Chapter 1
Insecurities
I hate feeling insecure. It makes me so frustrated. You could even say fucking pissed off. It causes me to rethink literally everything I do. From what I say, to what others might think of me, to what I'm wearing, if the person that I passed on the street thought that I was a bitch for ignoring them, if I maybe couldn't have worked a little bit harder for that one assignment that I worked my butt off for, if my friends are annoyed by me for not fully engaging in the conversation we last had, even if my dog still liked me or simply found me annoying for cuddling her non-stop. I know I'm not the only one who feels like this sometimes. I do believe that feeling insecure is something that comes and goes and for some people it hangs around for a longer period of time. I want you to think about your own insecurities and to turn them around. Not say to yourself 'oh you shouldn't think like this' but to look at your friends, family, neighbours, teachers, that one special person that you love... You love them for a reason. Do you mind the outfit your friend is wearing when they come to your house, do you think that they didn't work hard enough for that assignment, do you mind if they are not able to fully engage in a conversation sometimes etcetera. I don't think you do, I think you love them no matter what. I think that you are very proud of them and everything they do and you believe in them. You don't mind if they are just tired sometimes. You don't mind that person for ignoring you on the street. So why would they think that of you? Remember that everyone feels insecure sometimes. You are not alone, even if it might feel like that sometimes. Like you believe in the people around you, whoever that may be, you are able to believe in yourself too. I don't ask of you to throw those insecurities away but to learn from them as you grow. Think about that one assignment: could you have done more in that specific period of time? You know you worked very hard. If you stayed up longer, it would've ruined your sleep schedule. If you said no to hanging out with your friends it would've given you more time to work but it would've ripped you of the relaxation you desperetely needed at that moment. Without relaxing your work would've slacked off because it makes concentrating harder. I want you to feel proud of yourself. That you did it, even with your insecurtities. They are not a burden. You are not a burden. You deserve to relax too. You wouldn't want your friends to work way too hard, yet you do it to yourself. Mental health is important. It's not lame. You deserve to be happy.
