right?” Bob asked. “Yep,” Louise said. “Big news, kids!” Linda said. “Linda, I wanna tell them,” Bob said. “Fine, you tell them,” Linda said. “Well, we...” Bob started. “We made a bet on who can last the week doing each other’s job to join in on your high school bet!” Linda exclaimed. “Linda!” Bob said. “Bob, you talk too slow,” Linda said. “Ya, you do, dad! Remember my birthday last year when everyone was singing the birthday song? Everyone was done and you were on the last ‘happy birthday to you,’” Gene said. They drove up to the school and the kids were amazed by the teens there. Everyone was on their phones. There were groups of kids that were wearing the fanciest clothes. There are also smaller groups of people with band t-shirts and jeans. Everyone seemed to be separated into their own little groups. It was like a zoo for hormone-fueled animals.
