Live for love

New York Institute, inside Alec’s bedroom.

Magnus sat on the edge of the bed with an emotionless dazed look.

The door was opened gently by Alec. “Hey. Can we talk?”

Magnus shook his head. “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel want to talk anything right now.” His voice was still weak and gentle, but his determination was far too strong.

Alec bit his lips tightly with an uneasy feeling, his full of worried eyes measured Magnus’s pale face carefully. Magnus was still in a bad shape since he just waking up from the coma and he also not gained all his strength back yet. Furthermore, there’s something inside Magnus was destroyed him painfully. The power of Lorenzo, something that never belongs to Magnus.

“Magnus.” Alec calling out his lover’s name softly.

Magnus frowned and hissed with an unhappy face. “I can’t believe that you actually gang with the outsider to against with me.”

“I never want to hurt you. I just want to protect you!” Alec replied eagerly.

“Enough! I don’t need your so-called protection at all! Alec, please just leave me alone.” Magnus said desperately.

Alec sighed of sorrow. “I know the magic…is very important to you. I know clearly that you rather die than live in a normal mundane way. But Magnus… I want you to know that you are important to me too. I can’t live a life without you, I want you by my side, I want to stay alive and grow old with you…Don’t you understand all my love to you?”

Magnus gasped and the tears burst in his eyes.

“Magnus, I’m sorry for being too selfish. I know that what happened to you now… That’s all my fault. I’m sorry that I was too naïve and irresponsible, I can’t believe that I let you do such unacceptable sacrifices for me and for the people I love. I’m so sorry… I should stop you from going to Edom. Probably I should just die at that time when the demon-possessed Jace tried to kill me with an arrow. Then, maybe, you won’t be suffered like this anymore.” Alec sobbed and his shoulders were shaking.

Magnus looking at Alec’s crying face with a shocked look.

He never thinks that Alec was actually thinking like that.

“Alexander, how come you have such negative thoughts. Do you really think that I will let you die at that time? If you really can’t survive at that time, I will rather give up my life for you, whatever I do, I’ll certainly saving your life! I don’t care, even I need to make an exchange deal with my father so you can stay alive!” Magnus said sincerely. Then, he stood up slowly, walking toward Alec, and tried to comfort Alec.

Alec gazing at Magnus, and his voice was breaking. “So am I, Magnus. Then, how could you be such merciless to me now? Whatever I do, I just want to make sure you can stay alive! I want you to be alive and stay here with me for a long, long time.”

Magnus’s right hand froze in the middle of the air. He wanted to touch Alec’s cheek, however, what Alec said was stopping him from moving. Magnus swallowed hard and looked away quickly. He took few deep breaths, tried so hard to soothe his complicated emotions.

“Magnus, please don’t push me away. Do you know how it hurts me when I saw the pain that you’ve been suffered? ” Alec said.

Magnus gasped for breath, feeling that he lost the ability to speak the words already.

Alec then continued to say. “Magnus, do you still remember that time when we first met?”

After heard what Alec said, a soft sweet smile showed on Magnus’s face. He was thinking now, those precious memories that they had been going through had brought Alec to him, and those sweet bitter moments that bring them together at last.

Alec was smiling softly now too when his mind flew back to the old memories. “Magnus, you stepped into my life and taught me about love. You let me know what true love is. You made me become a real man who finally can enjoy love and live for love. To love, to trust, to laugh, to cherish… You are always the one that I most desired and cared about. But I’m sorry that I was too stupid, it was too late for me to realize it.”

Magnus turned his face to Alec again, this time he was staring into Alec’s eyes, those beautiful eyes that full of love and affection, but also mixed with desperation and sorrow at the same time.

“You are my world, Magnus. So, please… Don’t let my world falling apart. I cannot lose you, I’m not prepared to lose you yet, and I will never ready for it.” Alec can’t help himself but cry uncontrollably.

“Alexander.” Magnus walked to Alec, then he hugged Alec into his arms.

“Magnus, please…Don’t do that to me. You can’t leave me alone like this… I need you, and I will always need you by my side!” Alec buried his head against Magnus’s shoulder.

“Alexander…It’s okay, don’t cry…” Magnus whispered into Alec’s ear.

“It’s not okay at all! You are going to die, but there’s nothing I can do! I am such useless and stupid! I can’t think straight, I can’t do anything right now!” Alec cried.

Magnus stunned blankly at there and let Alec’s crying and sobbing sound piercing his heart fiercely. After a long while, Magnus took a deep breath and spoke. “I want the power, that’s my choice. Even when I die, I hope that you won’t blame anyone on it, nor you either, my Alexander.”

Alec leaned back but did not let his arms off from Magnus’s waist, then Alec staring at Magnus with an unbelievable look. “I already told you everything inside my heart, but you still want to let go of me?”

“I never want to let you go,” Magnus said with the painful heartache that attacked him.

“You lie. You choose the power over our love, over me… You choose to die and abandon me all alone. You want to leave me here, you don’t want me anymore…” Alec sobbed.

“It’s not true.” Magnus retorted. “I want the power, and I want you too.”

“But you got only one choice to make. Magnus, you need to make a choice. Only one choice, Magnus, you have to pick!” Alec asked. “Then, what would you choose? Me…? Or that kind of power, which never belongs to you and killing you inside continuously? What would you choose? Pick it now, Magnus!”

Magnus looked down and ducked from Alec’s burning sight.

“Magnus, answer me. Please…” Alec was begging now. “Please choose me…”

Magnus gasped and stared back at Alec, both of them were being emotional.

The most difficult life choice, indeed.

After a long silent moment…

“I want the power,” Magnus said.

Alec released a soft mock laugh, feeling acted like a fool all the time. Then, Alec let go of Magnus slowly. On the other hand, feeling that his waist relaxes from Alec’s hands, Magnus frowned and continued his rest sentences quickly with trembling louder voices. “But I need you most!”

“…What?” Alec looked confused.

“I said… I want the power. Yes, I want that damn stupid power indeed, but I need you most! Alexander, I need you!” Magnus replied firmly.

“Magnus,” Alec whispered Magnus’s name, feeling his cold heart getting warm again. After that, Alec pulled Magnus into his arms tightly one more time. This time, he felt the impulse burned in his bottom heart.

“Please don’t let me go, my Alexander,” Magnus said with a tender tone, his unusual no make-up face looked paler with the tears of sadness and joy. Without power, it was hard for Magnus, but he will still be survived. But without Alexander, Magnus doesn’t think he will have the chance to be survived. The power of love? It’s a difficult question. However, Magnus chooses to live for love for the rest of his life, with Alexander together with him.

Alec was shaking his head and answered in a firm tone. He reassured. “Don’t worry, my love. I won’t let go of you, I’ll never let you go again.” Alec leaned closer to Magnus, then he kissed away the tears on Magnus’s face. His lips touched Magnus’s skin is very gentle and slowly moves, but the kisses showed his love towards Magnus deeply.

All we need is to have faith in love. When we live for love, there’s nothing to be afraid of.

“You’re everything I need.” Magnus gazing into Alec’s red teary eyes, smiled with joy, feeling that his heart was overwhelming by Alec’s warmth. He felt peace when surrounded by Alec’s arms, it made him felt safe and sound. But still, Magnus felt worried too.

“I’m afraid that I might become your burden…” Magnus sighed heavily. “You should know that, without the power, I’m not the Magnus Bane anymore. I am useless, I am nothing but troubles.”

“No… Please don’t feel like that! Trust me, you will be okay. You are strong, even without your power. Magnus, your valuable knowledge, your unbeatable intelligence… You are strong, and you know it. I will always need you, and I will always rely on you.” Alec said.

“Alexander.” Magnus looked sad.

“Don’t you trust me?” Alec asked.

“I trust you,” Magnus answered softly.

Alec smiled. “That’s it.” He sighed in relief. “Never look little on yourself, Magnus. I need you to stay by my side and take care of me in the future as always as you did. You need to guide me and lead me to the right path, I need your assistance too. You should know it, no one can replace your place in our hearts. I need you, my friends and family need you too.”

Magnus laughed gently, but his sad voice tone was low. “Such a bad liar. All of you need a powerful warlock, instead of a useless mundane form warlock.”

“Magnus…” Alec clung closer to Magnus. “I need you, don’t push me away.”

“I’m afraid when the time coming, it’s you the one who pushes me away after you realized how useless I am to you.” Magnus bowed and raised his right hand, there’s a flash of blue magic light appeared on his right hand.

“MAGNUS! You should stop it! It is not wise to use Lorenzo’s power again, it could kill you!” Alec gripped Magnus’s hand tightly to stop him from performing any magic trick.

“…I just want to feel…Maybe it’s the last time for me to use the power…” Magnus said sadly.

“Hey…I’m with you, okay? I will never leave you.” Alec hugged Magnus into his arms again.

“Alexander,” Magnus whispered. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Alec pressed a tender kiss on Magnus’s forehead.

Magnus smiled with tears falling on his cheek. Even though he chooses to live for love, but there’s something that couldn’t change. That’s the truth of a part of him was died inside, without the power.

[The End]