1. Bonds.
You wake up to hear your mom shouting "It's the last time I'm saying, wake up y/n , it's already 6:30!!"
You jolt up in an instant realising that you slept in late, again.
You rub your eyes while mouthing a 'sorry' to your mother who seemed mad enough to throw you right into your morning routine.
You walk out of your bed after scanning your room, looking at the clock, letting out a deep sigh. It was 6:40 A.M by the time you actually grab your brush.
You hated waking up early because you simply couldn't sleep at night and it had become a regular thing. It was as if ' function on 3 hour sleep' challenge going on in your life.
A life that seemed really simple and quiet but was actually quite rough to handle. You didn't know it was going to be even more messy after a week or so.
You were a hard-working student, majoring in History and Literature and you loved art, music and culture. You were just polar opposite to your parents who were astrophysicists. Now that your mother was your only family left, you wanted to give her a peaceful life.
She also worked hard everyday, despite being exhausted both mentally and physically. You were determined to get a part time job or a full time job, being said that you were already in your final year.
While hoping for a good day, you walked out of your bathroom and scan your own room, for no reason at all. Your room was practically looking like a study room by then, considering that you had two bookshelves aligned behind a study table aside of which sat a 'mini arcade' as you called it, your techno corner, where you spent most of your leisure if you actually wanted to relax your mind.
Your mother usually hated when you did so because you boomed the house with loud music, over with your so un-melodious voice screaming and shouting, deafening her. You opened your wardrobe to choose an outfit for the day.
As you faced your dresser, you whispered, "I hate you for not sleeping", seeing your eyes being a little puffy even after bathing and rubbed the mirror trying to change your reflection, also making the irritable screeching sound, like everyday. This was your habit, by now, you've never liked your face, nor yourself. Not because you weren't beautiful, but because you never believed anyone if they said so.
You acted confident but somehow, you were low-key insecure about your appearance.
But then again, nothing ever changes, you're the same person, just a little more damaged so you don't smile much as well, keeping away from world.
You get ready, wearing a simple aqua blue, frilled georgette blouse pairing it with a black jeans. You walk out through the small alleyway after glancing at your reflection once more, to the breakfast while checking your phone, if you had received any response from all the job applications you had filed for.
But you put the phone on table, disappointed knowing that there were none. You were trying so hard to be selected, even at any internship so that you could make sure you help your mother, financially.
You walk to the kitchen.
"What's cooking?" You asked your mother.
"Er, just sandwiches." She replied, hastily pulling out another slice of bread from the pack.
"Okay... these many are enough,You should go and start eating, I'll bring more and the one in the grill" you muttered before you took charge, letting her rest. She walked to the dining, few metres away from the you,
"I've got an early morning shift today, y/n." She informed, sitting on the dining table, meant for more than who sit and eat together everyday. Superiority of time has left only two of you in the world to be called a family.
You walk over, with two plates full with grilled bread sandwiches, stuffed with alot of veggies and cheese.
Sitting the plates and seating yourself across your mother, you chirped, "Okay, so get ready, I'll drop you on my way."
The two of you ate in silence, jotting the detailed tasks about your day in your heads.
You realised that you had an interview that but you didn't had any fair footwear to wear as the older ones seemed quite damaged. You contemplated to ask for your mother to lend you her heels.
"Also, mom, I guess I have an interview scheduled for today, so would you mind lending me your maroon heels?" You and your mother were carbon copies, looked alike, behaved alike. You had inherited her long silky hair, beautiful big eyes and a sharp brain too.
"Oh I will, but I do hope that you can just get a job today.." It was an anxious tone. "Like- right away... I don't really think being a major in literature makes a solid CV in today's tech world, I hope you realise this now." She completed her sentence.
Yes you did realise that not being a scientist was "tough life" but you hadn't any regret for you loved what you did. But now...when your father was no longer here, it was diffrent, you felt a responsibility on your shoulders. Your mother was becoming acquainted with more and more diseases by passing months and some of them, were chronic.
You were worried.
"Don't worry mother, I'll get my way through" was all you could say for now even if you had started to doubt your decisions. You were scholar in your University, apart from being a multilingual. You could read and write French, English, German and Korean (given that your dad was korean). You loved reading emotions, colours, poetry, sociological patterns, history, psychology, basically you loved learning about culture and exploring the diversity of the world. It amused you, how people's tongue, behaviour and even intellect changed with the geographical latitudes and longitudes.
"I'll bring good news today" you muttered to yourself looking up at the sky before you glanced at your mother walking towards you after locking the house. With such a optimistic mindset, you headed towards your car with your mother. You drove her to her lab. She was an assistant to the man who had taken your father's position in the lab. She worked hard but her salary didn't do her justice and both of you, hated that.
Later, you drove to your University.
You reached your class on time. But something unusual happened, everyone was staring at you in surprise, and admiration. You couldn't figure out why. You looked at your clothes from top to bottom, everything seemed fine. You fixed your hair before walking towards Mia and taking a seat beside her. She was scribbling something on her notepad, she didn't notice you until you tittered, "Hey Mia! Ssup?"
She looked up and flashed her wide grin. She held your hands and almost jumps before you stop her with "What's the excitement for, babe?" In a screeched voice, you spoke without intentending to.
"Bro, don't play me now! I'm sooooOOoOOooOoO happy for you, Congratulations!" She mocked in a breathe. You couldn't figure out why exactly was that for and looked around the room, now nobody out of only few sitting was staring at you, everyone busy with themselves.
Maybe my hair weren't tidy.
"Ok, I don't understand what you're talking about, please bother?" You sounded little confused.
Mia slapped your arm before shouting "You won the friggin- Again, Jesus Christ, God I can't believe you won the International Essay Competition bitch!"
"Ok I- what?" You utter, her words being repeated in your head as you gazed in disbelief. You had attempted a Korean Essay Competition held under the MUN- culture party over the topic 'Diplomacy'
But that was a year ago?
"I guess you haven't checked your mail...I found out when someone from Dean's office called for you." Mia informs and gestures you to sit down with her small fingers before sitting. You sat besides her and flung your Mail box open right away before realising that you hadn't switched on the internet when you checked before breakfast.
How dumb.
So. After going through a big mail of congratulations and seeing a big certificate attachment.You see another mail from the same name, Embassy of the Republic of South Korea, (your/country/name)
So.
You read it once.
I don't believe.
You read it twice.
I think Jesus loves me the most.
I wish it was a French competition, though.
You took a deep breathe and shoved your phone into Mia's face.
"What the hell" she spat.
"Bro, read this, I'm going to Dean's office" you yell, smiling from ear to ear in a cutest way possible.
You blew a kiss to her face, which she obviously didn't notice, because she couldn't believe a shit that she was reading.
You walked your way towards Dean's office.
You heard Mia shouting, "You one lucky dumbheaded purple loving rainbow classic girl, I love you. " behind you, you turn around to give her an air hug, and ran. Like, literally ran to the Dean's office.
****
You enter a spacious room with a large sized desk in the centre. You saw the old man. His skin was gleaming as he looked concentrated. He was working on his laptop and didn't seem to have noticed your presence. You walk closer and say your greetings.
He looked up and smiled. "Oh you're here, y/n. I'm proud of you, my dear. I'm happy that you have made our university so proud after many years." He spoke slowly and gently.
"Thank you, sir, for providing me such an opportunity, to showcase my talent." You responded as you smiled humbly. He shifted in his chair, directly facing you now.
"Okay, well. What are you thinking about the internship?" He enquired.
"Uh, sir, I am not sure because if it is not a paid internship or if not like a scholarship, I can't make use of the opportunity.....I am financially unstable...right now." You hesitate, trying to hide your discomfort. You had recieved an offer for being a Liberal Arts Scholar intern at the Seoul National University, South Korea.
You wouldn't have let the opportunity slide if your father was here to support your mother. But now, it's different. All you need is money and being able to take care of your mother.
You had read the mail, you were excited, sure as hell, but as you made your way to Dean's office, you considered few more things that included leaving your mother alone and going for internship, which probably doesn't offer any money.
Dean took a pause, trying to understand your situation as you hadn't been clear enough for him to understand as to why you're considering refusing the offer.
"Y/N, do you know that there are only six candidates selected for this internship, from around the world?" Your eyes widened when he informed that. You didn't know, you couldn't believe what you had just heard, you were pretty confident about your essay but it was hard to believe that your essay was among the top six.
You wanted to have the internship, you wanted to go to Seoul, embrace the language and culture your dad grew up with. You wanted it so bad...but you couldn't tell yourself to take the risk.
"Sir, I would love to embrace the opportunity if I am paid for this, considering the fact that I would have to leave my mother alone for three months, that means risking alot, sir I hope you understand what I'm trying to say." You respond after heaving a deep sigh.
He processed the information. Your Dean cared for you, he had seen you grow for past four years, he was proud of you. Being close to your parents, he was like a guardian at your college.
"Okay. So. I can't say much but I really think that you should submit the documents to the embassy by tomorrow ..... " He said before taking a pause. "Don't let this opportunity go, y/n I think they will offer you a moderate rank job at KCC of (your country name)." He concluded and crossed his fingers on the desk.
A job?
Right after three months of internship?
Just three months?
At KCC?
I can't leave my mother alone.
No.
Okay, but what if I get a good salary?
I can simply ask Mum to quit?
But I do not have any money to travel to and live in Korea for three months!?!
Ah. Ha. Ha. Ha.
"Sir, I don't have money enough to travel and live in Korea for three months, that's a long time." You uttered, your voice almost cracking with disappointment. You gazed down and didn't look up unless you heard his laughter.
"Oh my dear y/n, why are you making your life about money? You're such a bright child, come on, smile now" He waved your stress, waiting for you to smile. You were surprised of how he suddenly switched to the uncle who used to visit you on weekends when your father cooked his favourite dish. You felt comfortable, a little.
You forced a smile.
"Sir I want to but I cann- " you had only begun.
"Oh, they are taking the expenses of your accomodation for three months and as for travelling...you really think I won't help you?" He said. Your heart warmed up a little.
But you were still worried about your mother.
"Sir, I- ..thank you so much. I will talk to my mother about it, because I want this as much as you do, believe me." You whisper. Too fast, almost in a breathe.
"Ah, y/m/n would be ready, you're just being too anxious, my child. And if she has any problem, my wife and I will take care. Don't worry. Just be happy, okay? Cheer up, you're a bright child" He smiled. It signalled towards the end of the conversation as he shifts again, looking at his laptop.
"Thank you so much, sir. Your kind words and all of your help means so much to me, I'll forever be grateful" You bowed.
He looked up, and said "Get ready for good days, haha."
You turned around and get out of the office and ring up your mother. "Ah, y/n I'm busy, don't tell me the interview is rescheduled?" She replied in a hurried voice.
"Oh no, mum, I have received and international internship offer, I'll have to-" you started explaining.
"A what?" She seemed to be surprised or probably unable to hear at the same time.
"Ugh. Mom just be back home early, we'll talk later." You waved it off before disconnecting immediately. She didn't call back. You had totally forgot that you had an interview scheduled today. You rushed up to the library, place all your documents neatly to prepare for the interview, skipping a class.
Also, you text Mia that you're in library and you'd be leaving early.
"Ugh. I wanted to talk and you're telling that you'd leave, bitch I'm your best friend." She replied.
"Ah, sorry. I have a lot on my head. Stay over tomorrow, let's have fun." You uttered.
Your interview went well but you didn't care much about it, all you could think was about the internship and being a worker at KCC (Korean Culture Centre).
You drove home after a long and consuming day.
You entered your house to find your mother sitting in the living room already. She was scrolling through her mobile, drinking coffee.
You remembered she had said that she had an early morning shift today.
"Hey mom" you greeted her to get some attention.
"Oh, sit y/n, I'll get you a coffee and tell me about the interview..." she said as she rose up to walk towards the kitchen, keeping down her glasses.
"Don't bother mom, I have more important things to talk about" you spoke plainly in a soft but exhausted voice, sitting across. She looked surprised. But you knew she'd be further astonished after hearing the news.
She sat back and smiled warmly.
"What happened? Your mother asked.
You told her about the internship, the job, financial help from your Dean and everything that happened today. She replied with small 'hmms' and bright smiles.
"Wow, " She beamed with surprise, excitement bubbling through her usual, stern personality as you ended explaining.
"I want you to go." She concluded.
"Mum, I can't leave you alone!" You complained, slightly confused as your heart and mind couldn't negotiate over current situation.
"No darling, whatever has been happening for past days...I see you've become responsible and very caring towards me, but I cannot halt your progress because of my illnesses. I don't want to feel guilty, I guess." She said with a smile.
You understood. What if this decision is the one that will change things for better, you thought and said "Okay. I guess I have some documents shuffling and refining to do, help me, mum"
You replied to the GREAT GREAT mail, listed all the documents you needed and started collecting them in a file that you'd present to the Head of the Foreign exchange department of the Korean Embassy of your city, tomorrow.
You wrote 14th November 2019, on the journal that you have been writing, for your father, wishing that he would see, someday.
But you knew that he could never come back, could never see you progressing and becoming a responsible adult. Sadness brimmed in your eyes as you wrote. But all of your tears became smiles as you ate dinner with your mother with all the exciting conversations about shopping you had to do, for your stay and all the funny things that could be happening.
"Y/n " her tone became serious "....I hope you find a guy there, " she joked and both of you bursted out in laughter at her cute tease.
What if? Such a thought crossed your mind but you pushed it away.
Next day, you went to the embassy. Waiting for your appointment was longer and more difficult than you had expected. There wasn't much crowd but everyone seemed busy. Just when your patience was about to go out, receptionist called you and asked you to go in the small room a few metres away from where you were standing.
You entered the cubicle revealing a small man with monolids alike your father, you felt that's what you'll be seeing alot for next few months. He asked you to sit across his desk as he scanned and verified your documents. He didn't look very happy when he saw your bank records. When he finished, he asked you to apply for a student visa. He also warned you to carry enough money to return on your own, in cases of emergency even after knowing that you were b-r-o-k-e.
"Anyways. There couldn't be an emergency. They'd pay for my return flight just as written on papers." You told yourself and chalked out of the room.
So, things were settled.
You were leaving for South Korea on 21st of November, in a week to be precise.
After attending a 'knowledge knowledge- knowledge-skill-skill-skill-knowledge-skill-exam-skill knowledge'
For three months, you'd be back.
And you'd be back by 24th of Feburary, 2020 with a job recruitment letter for KCC in your hand, you prayed.
But that was what you thought.
There were other things waiting for you.
