Expose Me

Taking a deep breath, feeling it spreading throughout her body as she stretched her arms above her head, taking her position before plunging into the water, feeling free. Today is going to be a good day, she told herself, swimming in smooth laps, keeping her eyes focused on holding her breath naturally as her body glided through the NYC campus pool. She was all but alone, save for a coach privately training a student after hours. Her soft brown hair was tucked inside a black swim cap, but it was getting longer, and that meant she had to cut it eventually. But she had use for her long hair in the upcoming frost of New York’s bitter Fall leading into the Winter. What else was going to keep her warm when she needed it?

When she couldn’t take anymore, she hoisted her body up the side steps, out of the pool, grabbing a nearby towel to dry off, and snatched her keys as she walked to the ladies’ locker room. She heard the echoing voices of the people inside but it was still somewhat empty. She loved the peaceful feeling after she did laps, people left her alone, and she could gather her thoughts together when it came time for her to write her first novel. The one nobody but her knew about.

Kate Paulson shut her gym locker and dressed into her normal clothes to meet her friends at the local pub, O’Reilly’s, for a late lunch early dinner. Knowing Kate, it was going to be dinner anyway. She’d controlled her eating habits when she arrived in her first year, being an extremely busy college student made it challenging to take care of herself, but she learned how to balance it all together.

She placed her emerald necklace back on and ran a brush through her hair. She could dry it but she didn’t feel like it. She wasn’t going to impress anyone tonight, not that anyone approached her as they did her more extroverted and attractive friends. She was the plain Jane of the group in glasses that made her boring blue eyes look beady, almost black. Maybe it was the punk rock attitude she sometimes had that made her sometimes stand out.

She checked the time, she was looking good at making it to the library after her early dinner. She was getting used to the study schedule, unlike her friends, who moaned and whined whenever they touched base. She adored them, they kept her life filled with brevity, but they were children at times, and they knew it.

Kate always said you have to work first, then play later, her friends didn’t roll that way. Most of them were from here and extremely liberal in their free time. She’d never judged them, and in turn, they didn’t mock her conservativeness. Once in a while, she had to let loose and take a break. Dinner was as far as she went, her studies were far more a priority if she wanted her life to go anywhere significant. She made sure she had her alarm switched on to remind her of tomorrow’s deadline.

Kate fluffed her hair out, reapplied her makeup, and stared at herself in the mirror. It’ll have to do for now. There was no point in fussing over the semantics of her appearance, she never won the battle anyway. Her face was too plump and round, her small mouth wasn’t inviting any onlooker from across the street. Then again, she wouldn’t trust men from Manhattan, she was too average for their high maintenance preferences, especially the ones in suits.

She is 23-years-old and a Freshman, why was she worried about that? It wasn’t like she was about to meet her soulmate tonight, although, it would be nice. Maybe she was silly to still believe in that stuff, but she didn’t care. The idea of falling in love is fascinating, and if she could write about it someday, even better. That right there just proved she was not ready for it.

She shut her locker, grabbed her lock, and made her way out of the pool room. Her phone vibrated a new text message.

Babe! Meet us at 14th Street 😎

We gotta catch up 😘

See ya there 😁

Kate huffed, drinking and eating, sometimes that’s best done alone. Maybe her friends can do most of the talking which normally they did.

She continued on until she spotted the pub all the students went to, she found her friends at their usual booth, they waved her over and she tried to get in the mood for all the loudness that would be coming her way.

A couple of them had already gotten their drinks, munching on chips and salsa. Kate just ordered a beer, nothing special, and scooted next to Hannah Michaels, her golden blonde hair fell in waves down her back. She was the complete resemblance of Princess Aurora, with violet eyes, but she was anything but a princess in personality. Sometimes Kate envied her friends more than she admitted. She smiled as they paid for her when she offered.

“Hey guys, thanks, sorry I’m late. How’s everyone doing?” Kate asked the group, perking up suddenly.

“Sucks ass, but it’s whatever, hungover last night, that’s why I started early tonight,” Marie said from across, raising her drink to toast herself, Kate smiled, shaking her head.

“Well, this guy is like following me around, told him to fuck off, hell if that worked. I think he started to stalk my dorm room. Requesting changing locks if he somehow gets my key. It’s like, fuck, come on, man. What’s the best way to tell a guy no?” Jessica quipped to everyone, flinging her fire engine red hair out of her eyes.

Hannah snorted. “Easy, plan your lives together, down to the wedding and the family we know he doesn’t want, just tell him everything right away. I swear this shit works. He will be obsessed no more when he sees how much you care or act like it. They all play this game, but we play it better if we’re a few steps ahead of them. Guys think they’re so slick. Fuck ’em.”

Ever the realist and at times, brash feminist, there’s always that friend to bring you down to reality, that was Hannah in a nutshell. Kate was grateful to have her as a best friend, her first real friend in the city. It was a real shame they weren’t roommates because they were like sisters, Hannah was that loyal friend that would take your call whenever you were knee-deep in trouble, and vice versa.

Kate chuckled, blushing, Hannah eyed her for a moment, propping her chin on her hand with a raised eyebrow. “So, what about you, Kate? Anybody almost promising in your life?”

Kate’s eyes expanded, she rubbed the back of her neck, feeling put on the spot. Hannah and her straightforward questions always threw her at a loss for words. Kate’s eyes wandered to the front entrance, watching as a tall, brunette man wearing a Peaky Blinders grey cap, pulling open the door with his massive hand. His carefree smile pierced his masculine features, completely changing his rugged-looking face into a much youthful one, making him appear ten years younger than he was.

Kate’s mouth parted watching his rotund blue eyes revealing themselves as he briefly removed his black-rimmed glasses to clean them. She kept staring at his mouth, wondering what kind of kisser he was. She blushed harder, shaking her head, hearing Hannah’s voice bringing her back to reality.

“Kate? You there? Guys, we lost her already.” Hannah laughed, pulling her friend back.

“Hmm?” She muttered, facing away from the man and back onto her friends all staring at her. “Sorry, what was that?”

They all laughed at her, Kate joined in, laughing a bit louder to hide her embarrassment. Her blushing rose to a temperature she only felt before she had to give an oral report in class.

“We asked if you had eyes for anyone? My guess is yes, but, we’ll let you answer for yourself.” Hannah said coyly, sipping her drink, placing an olive in her mouth.

Kate shook her head vehemently. “No, I don’t think so.”

They looked at her, waiting to continue, Kate just shrugged.

“Those things take work.” She said.

“Not really, just know how to play the game. Always act like you don’t want it and you’ll always get it. Bonus points if you ignore him completely, you know, act like you have a life when you don’t. They love it when you treat them like shit, especially the good-looking ones since they aren’t expecting it. Remember, whoever cares less controls everything.” She smirked.

Kate grinned, awkwardly wincing at her friend’s blunt analogies, probably from some relationship advice book she’d read recently. “I don’t play games. So no, I have no interest in anyone right now.” She sighed heavily, realizing her alarm was about to go off, rolling her eyes as she stood up. “I gotta run, need to finish some stuff. Sorry guys, we’ll catch up again soon.”

“You just got here,” Hannah complained, Kate realized she was right but she couldn’t get out of this one.

“I’ll WhatsApp you guys after. If I get started on this early I can have a lot of time left over.”

Hannah shook her head. “Don’t know how you do this, but alright then.”

Kate relented, staring at the grey cap guy briefly, Hannah looked in her direction and Kate stared away quickly, not trying to get distracted again, with that guy. Her friend raised her brow, Kate took up her purse, getting ready to leave the table, regrettably.

Jessica and Marie were rambling to each other about a Prince Charming, Kate figured it was something to do with a guy they met, they were giggling at something while looking on their phones, Kate didn’t relate to the situation, both girls looked up just as Kate turned around and caught her eye, nodding.

They waved her off, understanding that her studies were more important than a social life, she could always check in on their group chat. Kate turned around and shuffled out the door, making her way toward her dorm room. Since she left early, she wasn’t going to eat dinner late or fall asleep in the library again.

Kate let her friends know how sorry she was and they mocked her innocence like they always did, but it was in good fun, they weren’t mean or cruel, Kate knew she was a bit boring in the way she lived her life. But at least she had friends to lean on when she needed them, the same went for them.

She grabbed her textbook and shoulder bag, making sure she had her notebook and necessary paperwork to complete her assignments. School was tedious for her but it was mandatory, Kate was the type of person to rarely complain, her friends understood but they told her she was devoting every second of her life to it. Maybe, just like tonight, barely twenty-five minutes had gone by and she stood up to leave, even before the time she knew she had to. Perhaps she had an addiction.

Thankfully, the much larger library on campus, allowed students to drink and eat as long as they cleaned up after themselves, which saved Kate time to walk from the quad area near the extremely loud cafeteria, she preferred multitasking as quietly as possible.

New York’s chilling wind blew her long hair wildly, she adjusted her scarf around her neck as she made her way to the front entrance of the library, going straight to the café to pick up something that’ll get her by for the rest of the night.

She ordered a black tea latte, bringing her food and to-go cup to a private cubby in the corner of the library. Barely anyone was here, but it didn’t matter. Sometimes those study groups were distracting. Kate could move to the second floor or request a private room, but that was irritating and inconvenient.

She munched on her meal, sipped her tea, and dove into her material. Better finish it now, then wait until the last minute. It was a good thing she had already started on it in class or she would have struggled to begin. Kate always thought she was a better project planner and a terrible test taker, so she had to work even harder than everyone else who magically got better grades but barely studied. It amazed her how anyone could do that, got by.

While she finished her dinner and drink, she was nearly done with her first assignment, pressing play on some studying music. She leaned back in her chair, stretching her arms above her head. After an hour of sitting in the same place, she felt her body become sore in some places.

She tossed her trash in the bin beside her and stood up to make a quick bathroom stop.

She came out after washing her hands and took her seat, starting on her journalism homework that was due first thing tomorrow. This was the easiest of her work, especially since writing came naturally to her. Kate liked the topic the professor pinned to the homework, she breezed through it, checked it over through revision, and stored the new document onto her thumb drive.

She glanced at the time, it was still a bit early in the night. She had one more left and then she could retire to her dorm. The caffeine was working its way, keeping her alert as expected. Just another solid hour and she was in the clear.

Her phone beeped a new text message, Hannah, she’d written something that caught Kate’s eye, or at least, made her curious to know more.

Hey Kat, ever heard of Prince Charming?

Not the Disney shit, obviously, there’s this writer going viral from a magazine the girls were following

Jess just told me about it, check this out!

Kate groaned softly, she was semi-interested, but that had to wait. She grabbed her phone, answering her back.

No, I’ll see what it is after I finish

Still got one more left 😣😖

Kate made the mistake of clicking the link just to bookmark it for later.

What she saw surprised her, Indulge Magazine, she’d heard of it but it wasn’t Allure or Cosmopolitan, it looked like a fashion publication but on a smaller more boutique scale. She checked the column, reading down some of the questions and answers from someone named Prince Charming.

Kate chuckled, reading one of the questions and answers down the page.

Question: Hi!!! Can you tell me what I need to do to attract a man? I feel like I need to dress sexier, but I’m confused, please help!

Prince Charming: Hello, dear, the best way to attract a man is to be as natural as possible. Attracting men is very simple. Be real, be effortless, being sexy is a bonus, most of us respect confidence, we love the sexy girl, but we also want someone nice. You’ll get him in no time!

Kate covered her mouth as she laughed out loud in the quiet space. Thankfully, no one was around her, is this guy for real? Men don’t respect someone real, the guy must be feeding his audience lies to keep them coming back, this was certainly the cliché she kept on hearing often. Hannah’s advice rang in her mind, but her true feelings about the subject wanted to believe him, something told her he was just telling his fans what they wanted to hear.

Before she could stop herself, she scanned another one, this question was pretty straightforward, Charming’s answer had to be elongated. Kate smirked.

Question: So...I’ve had feelings about this guy at my work, but I’m not his type, what should I do?

Prince Charming: Okay, love, gonna put this straight to you, have you found out if you are really his type? Men don’t have types, sometimes we don’t even know what we want until we see it. Anyone can be our girl, including you! He’s probably already thinking of you at this very moment. That’s something worth holding on to. Take a risk, talk to him, you might be surprised what you found out.

Kate’s eyes narrowed, she leaned back in her chair and rubbed her eyes removing part of her makeup. This guy was officially blowing smoke, it was almost too good to be true. How do the women in the city eat all this up? Hannah’s take on relationships had a point, there is a game, and it’s always played better by the one who tended to care the least. Showing interest doesn’t guarantee anyone a chance, Kate would love to find proof that it did make a difference.

“Hmm, but it could be, either way, Charming wasn’t wrong about taking risks, but what’s the point if the interest isn’t there? Or if one side never shows it?” She asked, almost as if she were asking the question to him, but it was just the screen. “Besides, they never tell you.”

The next question and response really made her mull over what relationships were really about.

Question: Charming! I really need advice. So, here it goes, my girlfriends keep saying I should act like I don’t want to be with this guy I really like, but that is so annoying. Why are my friends telling me to do this? What’s the real deal here? How are guys really like when we show that we want to date them?

Prince Charming: Look, the only way to know for sure is you have to put yourself out there. Have a life, be near him as much as you can. He’ll notice you when you’re constantly around him and may see it as fate. We’re just as sensitive as you are. There is such a thing as soulmates, I believe in it. Love is given to you when you’ve convinced yourself you deserve to be loved. Never lose sight of that, your heart never wants you to be lonely. Embrace your feelings, don’t ignore them. And don’t push him away, we hate games too. Unpopular opinion, or rather, not admitted enough. Remember what I said.

“Ugh!” Kate groaned, feeling herself growing frustrated. “So conflicting, he’s saying a lot of pretty stuff, all these sweet words, but where’s the other side of the argument? Does he think we’re that ignorant?” Kate rubbed her neck, twitching her mouth in thought. “Hannah is right about this, it’s a game, and we’re always losing.”

Her mind was on overdrive with that last one, even if she’d never been in an actual relationship before, she still knew, just being around someone you like isn’t enough. There were so many variables, a man’s ego being a big one. Hannah questioned all of them.

What can drive a man to notice someone? For her, the hell if she knew. It wasn’t like they were lining up. And that had to do with her social situations, she was a bit shy and awkward when it came to meeting anyone, let alone handsome guys. They intimidated her, especially the ones who traveled in groups, like that guy in the pub earlier, a big red flag. It wasn’t like she would see him again. He sure was handsome to look at though, but she needed to let that go.

She frowned, closing the article after bookmarking it, sent her friend a quick yet sarcastic review, and went back to her final study work. At least school work she could make sense of, men? The neverending battle continued. If they were so simple then they’d be more direct in their intentions. She huffed, abandoning that mental discussion for later.

Checking on the time, she might get some sleep tonight. The clock read a couple of minutes after eleven, if she kept this momentum going, she’ll finish everything before midnight, sighing, she trucked on, trying not to pay attention to how much she had left to complete.

An hour later...

Her eyes were closing by the time she had finished. She gathered her belongings, walking back to her empty dorm. Her roommate was never home, that was a positive thing. They rarely saw each other, she was a lot more extroverted than Hannah, almost the polar opposite, as luck would have.

Kate placed her books and shoulder bag down, stripped off her clothes, and took a quick shower. After she was satisfied, she stepped into a towel to get ready for bed. She plugged her phone in to charge the battery and set her alarm for a bright and early time, English class. She hesitated before scrolling through her bookmarks, her thumb ghosting over the link she had saved before.

She shook her head, no, she wasn’t going to obsess about this. The guy was obviously blowing smoke and looking for attention. It just wasn’t right how he was doing it. Lying to everyone, showing the fantasy above everything.

Kate sighed, the writer was probably a male, maybe it was a girl, but somehow Kate didn’t see that. The sentences were too straightforward, as most men would write, sure, Charming dressed up his words in a Hallmark movie dialogue way to draw more readers to him, but she could tell this was a guy, female writing would be a lot longer and more detailed.

She winced, clicking the link, waiting for the page to update with newer responses. Only a couple dressed at the top of the column. Kate couldn’t help herself as she laid under the covers, turning off the light on her nightstand.

Question: I’m worried I’m never going to find love. Why do I feel this ache in the bottom of my stomach for someone? Why is it so hard to keep anyone in my life? What am I doing wrong? Is it me? You talk to us so much about honesty, but I’m wondering, please don’t lie to me, will I ever find love? Hurt me with the truth, don’t save me with the lies.

Prince Charming: The truth? Well, the truth is, yes, you will find it. And you’ll always find it in all kinds of forms. Your love life is a priority because you care, and that’s appealing, believe it or not, men see that. And they will find you, we are always looking for someone to accept us the way we are, just like you are. I sleep in the middle of the bed, myself. I know it’s going to happen for me, and you should believe it too. Your heart is too big to not have anyone protect it. Someone will love you, someone probably already loves you, only you just don’t know it. Just believe...

Kate scoffed, groaning, this kind of stuff is not real. He isn’t real, he’s a figment and she is not the person to live in her fantasies.

Except, her curiosity was the bane of all her decisions, including this one.