Chapter 1: New Arrival
"I used to do this a lot with my brother." She said as she gazes up at the stars.
She looks beautiful under the moonlight with the stars twinkling in her eyes. She lays quietly, while pain from her memories mix in with her beauty.
"Have you ever seen The Lion King?" She asks.
"Yeah. A long time ago." I smile.
"Me and my brother would look up at the stars, and we'd always think about that scene with Mufasa and Simba." She shows a weak smile. "The great kings of the past look down on us from those stars."
She turns her head and looks at me with her glossy eyes.
"After we watched it we believed that lions were in space and lived on the stars." She shows a big, beautiful smile, which I rarely see, but when I do see it, it's infectious.
I love to see her smile, and her giggle is like music to my ears. I laugh with her, but her smile quickly fades, and she stares back up at the stars.
I think back to that day a lot.
God, I miss her
.
My 5am alarm rings, waking me up from my sleep. I turn it off and look to my left. Katie is as far away from me as possible with her back turned to me. I sigh and rub my face, taking a couple minutes to wake up.
After showering and getting changed for work, I make my way down to the kitchen. Katie is up, making herself a breakfast smoothie. Neither of us look at each other or speak.
I make myself a coffee and sit in silence while I drink it. Katie picks up her smoothie and leaves the kitchen. I sigh and take one last sip of coffee, leaving half of it in the mug. I hate his feeling and bad atmosphere, so I snatch my jacket from the coat hanger and leave for work.
****
I walk through reception and Stacey smiles at me from behind the desk.
"Good morning, Michael."
"Morning, Stacey." I smile.
I walk up to the desk and pick up a pen to sign myself in.
"How was your weekend?" She asks.
It was the first weekend I've had off in a while, and considering me and Katie got into another argument, it wasn't great...
"Uh, fine. It was nice to finally have some time to relax." I show a little smile and meet her eyes. "How was your weekend?"
"It was good. Me and Jeff hired a babysitter, and we finally had a date night." She smiles.
"That's nice."
"Sorry, I remember you saying you had plans with Katie's family? How did that go?"
Not well...
"Uh, yeah, it was fine." I smile. "I'm only doing the morning shift, so I'll see you at lunch."
"Ok." She smiles.
I leave reception and walk through the long hallways of the building, making my way to the canteen. The empty room is filled with smells of bacon and sausages cooking. I check my watch and see it's not quite time yet for the patients to be up.
I walk into the kitchen, and the cooks turn their heads to say good morning.
"You're in very early today, Michael!" Fay raises her eyebrows.
Fay is a very nice, sweet, old lady. She reminds me of my Grandmother.
"I had the weekend off, so I guess I couldn't wait to come back." I chuckle.
"Right." She makes a face and laughs. "Early bird catches the worm. Have you had breakfast?"
"I had coffee."
"That's not breakfast." She gives me a look. "Sit down, and I'll bring you some over."
Now you see why she reminds me of a relative. I raise my eyebrows and laugh.
"I'm supposed to be helping you-"
"You can help after you've put food in your stomach, now sit down." She orders.
I don't argue back, and sit down at one of the tables. After a few minutes, Fay comes walking out with a plateful of food.
"Eat up." She smiles, placing the plate in front of me.
I raise my eyebrows, looking at the mountain of food. Two eggs, 4 sausages, beans, cooked tomatoes, toast, mushrooms, and lots of bacon.
"Thank you, Fay. Is there anything left for the patients?" I say sarcastically with a laugh.
"Very funny." She smirks as she wipes her hands on a dish towel. "Eat as much as you can."
She walks back into the kitchen, leaving me to start on the pile of food.
After eating the breakfast, and now feeling very full, I help out in the kitchen until some patients start to emerge, and then I help the nurses with everyone's medication. As I'm going round I make sure to talk to everyone and see how they're doing.
I place down Susan's small cup of medication. She's quietly sat staring at the wall, which is what she always does. I've worked here for 3 years, and I've never heard her speak. She's constantly been in and out of here, but she's not the only one. It's sad when you see people come back time and time again.
Susan is 56, and she has depression, bipolar, OCD, borderline personality disorder, and schizophrenia. All of the patients here suffer with the same things, but some more than others.
"Hi, Susan." I smile.
She takes her eyes away from the wall and looks at me. When she sees it's me she smiles.
"How are you feeling this morning?"
I know she's not going to reply, but it's still important to talk to everyone, whether they talk back or not. She looks away from me and fixes her eyes back on the wall.
"Enjoy your breakfast." I smile and continue handing out medication.
9:30 comes around, which means breakfast is over, and it's time for group therapy. While they are in group therapy I begin to lay out colouring books in the common room, ready for them to have some free time for when they come out. Some people like to colour and watch TV, but most go back to bed.
Group therapy is over by 10:15, and now most people are having some free time, but the really young patients get taken for their educational session, and a few people have one on one sessions with a nurse and psychiatrist.
I keep an eye on the patients who are colouring and watching TV, occasionally talking to a few of them. I never push patients too much if they dont want to talk, but I always let them know that I'm here if they need anything, or if they do want to talk. I've been here long enough to know who likes to interact, and who doesn't. There are nurses around too, but they don't interact with the patients in the way I do.
The TV is always on the highest volume, and Chrissy, who suffers from depression, anxiety, and anger problems, is usually the one who's in charge of the remote, so the other patients rarely get a say in what they watch. If anyone did, it usually ends in a fight. Thankfully, there are no fights this morning.
My shift ends at lunchtime. Once I've tidied up the common room, and seen everyone to the canteen, I make my way to the staff office to write up my end of shift report. I have to document everything I've done today, and make a note of the patients I've spoken to - writing down how their mood has been, and how they've been in general. Once that's done, I sign myself out at reception and say goodbye to Stacey.
On my way home I stop off at the supermarket to get something nice for dinner, and to buy Katie some flowers to apologise.
Katie is usually home by 6. It's now almost 8, and I'm getting worried. I stare at our cold food on the table and then check my phone to see if she's replied to my text. Nothing. I know she's mad at me, but she could at least let me know if she's ok.
10 more minutes pass, and I hear the front door open. I let out a sigh of relief, glad to know that she's home and ok. She walks into the kitchen and glances at me, still giving me the same straight look she had on this morning.
"You're home late." I speak up.
"Yeah." She says bluntly as she pours herself a glass of water.
I sigh and stand up.
"I text you, but you didn't reply. You could've told me you were coming home late. I was worried."
"I went to the gym after work. I didn't see your messages until I finished."
"You've replied to me when you've been in the gym before."
"I was working out, Michael." She sighs. "I don't have my phone strapped to my face 24/7."
"Ok, so, you didn't think to text me before going to the gym?"
"No." She sighs and turns away from me.
"I made us dinner." I pick up the flowers from the table and walk towards her. "And I got you these."
She looks at the flowers and then down at her glass of water.
"I want to apologise. I'm sorry for-"
"You think dinner and some roses make up for it?" She snaps.
"No." I make a face. "But I'm trying, Katie. We haven't spoken since Saturday night, and I don't want this to drag on any longer."
"Drag on?" She scoffs and looks away from me. "You upset me, my sister and my parents, Michael." She frowns.
"I know, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at your family when we had that meal, but there's only so much I can take. Your sister is jealous of us, and your parents think I'm not good enough for you."
"Don't, Michael." She frowns.
"Why? It's true, and you know it. Your Dad is always criticising me, and Louise hates that she's single and you're in a relationship."
"My family like you."
"Then why do I feel like they don't? Your Dad makes me feel like I'm less than all of you because he runs a successful family business, and I work with mentally unstable people, earning half of what you earn. He's always making digs and sly comments, and you say nothing."
"He doesn't mean it, though. They just care, that's all. You're thinking too much into it. And I do back you up! My family know how much you mean to me."
I shake my head and take a deep breath.
"My parents are really hurt with the way you spoke to them. It was awkward and embarrassing after the way you went off at them."
"Yeah. I'll apologise to them and your sister." I say bluntly.
She sighs and turns around.
"Where are you going?" I make a face.
"I'm going for a shower."
"What about dinner?"
"I'll heat it up later."
I roll my eyes and shove the flowers in some water before heating my food up.
The rest of the evening is quiet and we stay out of each others way. I decide to go to bed early because I'm tired and fed up.
I lay in bed reading a book, and hear Katie walk in, but I don't look at her. I feel her get on the bed, and suddenly feel her body on top of me. She takes my book, gently pulling it away from me to get my attention. I look at her, seeing her sat on me in her night dress.
"I'm sorry." She shows a little smile.
I lick my lips and look away from her.
"I'll talk to my parents and Louise, ok? I don't want any bad feelings, and I don't want any of you upset, but I'm stuck in the middle of all this, Michael."
At this point, it's easier to just agree. I'm done with arguing. She won't talk to her family, and nothing will change.
"I love the roses. Thank you." She smiles and strokes her hand through my hair.
She leans forward and plants a soft kiss on my lips, but I don't give much back.
"I love you." She said, looking into my eyes.
"I love you too." I say quietly.
She leans forward and kisses me again.
"Can we have makeup sex now?" She smiles against my lips. "Or do you want to continue reading your book?"
It feels like all we ever do recently is argue and then have sex.
I smirk and stroke my hands up her thighs. She moans and grinds against me, locking her lips back onto mine.
Me and her both know that makeup sex isn't going to fix anything, and it won't make the problems in our relationship go away, but we do it anyway.
THE NEXT DAY
While the patients eat their breakfast, I do my usual routine: say good morning to everyone, and hand them their medication.
Most mornings are deadly quiet, with the occasional chit chat, but this morning was different.
Piercing screams ring through the building. Everyone looks around the room at each other, and the commotion begins.
"A new arrival." Dave smiles.
I leave the nurses with the patients to see what's going on. I walk down the corridor, and up ahead I see a male nurse, and two female nurses crowding around a young girl. She looks scared and in distress.
"Get the fuck away from me!" She screams at the male nurse. "Don't fucking touch me, asshole!"
"Calm down!" He yells.
He walks towards her, trying to grab her arm.
"I said fuck off!!" She screams.
"We'll have to sedate you if you don't calm down!" One of the female nurses shout.
"You can back off too, bitch!" She yells and spits at her.
She starts waving her arms around and tries to hit the male nurse, that's when they restrain her and drag her into a room.
"No! Let me go!"
I quickly walk down to the room, and see they've got her pinned down on the bed, trying to strap her arms down. Her screams and cries are deafening, and it always breaks my heart when we have new patients who are frightened and hysterical. Sadly, this is the case with the majority of new patients.
"Get me the tranquilizer!" The female nurse shouts.
"No, please!" The young girl cries. "I don't want that inside me! Let me go! Let me go!"
Her sobs are loud, and her voice is starting to go hoarse. I have to look away when they inject her. I never like seeing patients get sedated.
The tranquilizer is rapid, and soon enough things are calm and quiet again, until the next time.
After showering and getting changed for work, I make my way down to the kitchen. Katie is up, making herself a breakfast smoothie. Neither of us look at each other or speak.
I make myself a coffee and sit in silence while I drink it. Katie picks up her smoothie and leaves the kitchen. I sigh and take one last sip of coffee, leaving half of it in the mug. I hate his feeling and bad atmosphere, so I snatch my jacket from the coat hanger and leave for work.
****
I walk through reception and Stacey smiles at me from behind the desk.
"Good morning, Michael."
"Morning, Stacey." I smile.
I walk up to the desk and pick up a pen to sign myself in.
"How was your weekend?" She asks.
It was the first weekend I've had off in a while, and considering me and Katie got into another argument, it wasn't great...
"Uh, fine. It was nice to finally have some time to relax." I show a little smile and meet her eyes. "How was your weekend?"
"It was good. Me and Jeff hired a babysitter, and we finally had a date night." She smiles.
"That's nice."
"Sorry, I remember you saying you had plans with Katie's family? How did that go?"
Not well...
"Uh, yeah, it was fine." I smile. "I'm only doing the morning shift, so I'll see you at lunch."
"Ok." She smiles.
I leave reception and walk through the long hallways of the building, making my way to the canteen. The empty room is filled with smells of bacon and sausages cooking. I check my watch and see it's not quite time yet for the patients to be up.
I walk into the kitchen, and the cooks turn their heads to say good morning.
"You're in very early today, Michael!" Fay raises her eyebrows.
Fay is a very nice, sweet, old lady. She reminds me of my Grandmother.
"I had the weekend off, so I guess I couldn't wait to come back." I chuckle.
"Right." She makes a face and laughs. "Early bird catches the worm. Have you had breakfast?"
"I had coffee."
"That's not breakfast." She gives me a look. "Sit down, and I'll bring you some over."
Now you see why she reminds me of a relative. I raise my eyebrows and laugh.
"I'm supposed to be helping you-"
"You can help after you've put food in your stomach, now sit down." She orders.
I don't argue back, and sit down at one of the tables. After a few minutes, Fay comes walking out with a plateful of food.
"Eat up." She smiles, placing the plate in front of me.
I raise my eyebrows, looking at the mountain of food. Two eggs, 4 sausages, beans, cooked tomatoes, toast, mushrooms, and lots of bacon.
"Thank you, Fay. Is there anything left for the patients?" I say sarcastically with a laugh.
"Very funny." She smirks as she wipes her hands on a dish towel. "Eat as much as you can."
She walks back into the kitchen, leaving me to start on the pile of food.
After eating the breakfast, and now feeling very full, I help out in the kitchen until some patients start to emerge, and then I help the nurses with everyone's medication. As I'm going round I make sure to talk to everyone and see how they're doing.
I place down Susan's small cup of medication. She's quietly sat staring at the wall, which is what she always does. I've worked here for 3 years, and I've never heard her speak. She's constantly been in and out of here, but she's not the only one. It's sad when you see people come back time and time again.
Susan is 56, and she has depression, bipolar, OCD, borderline personality disorder, and schizophrenia. All of the patients here suffer with the same things, but some more than others.
"Hi, Susan." I smile.
She takes her eyes away from the wall and looks at me. When she sees it's me she smiles.
"How are you feeling this morning?"
I know she's not going to reply, but it's still important to talk to everyone, whether they talk back or not. She looks away from me and fixes her eyes back on the wall.
"Enjoy your breakfast." I smile and continue handing out medication.
9:30 comes around, which means breakfast is over, and it's time for group therapy. While they are in group therapy I begin to lay out colouring books in the common room, ready for them to have some free time for when they come out. Some people like to colour and watch TV, but most go back to bed.
Group therapy is over by 10:15, and now most people are having some free time, but the really young patients get taken for their educational session, and a few people have one on one sessions with a nurse and psychiatrist.
I keep an eye on the patients who are colouring and watching TV, occasionally talking to a few of them. I never push patients too much if they dont want to talk, but I always let them know that I'm here if they need anything, or if they do want to talk. I've been here long enough to know who likes to interact, and who doesn't. There are nurses around too, but they don't interact with the patients in the way I do.
The TV is always on the highest volume, and Chrissy, who suffers from depression, anxiety, and anger problems, is usually the one who's in charge of the remote, so the other patients rarely get a say in what they watch. If anyone did, it usually ends in a fight. Thankfully, there are no fights this morning.
My shift ends at lunchtime. Once I've tidied up the common room, and seen everyone to the canteen, I make my way to the staff office to write up my end of shift report. I have to document everything I've done today, and make a note of the patients I've spoken to - writing down how their mood has been, and how they've been in general. Once that's done, I sign myself out at reception and say goodbye to Stacey.
On my way home I stop off at the supermarket to get something nice for dinner, and to buy Katie some flowers to apologise.
Katie is usually home by 6. It's now almost 8, and I'm getting worried. I stare at our cold food on the table and then check my phone to see if she's replied to my text. Nothing. I know she's mad at me, but she could at least let me know if she's ok.
10 more minutes pass, and I hear the front door open. I let out a sigh of relief, glad to know that she's home and ok. She walks into the kitchen and glances at me, still giving me the same straight look she had on this morning.
"You're home late." I speak up.
"Yeah." She says bluntly as she pours herself a glass of water.
I sigh and stand up.
"I text you, but you didn't reply. You could've told me you were coming home late. I was worried."
"I went to the gym after work. I didn't see your messages until I finished."
"You've replied to me when you've been in the gym before."
"I was working out, Michael." She sighs. "I don't have my phone strapped to my face 24/7."
"Ok, so, you didn't think to text me before going to the gym?"
"No." She sighs and turns away from me.
"I made us dinner." I pick up the flowers from the table and walk towards her. "And I got you these."
She looks at the flowers and then down at her glass of water.
"I want to apologise. I'm sorry for-"
"You think dinner and some roses make up for it?" She snaps.
"No." I make a face. "But I'm trying, Katie. We haven't spoken since Saturday night, and I don't want this to drag on any longer."
"Drag on?" She scoffs and looks away from me. "You upset me, my sister and my parents, Michael." She frowns.
"I know, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at your family when we had that meal, but there's only so much I can take. Your sister is jealous of us, and your parents think I'm not good enough for you."
"Don't, Michael." She frowns.
"Why? It's true, and you know it. Your Dad is always criticising me, and Louise hates that she's single and you're in a relationship."
"My family like you."
"Then why do I feel like they don't? Your Dad makes me feel like I'm less than all of you because he runs a successful family business, and I work with mentally unstable people, earning half of what you earn. He's always making digs and sly comments, and you say nothing."
"He doesn't mean it, though. They just care, that's all. You're thinking too much into it. And I do back you up! My family know how much you mean to me."
I shake my head and take a deep breath.
"My parents are really hurt with the way you spoke to them. It was awkward and embarrassing after the way you went off at them."
"Yeah. I'll apologise to them and your sister." I say bluntly.
She sighs and turns around.
"Where are you going?" I make a face.
"I'm going for a shower."
"What about dinner?"
"I'll heat it up later."
I roll my eyes and shove the flowers in some water before heating my food up.
The rest of the evening is quiet and we stay out of each others way. I decide to go to bed early because I'm tired and fed up.
I lay in bed reading a book, and hear Katie walk in, but I don't look at her. I feel her get on the bed, and suddenly feel her body on top of me. She takes my book, gently pulling it away from me to get my attention. I look at her, seeing her sat on me in her night dress.
"I'm sorry." She shows a little smile.
I lick my lips and look away from her.
"I'll talk to my parents and Louise, ok? I don't want any bad feelings, and I don't want any of you upset, but I'm stuck in the middle of all this, Michael."
At this point, it's easier to just agree. I'm done with arguing. She won't talk to her family, and nothing will change.
"I love the roses. Thank you." She smiles and strokes her hand through my hair.
She leans forward and plants a soft kiss on my lips, but I don't give much back.
"I love you." She said, looking into my eyes.
"I love you too." I say quietly.
She leans forward and kisses me again.
"Can we have makeup sex now?" She smiles against my lips. "Or do you want to continue reading your book?"
It feels like all we ever do recently is argue and then have sex.
I smirk and stroke my hands up her thighs. She moans and grinds against me, locking her lips back onto mine.
Me and her both know that makeup sex isn't going to fix anything, and it won't make the problems in our relationship go away, but we do it anyway.
THE NEXT DAY
While the patients eat their breakfast, I do my usual routine: say good morning to everyone, and hand them their medication.
Most mornings are deadly quiet, with the occasional chit chat, but this morning was different.
Piercing screams ring through the building. Everyone looks around the room at each other, and the commotion begins.
"A new arrival." Dave smiles.
I leave the nurses with the patients to see what's going on. I walk down the corridor, and up ahead I see a male nurse, and two female nurses crowding around a young girl. She looks scared and in distress.
"Get the fuck away from me!" She screams at the male nurse. "Don't fucking touch me, asshole!"
"Calm down!" He yells.
He walks towards her, trying to grab her arm.
"I said fuck off!!" She screams.
"We'll have to sedate you if you don't calm down!" One of the female nurses shout.
"You can back off too, bitch!" She yells and spits at her.
She starts waving her arms around and tries to hit the male nurse, that's when they restrain her and drag her into a room.
"No! Let me go!"
I quickly walk down to the room, and see they've got her pinned down on the bed, trying to strap her arms down. Her screams and cries are deafening, and it always breaks my heart when we have new patients who are frightened and hysterical. Sadly, this is the case with the majority of new patients.
"Get me the tranquilizer!" The female nurse shouts.
"No, please!" The young girl cries. "I don't want that inside me! Let me go! Let me go!"
Her sobs are loud, and her voice is starting to go hoarse. I have to look away when they inject her. I never like seeing patients get sedated.
The tranquilizer is rapid, and soon enough things are calm and quiet again, until the next time.
