Red
It was summer and I was 15. I was out with my bestfriend and the boys were there to. I saw him there. I instantly knew it was him. It had to be him. “Marianna!” I jumped. It was Manuel, my brother.
I look back and I see Manuel with Angela and Elijah and Gonzo right beside him my people. I start to think how lucky I am with them in my life. As I focus again, I hear Manny talking about “the skraps.” I realize he means the amazing boy I saw earlier. How can he be so perfect and a member of the Crips? He’s ruining my chances with him. I think to myself as a joke. “Manny its just a color do you have to make everything gang related” I say.
Maybe I shouldnt have spoke that night but I did for some reason I did. Elijah confidently speaks up, “The letter N is ours. It’s the only thing we claim, along with our women.” With a smirk on his face, Elijah looks directly at me. My heart started racing when I realized Elijah still had feelings for us. It scared me because I had moved on, but I had to pretend for our friends. His presence was tearing us apart. Manny tells me to remember where we came from. I hold on to that forever, even when we’re old. I look away.
Elijah still staring at me lets out a big sigh and walks away. I could tell he wanted my response, but it pained me to know he was hurting. He couldn’t be with me in the end, even though it was all he ever wanted. He used to tell me. “Marianna your the only girl ill ever want the only one ill ever need your it for me please dont do this”. I recalled him saying these words in my head the day I left him.
Because I was lost in thought, I left myself outside. Everyone went into the party, but the “skrap” approached me and asked, “Are you Marianna?“” “Mari” I responded. He smiled “Well I heard your buddys call you Marianna”, he replied. “Thats because thats my brother and Elijah there on full name bases”. His perfectly sculpted face dropped “your Manuels sister”, he asked panicking a little. “I just said that did I not”. He gave me a funny look “you have a little attitude problem”. I rolled my eyes when he stood there. He seemed perfect in every way. In a perfect world, I could have him. But the world isn’t perfect.
“MARIANNA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING” I see a very drunk Elijah walking towards me and the skrap. “Well Mr can I atleast get a name before our night comes to and end”, I asked him before Elijah got to us. “David” he replied as he walked away. Elijah says, “Marianna, you can’t talk to him. He’s a skrap. Are you asking us to cut you off?” He looks so deeply into my eyes that anyone around could tell he is in love with me. I giggled and said “cmon Elijah lets go inside its cold”. We started walking and he whispers “Mari it will be us forever”. Suddenly I remeber old times when it was just me and him before everyone elses feelings got involved. When we were a secret. We cant go back though to many peoples feelings are involved now.
Elijah hugged me and I hugged him back. He kept his arm around me, maybe because it was cold or maybe because I needed it. I didn’t move away. Elijah made me feel familiar, like we would be together forever, no matter what. I thought about the first time me and Elijah met in P.E. He was staring at me, so I asked him if he had a staring problem. He shook his head yes my first thought was what a weird kid but I found out this is how he is. We started walking the track. He approached me and called my name, Mari. He tapped my shoulder and I scowled. Yet, he responded with a smile. At that moment, I didn’t know his name. People knew my name because I was known as Manny’s little sister. “my names Elijah” I looked him up and down “hmph”. “So are you not a speaker or something”. I laughed so loud because he asked me if i was a speaker or not I responded “Am I a speaker? I mean I dont think im blutooth and I cant play music”. He gave me a silly look. “you think your so funny dont you” he said. “yes I do as a matter of fact everyone does” I told him. “confidince is key” Manuel said. “why does manny always pop up talkin mess”. Elijah looked awkward I wondered if Sean told him about his rule for me and his friends that they were off limits. “Mari” I hear elijah say super quietly causing to break my thoughts again. I see him pointing at Manuel. I walk Elijah to the couch and have him sit there. He nodded off quickly because he was very tired. Manny sits down next to us and says “Marianna I saw you guys hug I hope your not doing this again”. I broke up with him to save your friendship, as you asked. Now he’s miserable without me, and it hurts to see that. I can’t go back; he needs to heal without me.
Marianna, even though we’re not related, I love you like family. I tease you, but it’s only because I care. I don’t want you to end up like the girls I’ve dated. That’s why we’ve never taken things further. We’ve been close for a long time because you’re different. From the day we met, I knew it could be us against the world. But your future is important, and these boys won’t help. I don’t want you to get pregnant before living your life. You’re smart and beautiful. Please don’t waste it on someone who doesn’t deserve you in the end. Manuel always tells me how important I am, but I’ve never believed it. Tonight, his words had special meaning. He believes I’ll succeed doing what I love, despite the gang life he’s trapped in.
When I met Manuel he was nothing like he is now he was a sweet innocent boy who loved food. He played football and he skated. We became bestfriends when we met at the skate park we would meet everyday until. The day came where they got Manny the day he got jumped and hes never been the same since. We were at the park skating with Luis and some other regulars. Luis got a call and walked away. I heard him say, “yea bruh I got it.” He hung up and punched Manny in front of everyone. I ran to check if my brother was okay, but they had already jumped him. I yelled at them, “GET OFF OF HIM! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU GUYS? HE’S YOUR FRIEND!” Then I saw Manny’s blood brother give Luis a hundred dollars. This angered me even more Seeing Manny with his broken nose and him not being able to do anything broke me. I screamed, “Luis, why did you do this to Manny? He didn’t deserve it. Mario, how could you pay someone to harm your own family? Mario looked at me and said, “You’ll understand soon, Mari.”
Manuel changed after an attack in the park. He became focused on money and being cautious. I still don’t know why he was targeted. Losing Manuel to the streets was really painful for me. Even though I got a new Manuel, the chubby funny one will always be my favorite. “What are you thinking about Marianna” Manny asks. “I replied, ’Everything,’” I said, looking at him. His face appeared uneven since they broke his nose. That was the only thing left from that fight. He said, “Stop. You couldn’t change anything that day, Mari. It needed to happen. I’m happy now, okay? Don’t think that I don’t have fun anymore. I do. I’m having fun right now with you and the group. So, stop thinking it was your fault. I’m better now, and that will never happen again.” “Oh snapppp” I hear Angela say I turn around shes with Tank and Gonzo “TANK how have you been I havent seen you in so long”.
Me and Tank went to school together so we knew eachother outside the friend group. “Mari you havent talked to me all night whats going on”, I hear Gonzo say “Me too”, angela replied. I laughed “im sorry guys im just missing the old days”, “you mean the days when it was just you Manuel and Elijah” Gonzo says. Before everything happened, it was genuinely the best times. Gonzo shrugged his shoulders, as he usually does when he doesn’t know what to say. I’m not as close with Gonzo as I am with Manny, Elijah, or Angela, because Gonzos is Manny’s friend. Gonzo and I met at a party two summers ago. He was cool and had Manny’s support, so when things got tough, Gonzo had my back, which was reassuring. Gonzo and Manny were both young kids who got involved in gang life. But the streets respected Gonzo, who did “Norte” stuff. I didn’t get close to Gonzo because Angela loved him. Angela was my best friend, and she wasn’t close to Elijah. Gonzo wanted us to be closer, but I didn’t let him be there when he tried. Although it wouldnt be betraying Angela she would see it like that.
I met Angela when I was young, and she’s been my best friend ever since. I see her as a sister more than anything now. At that time, she was the only friend I had who was close to being normal. But, of course, nobody is completely normal. Other wise we would be boring and Angelas anything but boring. Shes gorgeous, Funny, Understanding. The one thing Angela isnt is a fighter. She doesnt fight she never knew how to. So ive always been there for when the girls who dont like her try to fight because that us. I wouldnt even risk losing her. So anything that might make me lose her I never did. Her family takes me in from time to time when I need it. I’m not sure if I’m as important to her as she is to me, but I hope so. If I lost Angela, I would lose myself, and that would be awful. Shes my soulmate and my bestfriend I need her in my life forever. I remeber the day like yesterday, “Angela whyd you unfollow me cause of danny really,” daisy said.
“no it was because hes my ex and you bought a ticket for him at the game so you guys basically went together.” Angela said
“why are you even so mad about it like cmon I dont know why Marianna always has to tell you everything she finds out.” Daisy responded
“Daisy get my name outta of your mouth with your big ass nose just be quiet” Mari replied
Daisy walked away from us but I heard her say she was gonna run up. I thought it would be on me, but it was on Angela. I watched Angela get beat for less than 2 minutes. Before I could intervene, Manny grabbed me. He whispered in my ear, “Stop, we don’t fight, it’s cowardly.” I started kicking and everything in my power so he let me go and he wouldnt.
